amber101708's blog: "Music"

Hey its Jade. If you guys havent heard Rockstar and her husband Josh go into a car accident last Tuesday. Everyone came out ok just a few minor injuries. They lost the truck tho. So if you guys could hit up Rockstars page and donate a buck or so and help the Godmother of GOM out. Her myspace ishttp://www.myspace.com/rockstarisacunt. Her and Josh are in a tight spot and they need our help so if you could stop by and donate something for them. They are out a vehicle and its a week before christmas. I know everyone is tight with money right now but if you could just stop and donate what you can that would be awesome. Rockstar and Josh have helped me through a lot this year and they are great people please try and donate what you can. Also if you wanna help anyother way please get in contact with me. Thanks so much!! Jade Msn mess- happygrl_2002_ Yahoo mess- morbidtaintedangel069 Gmail- jade.angel.gom@gmail.com

COHEED AND CAMBRIA "Welcome Home" You could've been all I wanted But you weren't honest Now get in the ground You choked off the surest of favors But if you really loved me You would've endured my world Well you're just as I presumed A whore in sheep's clothing Fucking up all I do And if it's here we stop Then never again Will you see this in your life? Hang on to the glory at my right hand Here laid to rest is our love ever longed? With truth on the shores of compassion You seem to take premise to all of these songs You stormed off to scar the armada Like Jesus played letter, I'll drill through your hands The stone for the curse you have blamed me With love and devotion, I'll die as you sleep But if you could just write me out To neverless wonder... happy will I become Be true that this is no option, So with sin I condemn you Demon play, demon out! Hang on to the glory at my right hand Here laid to rest is our love ever longed? With truth on the shores of compassion You seem to take premise to all of these songs One last kiss for you One more wish to you Please make up your mind girl... I'd do anything for you One last kiss for you One more wish to you Please make up your mind girl... Before I hope you die so id figure id start my newest blog w/ my most fav song!! So monday i start beauty school. im soo excited! yesterday i went to the dr. As many of you know I have female issues. I dont have a monthly friend. So after 3 years of testing and blood work and all that bs. My new specialist now is 99% sure knows whats wrong w/ me. I have to go in for an MRI on my brain and an dexa scan. The Dexa scan is like an xray on my hips and spine to see is i have thick bones or weak bones. My estrogen is bordering low and normal. So yeah. Then the MRI is to see I might have a cyst on my brain. He siad not to worry so Im not. they cant pop it or it'll cause more damage. They just go away if i do have one. Then so its down to a cyst on my brain or my gland isnt working. So I'm normal he says... I guess he doesnt know me well enough! lmao So basically to have babies I just need to take about as much hormoes as 1/2 of a birth control pill. So he said when I'm ready to go in and he'll put me on it. So I'm happy and I now know I can have babies.. so in about 3+ years I'll be a modified mama!! haha!! So I just wanted to give yinz a quicky update! I'm so excited!! I can choose when to get knocked up!! WOOT WOOT!! umm i'm still w/ my bf. in a few years i hope to be out of my parents house for good. im staying busy. thank god! if i dont stay busyt i'll go nuts. an d the typical dramatic unnessesary bull shit!! also im doing well working and not getting paid! lol.. gom is coming along AWESOME!! ill keep you updated!! well im exhausted. I just wanted to let anyone who cares that i am alive and well and to hit me up for my cell number! xo's Jade

omg I havent wrote/ been on in foreva!! So I got addicted to the show Miami Ink. So on Myspace they had a bulletine about a casting call for anyone who wants a portrait. So I thought of a rib tattoo before in memory of my grandpa Smith but I decided to do a portrait of him and i when I was a baby. have it and oval and light around it and have it fade and underneath have it say "His Patsy always and forever." This is the pic I wanna use... the pic So Im working on the application. Here is the only part im ify about too long tm or what My tattoo is a baby picture of me and my grandpa holding me. He helped raise me. He was a stay at home at a point and while grandma and my mom where at work I'd stay home and grandpa babysat me. May 2006 We found out he had lung cancer. I was graduating that June. He had just enough energy see me walk. Then this past January he passed away. So the portrait I want was his favorite picture of us. So how is that so far?? Ok besides that!! Saturday is deffinatly my bday!! Ill be 20!! Im pumped. Throwing a bash at my budy LeAnnes. A Pure Romance party then everyone is just gonna chill watch tv act RETARTED!!! All that good stuff. Then Saturday Its Sean and I for a lil bit of stuff to do. But he just put 1035 in his Mountaineer so the next 2 weeks are sitting at home chillin. So he said we'll do my bday up big then. So Im pumped!! He wont be able to make it for the Pure Romance part so Friday Im getting my money from my mommy and Im gonna blow it on soem good old fashion toys and novelties!! So Ill have PLENTY of pics from the party if I can find my camera! Ill be pissed if I cant! Fuck Ill need to buy one then!! lol. So then yesterday I dyed my hair. Its rockin! I have fuschia streaks hidden. It looks soo good!! So for the top panel of my hair Im goona hot roller it and have the pin up curls then straighten the rest. sounds off the wall but soooo cute. Tried it last night. So Im MOVING OUT!! Yup spreading my wings and moving out and the end of August. Im gonna be living w/my buddy's LeAnne and Del. Oh did I mention Sean too! Yup were heading out on our own, kinda. 300 a month and our groceries! THATS IT!! We'll struggle w/ some stuff but thats ok. We'll be able to make it. Plus Im gonna try and go to cosmetology school. So Ill be able to do ppls hair. I got a chair waiting for me when I graduate. Plus Ill have my friends to come and have me do their hair. So thats about it... Oh Im also getting tested for menapause. Yup Im gonna be 20 and maybe already going through it. So I had LeAnne and Del's grandpa (a preacher) pray over me. Hes help heal many people. I pray and hope that I can get healed too. He told me one story that blew my mind. A young boy almost 30+ years ago almost mos got his leg cut off from the knee down. Yes OFF!! CUT OFF!! So what they did was take another piece of the same leg and fused it on to his leg. His left leg was 1 and a half inches SHORTER than his right. So he went to church on his special shoes and told the preacher (grandpa) that he wanted him to bless his leg. So Grandpa had him come to he front pew and lay down. grandpa took off his socks and shoes.Then began to pray. The boy stood up and was completly level. He was healed. So he left his shoes there. So I can only hope and pray I get healed. I ahev an extremly strong faith i the power of God and in God. So I keep a level head dont worry about a persons illness or dilema. I sit and pray for them. So yeah... Im tired.... Im done... I'll ad more tomorrow!! xo's Amber

A tortured soul, a girl who tries yet always fail, she says a little world, and it gets flipped upside down, someonetakes offense and gets upset, for the tortured soul is at fault again, a cruisifiction is soon to come, the small home of 5ill become four, they discourage her from speaking up, They want her gone into oblivion, for there is no room for her, the princess and queen want to see her gone, for she works for the house, cinderella had a chance, this soul has none, once bright and happy, now only wanting a way out, a miracle to come, her night in shining armor is defenseless, for only in his eyes is she his queen, to everyoen else she is a common field mouse, will our hero survive? we can only hope!! the queen favorite is her precious spoiled princess, her baby girl, the one that isnt the bastard of the girls, the one who loves and adores her, unliek the one who is a slave, the bastard child, the one who unlike her younger sister, the artistic and different one, the one who has had the most issues, the broken one, the one who no one can love but her prince and her guardian angel papa, shes yearns to feel no pain, why cant the pain go away, why does this have to happen? all because of a word and how she felt, she expressed herself and now she is persecuted, she is a criminal and will go befor ethe jury for the sentence, she expects to be crusified, like every other time she gets in trouble, its an ordeal when she slipps up, is it show the town what not to do? why is she the poster child for screwing up? the queen screwed up by fucking a pauper, now she has the bastard baby she never planned for, she even fucked the pauper on her parents kitchen floor. opps there goes some laundry! now she'll really get the book thrown at her. all she needs to do now is say a prayer and pull up her boot straps and get ready for the jury... of 2.

Thursday, March 08, 2007 Subject : Me or my sister?? Category: Parties and Nightlife I swear each day my sister gets touchier and bitchier!! I am fucking sick of her treating me like shit and not listening to a god damn word I say! I help her w/ her homework and point soem errors out and she trips out! It seems not matter what I ask her to do or say to her she fucking flipps her wig! Seh is going to make me loose my mind faster than anything. I hope I get a job soon so I see her LESS!!! My mental health is going to be SHOT if she screams at me anymore! I give her suggestions hell i try and talk to her and she acts liek ive just got done cussing her out! She has got to be starting soon! AHHHHH its next saturday!! St. Pattys day!! oh well Ill be gone that night so its all good!! the comment left from my moms myspace: this is your little sis . Why would you talk abot me on myspace in frount of your friends when you can go up to me and talk me about . I just want my old sister back then a snobby mean sister. Then the bulletine I posted after this Im now marking them ALL PRIVATE! It seems my little sister is now going on my moms account and reading my blogs and putting in her 2 cents. She is also upset if I vent if she irratates me one day and I write about it. So I'll no longer keep them friends only they'll only be my my eyes only. Sorry guys but shit happens and shit now longer can be free or ridcule and drama. So I'll fix it before more drama occures. So I'll ttygl!! xo's Amber my moms email to me Good deal but you know Amber how would you like it if she called you a bitch? That was not nice. I would be hurt to but I understand where you are coming from. I know we all have our rights to our opinions but you both only have 1 sister and she doesn't feel as though you love her maybe you two need to sit down and talk words do hurt maybe you don't think that but they do why don't you try talking she definately needs to control her temper and talk and not yell. But no one needs to be calling names. I agree maybe you should just keep your blogs for your eyes only. I do love you both no one more than the other the gelousy between you two needs to quit!!! We love you both!!! Love, MOm Then my mom called on her lunch break just to make me feel like shit and blame this all on me!! aint that just mother fucking peachy! I am gealous of my sister! shes 11 and gets away w/ murder! if she doesnt liek what my mom is cooking that night no big deal. I dont like what my mom is making that night i get harassed all fucking day and and night about it! Then I get sarcastic and I get threatened with getting slapped or grounding! She SCREAMS at the TOP OF HER lungs says no i hate you i dont wanna live her anymore. and she gets yelled at. UM HELLO!!! where and the fuck is that fair? yes she is 11 but her ass knows better!! just like I do! Im FUCKING ALMOST 20!! grounding?? are you serious?? I need to get outta here soon than later! then she asks me howd i feel if she called me a bitch!! HELLO!! ive been called a bitch SINCE HER AGE!!! Its like calling me by my name!! Then she got pissed and irratated when I said It wouldt bother me!! she said in a really sarcastic mannor it wouldnt bother you?? i doubt that! if you and I got heated and i called you a bitch you wouldnt care? I said nope!! then she gave out a heavy sigh! and said that my sister and i need to talk and that she'll stay out of it and that we need to work out our issues! It wont be pretty. im already on the defensive. So when im getting attacked which i know i will i shut up and say what they wanna hear! so I can get my crusfiction over with! yes i will own up to calling her a bitch! but what 11 year old should be on their moms account reading shit?? umm none!! so again my mom is on my sisters side! wow surprise surprise!! i hope my dad gets home before my mom so sean and i can leave!! we wont get back until late then I have church!! oh darn cant do it then until after she gets done w/ school!! you know this is supposed to make shit better but shitw ill get worse!! i guarentee it! it'll make me more bitter than what i already am! so say a prayer for me light a few candels and bust out that rosary(sp?)!! thank god I have a HUGE ass its gonna get all chewed off!! xo's Amber

sigh. Tusday is my grandpas bday! im going to release balloons at the old parks him and grandma took me to. and if its nice out i wanna swing. I watched Return to me last night w/ sean and grandma, I bawled almost the whole time. The grandpa in there reminds me so much of mine. Well im sitting at my aunts right now and I found the last pic w/ him in it. I'll upload it in a few min after this. it was january 2 2007. then he was gone only 4 days later. I knew it was his last holiday. in every pic that i am in w/ him hes right behind me. I know he is to this day. so much drama has happened since his passing. I just want him back. my mom aunt and sister have all had dreams w/ him in it and they talk to him. I havent. but i guess when i pray i pray to grandpa and god. i just ask for his help and vent to him. he still keeps my mind at ease! I guess ill end my blog here! its too sad and sappy!! mucho smooches!! Amber

Ok so most of you myspacers have me on your page 2 times!! One for my GOM and modleing page then for my personal peeps!! SO I am in talks with a band to sign them on w/ GOM. Cross your fingers and say a prayer!! I want this!! Fuck that I need this! I wont give up! out of about a dozen or 2 bands that i have emailed only 2 have emailed me back and 1 is out in SC. Plus they quit replying to my emails. So yeah I need them to give two squirts of piss about GOM!! On a different note!! My ex dani and I are becoming better friends again!! Im pretty geeked!! xo's amber

Life at home is is a drag... Its not bad but I cnat get my ink I cant model like i want. yet i dont have a place to go if i wanna move out. i know i piss and moan about this alot. Im sorry. Everytime my mom goes on my jade angel page on myspace she looks at the alt sites and just gives me the biggest look of disgust like why the fuck are you associating yuor self with that shit. then its everytime i wanna tell her what i wanna do that i wanna model on "thoes" sites. that it'd help me not feel like shit by seeing hey i could look hot naked!! I figure im going to saty around a size 18 because im lazy and dont know where i can go work out at or what exerciseing i would be into! only thing i would wanna do is work on my legs and arms. im proud of myself. ive only had fast food 2 times this week so far. I really hate eating out all the time. then the other day i made the best chocolate chip pancakes. a hell of a lot better then my moms. nice big and fluffy like a nice pair of boobs!!lol I was so excited!! that i had to go from a 34 a to a 36 a!! yeah they are that small!! anywho... what should i do with my mom? I really am getting the itch! Jsut be like mom I wanna talk to you about something. now just listen to me and dont say anything until im all done explaining what i have to tell you. then show her soem of the sites taht arent hardcore that i want to apply to? like starsgirls.com let me know what you think!! xo's Amber

Its been a few days since I last wrote. I'm sitting here watching Madea goes to jail. I love Tyler and his plays/movies. He always has a moral and old school tactics. Madea was sitting there talking to one of her nephews and explained how she breaks it down about how she classifies her friends. Leaves are basically the ones that come and go. The ones who you say hey that hurts me and they dont change what they doing. Theyre the asshole fakes!!They stay for enough time for you to learn something and theyre gone. Then theres branches. The ones taht stay around for awhile. then when you walk waya nd arent there they snap and leave you high and dry. teh posers. the ones taht act like yer bff and then screw you and leave. Then theres your roots. The ones who make sure you got everything you need. Theyre the ones who are your true friends. the ones who actually care. I gots a few roots. i have a lot of leaves and branchs. I think im gonna cut down my tree and keep my roots. SO Im gonan start w/ my phone and then get to cutting on myspace. It'll be bad but oh well!! People will get pissed but I dont care. I gotta grow my back bone this time! Say hey I aint gonna keep bad ppl in my life. I want the positive! No more drama or BS!! Plus I aint arguing w/ anyone on myspace!! thats stupid... mucho smooches! amber