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tiger of the year

In a zoo in California , a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health, although physically she was fine. The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.

After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species. The only orphans" that could be found quickly, were a litter of weaned pigs. The zoo keepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops??

Take a look........ you won't believe your eyes!!

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

one armed man

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and a lot of things that took two arms. One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life. He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms. The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again. He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?" He said, "I'm NOT happy ... My butt itches."

sex in the dark

Sex In The Dark There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

Bikers Alphabet

A is for Assholes, you dodge on the street. B is for Bitches, they're looking so sweet. C is for Chrome, the Biker's sunshine of life. D is for Dancers, your M/C bro's wife. E is for Evo, the new special breed. F is for Fatboy, built low for great speed. G is for Glide, Wide, Electra and Dyna. H is for Harley, that hot steel vagina. I is for Iso, the pegs for your scoot. J is for Jerk Offs, you give them your boot. K is for K Model, bike of yesteryear. L is for Liquor, the booze and the beer. M is for Money, to go party in town. N is for (K)'Nuckles, used to (k)'nock assholes down. O is for Old Lady, who sweetens your bed. P is for Pussy, no more need be said. Q is for Quick, it's how you getaway. R is for Roadrash, let's hope none today. S is for Softail, the bike slung so low. T is for Tires, they make your bike go. U is for Up Yours, you say to some jerk. V is for V-Twin, that rolling artwork. W is for Wide Glide, that beefy front end. X is for X-Ray, for when you're on the mend. Y is for Young Bimbos, that ride on your scoot. Z is for Zero, like when you're out of loot.

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mean moms

My aunt sent this to me and I thought it worth the share... Mean Moms Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me: I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home. I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes. I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect. I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart. But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them. Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Ch ild Labor Laws by making us work We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to b e mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules" Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule # 2 If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. Rule # 3 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. Rule # 4 It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together. Rule # 5 Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are? Rule # 6 Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. Rule # 7 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both. Rule # 8 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs. Rule # 9 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we. Rule # 10 Women who wear Wonderbras or low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. Rule # 11 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary. Rule # 12 Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

be careful what you ask...

Sam & Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky "Becky, I was wondering... Have you ever cheated on me?" Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..." "Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..." "Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..." "Three, hmmm, well when were they?" as his face turned red, but realizing he had pressured her... "Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?" "Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me.... So when was number 2?" "Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here to do the surgery himself and then you were in good shape again?" "I can't believe it!! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life... I couldn't have a more wonderful wife... To do such a thing, you must really love me darling... I couldn't be more moved... So, all right then, when was number 3?" "Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the fishing club .... And you were 17 votes short...."

be careful what you say...

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well I'll be damned." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

advice to men

Women's Advice to Men The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie. Don't fret if you find out that the milkman delivers more than once a day. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"? Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
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