anjeleyes77proud pagan's blog: "My life...such as it is..."

Alight ppl its offical, TODAY IS A GREAT DAY!! My brother arrived safe and sound and we have been having a blast! We havent actually been doing anything but its great to be together again! Anyway I'm going to get back to the family stuff and I'll catch up with everyone as soon as I can. much love brightest blessings

1-17-07 So I think my meds are dumbing me down...the last full blown IQ test I took I scored 133, tonight I take one (a short one, but still...) and I get : I guess its a good thing I dont put much stock in IQ tests, otherwise I might be worried right now, lol... ********************************** So on 4-17 I retook my IQ test (I have been off my meds for almost 2 months) and I got the following ...this more like the results I usually get!!

TO all my dear friends: I'm sorry I have been absent the last couple days, and will be for at least a couple more. Okay I'm not really sorry, you see for the first time in 15 monthes my baby brother is coming for a visit!!!! (alright I cant really call him a baby...hes 6'6" and 25 yrs old, but anyone with a 'baby' brother knows what I mean) He gets in tomorrow afternoon and I have a million things I want to get done before he gets here. He's coming out to give me guardianship (sp?) of his daughter so that he can go into the army. I obviously have mixed feelings about this...on one hand I am so proud of him for serving our country and doing something with his life but on the other hand, Iraq, hello.... It almost seems like a cruel joke that I am seeing him after 15 long monthes only for him to be leaving again, and this time most likely leaving to end up in harms way... ANYHOW, if it takes me a day or two to get back to you please dont think I am ignoring you, I'm just busy fitting in as much time as I can with my little bro. Everyone have a great week, be good to each other and hug someone you love!! brightest blessings

My Physical Survey

Physical Appearance
Hair Color	brown
Hieght	5'9"
Glasses	yes
Shoe Size	I'm not telling!!
Casual or Formal	casual
Long or Short Hair	medium
Manicured or Natural	natural
Eye Color	brown

Let's get Physical
Lights on or Off	off
Bed or Table	bed
Romantic or Wild	wild
Risky or Safe	risky
Hugs or Kisses	kisses
Ears or Neck	neck
Walk fast or Slow	fast
Dance or Tap Foot	tap foot
Walk or Ride	ride
Stay in or Go Out	go out
Spontanious or Planned	planned
Organized or Frazzled	frazzzled
Early or Late	late
Taken or Single	taken
High Places or Well Grounded	well grounded
Swimming or Skiing	swimming
Hiking or Beach Stroll	hiking
Vertical or Horizontal	horizontal
Bath or Shower	shower
Roll-on or Spray	roll-on
Hot or Cold	hot
Tongue or Lips	lips
Type or Write	type
Read or Sing	sing
Talk or Listen	listen
One of the Gang or Outsider	outsider
Loud or Quite	quiet
School or Work	work
Smoke or Drink	YES
Thanksgiving Dinner or Midnight Snack	midnight snack
Napkin or Hand Towel	hand towel
Theater or Rentals	rentals
Candle lit Dinner or Pizza	pizza
Passion or Craziness	craziness
Pessimist or Optimist	pessimist
Truth or Dare	dare
Phone Call or Online Chat	phone call
Plastic or Paper	paper
Cash or Credit	cash
Hot or Not	not

Take This Survey Get Other Surveys At ProfileJewels.net

What do you do when you have property taxes overdue, the mortgage due, out of state company coming and your sole support just walked out on their job? Do you cry? Do you scream? Do you just go numb and hope everything works out before youlose whats left of your mind? I dont know what the answer is...all I know is that I am scared... I understand why he walked from the job but with four kids and all the stuff that needs paying I cant say I think it was the best idea to ever happen. Someone say a prayer, 'cause its about to get rough around here...

the last puppy went to his new home today...I have mixed feelings on this. I am glad to have several fewer dogs (9 total was just too much!!), yet I am sad (they really were adorable little gals). And I had to find homes for two of the bigger dogs, another mixed set of emotions...I dont actually care for dogs but after almost a year it was hard not to be attached... Oh well life goes on right? I'm just going to focus on the fact that I now have a two dog household and two dogs is mopre than enough for a 'cat person' Hey theres my positive, now I can get a cat! yea cats! lol, okay I think I'm done for now, back to the girls and all the joy that is morning with them...

9 lasts 1. cigarette: smoking it now 2. beverage: coffee 3. kiss: 4. hug: 10 minutes ago 5. movie seen: the ring 2 6. cd played: JoDee Messina 7. song listened to: stunning by 8 mm 8. bubble bath: a long long time ago 9. time you cried: yesterday 8 have you evers 1. dated one of your best friends: yes 2. skinny dipped: yes 3. kissed somebody and regretted it: yes 4. fallen in love: yes 5. lost someone you loved: yes 6. been depressed: yes 7. been drunk and threw up: yes 8. ran away: yes 7 states you've been to' California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Texas, Alabama and Wyoming 6 things you've done today 1. cooked panckaes 2. chased kids 3. cleaned house 4. noticed this list didnt have a number 4 5. played on CT 6. smoked ciggs. 5 favorite things in no order 1. my kids 2. the color purple 3. butterflies 4. Clifornia 5. Vodka 4 people you last talked to 1. Frank 2. Hunter 3. Kitty 4. Domino 3 wishes 1. Go back to California 2. have more money 3. get more sleep 2 things you want to be when you grow up 1. I'm not growing up!!! 2. 1 thing you regret 1. I dont want to talk about it

I'm sorry I havent been on at all today...the girls and I were out playing and doing gardening before I went to 'group' For those that are confused I go to a group therapy setion every thursday to work on regulating my emotional responses to the world...BPD is a bitch but I try not to be, lol... Anyway... Today I hate therapy, even group sucks...I dont want to think about the parts of me that are hidden from the world, they are hidden for a reason, BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!! With that rant done I think I'll just say thank you to my friends for bearing with me and I promise I'll get back to commenting you soon...

Okay I had the pic up for a while but Iwant the space for other stuff...here are the pics of our new pups (well a couple of them...they didnt want to be still!)

Hey all my CT family! Just a quick update...yes the puppies are doing great...eyes are open and they are roaming! Now I just need to find them homes...no more dogs for Torri!! (and yes that means the momma dog is getting fixed!) I am still a little wiped from my new meds but I am spending more time feeling human so this is good...I should be back to being on line and dealing with the girls and all that really soon...speaking of girls there is screaming from the kitchen so I should run... hugs to you all anjel