OK so this is my Christmas cookie fiasco story. This year for Christmas I am really trying to get into the Christmas spirit. I bought a tree and put it up, lights and all. This is a first. But tonight takes the cake.
So my son and I decide that we are going to make Christmas (chocolate chip) cookies tonight. We have it all figured out, Christmas cookies then a viewing of the classic, Christmas Vacation. Sounds like a wonderful evening right, wrong. Well at least for now. So we run up to the local grocery store and pick up a bag of chocolate chip cookies and I read on the back which other ingredients I will need. I am lucky to have milk in the house, non less vanilla extract and brown sugar. Although I did clean out the cupboard today and noticed I had some baking soda. That would be put to use later so no need to pitch it with the rest of the junk that was collecting dust. Ok so we go through the checkout and the girl, rather observantly, says "awwww, you guys are making Christmas cookies, thats so sweet". She was correct, a little male bonding going on. She wishes us luck as we leave the checkout. So far all is well. Total price $18.54
So all is merry when we pull into the driveway and I realize that I do not have any baking sheets. Yeah I am a single guy, shoot me. Needless to say, we went from drive right into reverse, back to the grocery we go. I was thinking however and grabbed two baking sheets. So off to the checkout counter we head again. Same lane, same girl. First thing I hear is "Hey you are back". Yeah I know how to set a first impression. Then comes "what kind of woman sends you out to pick this stuff up". My response, no woman lives in my house, hence the reason I don't have vanilla extract, brown sugar and now baking sheets. "oh" was her response with a little twinkle in her eye. Next she states "Im not going to see you in 10 minutes again am I?". I say no as we head toward the door. Again she wishes us luck as we walk out to the car. 2nd trip price $10.54
We arrive home and i am ready to do some baking. I begin following the instructions when i notice that I have baking powder instead of the baking soda it calls for in the recipe. Oh well, I am not facing that checkout girl again. It is going to have to work. So i mix the flour, salt and baking powder. Now its time to mix the butter and sugar and such when i realize that I do not have a mixer. Damn. So I yell to my son, get your shoes on. Back on the road again.
There was no way I was going back to the same grocery store and face the same checkout girl, so I went to the CVS. Surely they would have something. They did. Last stop I hope. Total price $10.99.
Ok so i am set, nothing else could go wrong right, wrong. Silly me decided to make a double batch, you know us men are pigs, especially when chocolate chip cookies are involved. So I am mixing it all up and I am smelling some burning. Yeah burning. Note to self, never ever buy the cheapest household appliances available. You got it, mixer is burning. So the dough was a little too thick and the little engine inside the mixer just could not pull its weight. I slowed it down but the mixer just has fizzled out, Dead. Damn I just bought it 10 minutes earlier. Time to get out the giant spatula. That is work, my forearms were burning.
The cookies are now in the oven and I am pretty sure that I will be cooking the 15 lbs of batter until 3am. Why did i double it up, never double it up. I am certainly no Betty Crocker. Nor do i want to be. Next time i am just buying the ones in the box at the bakery counter for $5.99. Total cookie extravaganza $40.07 what a deal.
Well at least my son is having fun watching me bake like a madman. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas......
