anjeleyes77proud pagan's blog: "My life...such as it is..."

Well I just got off of the phone with my mom and it seems that one of my angels has passes away... When I was young and things were really bad between my parents the powers that be granted me an angel to watch over not just myself but my brother and mother as well. Lonnie Shepard was an angel if ever there was one. When dad went insane and busted in the plate glass windows it was my angel who hurried us to his car and gave us a safe place to sleep. When I need a place to hide from the world my angel was there and when I didnt knwo how to go on, you guessed it that angel stood by my side and made me smile at the good in the world. Lonnie was an inspiration and a friend, a sweet man and a hard fighter. He helped to shape who I am and how I see the world. Rest in Peace Lonnnie I love you

lol.... today is the first day of Torri vs. The girls...so far not too bad, but I am looking forward to naptime! After so long helping raise kids you would think I could handle these three better...lol...and yes I mean so long-going on 21 years of raising and caring for children... I think I can handle them, I just wasnt ready for today to start. WAIT- rephrase!! I KNOW I CAN HANDLE THEM!! My step sons were way harder than a group of toddlers!! I can do this and now I am off (haha I mean off to go deal with the girls, smartasses!)

Yucky, I hate therapy day...The drained feeling, the tiredness in my eyes...what a crap way to feel when it is such a beautiful day outside. Oh well...I start to settle into the post therapy blah, no use in fighting this battle I alway lose... but wait in the kitchen what is that sound... OMG, the girls have found a giant sheet of giant bubble wrap-after streching it out on the kitchen tile they are now bouncing on it giggling wildly at the noise they are creating! Even little kassandera has joined the game! and POOF my therapy day blues are shed and I cant help but to smile... Thank you girls, you have reminded me once again of where to find joy...in the little things, in the things that touch my heart... Thank you my sweet angels. (which reminds me Darlin Anjel [Amber] left today so I am now on my own with the three girls...I am thanking them now, but I bet in a day or two I'm grumpin about them...lol..they are toddlers after all!)

man what a weekend...so many ups and downs! At this moment it is one of those down moments. The runt puppy died in my hand this morning while I was waiting on Amber to bring its bottle. I knew this was probably coming but it still sucks... the remaining five are all active, healthy and LOUD when they are ready to eat again. LOL, and cute too...

WEll I am worried that the runt may not make it...the poor little thing is so small (less than 3 ounces) and we are hand feeding at this point. Sometimes it really sucks to be an animal lover...its a dog for goodness sake-I should not be this worried or sad... At least the other pups are doing good. Should be interesting once they are up and moving around! Between the saga of yesterday and the goodbye party last night (that lasted until the early morning near dawn hours) I am so done...I cant wait until I can sleep all night...it would be nice to sleep tonight but a hand fed pup is as bad as a new born baby and I will be up and down tonight-again I say sometimes animal love sucks...lol. Yeah I know not really but damn it I'm tired and just a little grumpy at this point... Oh, wait...hehehe...I need my second wind! I forgot its girls night...okay I'm not grumpy anymore. since I'll just be up the street I can take care of the puppy and have a little more fun before I am completley exhausted...LMAO, god I'm in trouble tomorrow! Can we all say WALKING ZOMBIE? At least I'll be having a good time till them!

Okay, with the death of one puppy our final count is six new babies...I think we may have to keep one...the runt is only palm sized and adorable as anything I've ever seen...

sorry the pic is grainy...had to use my phone cam since my digital is dead atm...

Just to vent for a second... I HATE DRIVING IN THE RAIN!! While dashing out into the world I almost became part of an accident on the Intersate...and when I say almost I mean less than two feet from getting a new hood orndament for the car...sheesh...thank goodness for good brakes and quick thinking!! OOOO...AND I got home to find we now have 6 puppies! I love my dog but she better be done this time!! LOL... At least Joanne finally went back to sleep so I have a few minute peace and quiet before I start waking people up so we can go shopping

...it looks like we have a final count of five new puppies...oh goodie, oh joy...lol...they are cute as hell but I already have 4 dogs...see what happens when the toddlers let the dog out?!? lol...man what a way to start my day!

...at least thats the nice way to think about it! Its only 6:45 and I feel like I have put in a full day already... I have been up and down since the early morning thunder woke the girls-I dont think Joanne ever actually went back to sleep since she had me back up at 4. Thank goodness Elizabeth fell back out...at least this way one of them will be decent to be around! Add to the morning chaos the fact that the dog started having puppies around 5 and gettting ryan up for school at 6 and you get one tired Torri...too bad theres no way I can get a nap today, lol... Oh well such is the life of the mommy/aunty/dog nurse...hehehe, please forgive me if I am getting loopy by mid-morning (I am a silly silly woman if I dont get enough sleep-that is until the grumpies set in!!) Back to the dog and the new puppies (four of them so far and shes still going! Anyone want a puppy? LMAO)