March 12th, 2009
My feeilings
Why do I have to feel this way?
Why do they come in my life again and again?
With each one a different story.
Tho each story ends the same.
Ends with me getting heartbroken,
Feeling unwanted or not worthy enough.
Each persons story I understand.
But why each story do,
I get dragged back in,
I get mixed signals,
I beleave them agian.
One story I cant say anything but,
I understand and still feel hurt and used.
The other story I fall back in his lie,
I beleave him when he says he misses me
And he loves me.
I beleave him when he says he cant wait to have me back.
And once again i get hurt,
I feel worthless and feel nobody wants me.
Nobody wants a single mother.
Nobody cares how I feel
Otherwise they wouldnt be doing this to me.
They'd be honest with me and
They wouldnt change anything.
They wouldnt make excuses
And they wouldnt duck and dodge me.
If only they truly knew
How I felt.
If only thye truly understood.
The pain and hurt I go through
Nows the time I start
Blaming myself.
Because if I could keep my mouth shut
and not say anything,
They wouldnt konw how I felt for them.
It wouldnt hurt as bad
with the rejection that comes with me talking.
If only my heart would turn to stone. If only I had no feelings for men
Then it wouldnt hurt anymore.
I wouldnt get my heart broken over and over.
Only if I could learn how to keep my heart closed off forever.
I dont need these feelings anymore
Because nobody wants what I have to offer
And wehn they do, they lie about it to get
what they want, not caring about me.
Well thats it
Im done getting hurt
Im locking my feelings away never coming out
again until I know.
Thats it, this is the time.
Im tired of the games,
Im tired of the lies,
Its time for me to stop
Giving.
Its time fro me to start
Recieving
Its about what I want in life.
Its about who will want to share that with me
Its about putting my son before EVERYONE.
I will no longer feel unwanted.
OR worthless.
Or be the one always getting hurt.
I will keep this wall up and not let it down until...
Its time.
by: Malissa M. Watkins
