Disposable's blog: "Some of my Poetry"

I proclaim it loud for all the world to hear and know.
I would shout from the roof tops, I am bashful though.
I shall say it everyday and time will prove it to be true.
"I pledge my life and heart a life to forever to thee."
These words I happily pronounce with joy and glee.

When you are not here with me the clouds come
and I know not exactly where they do come from,
but they are only driven back by the sight of you.
My heart races at the merest thought of your smile,
it gives comfort but makes me miss you all the while.


Exquisite example of feminine perfection that you are,
your lovely vision seizes my attentions even from afar.
It gains control of my mind and does does mesmerize.
With tantalizing skin so fair and lips as red as any rose,
the graceful lines of your chin and gorgeous little nose.


Your form as perfect as the falcon as he does soar,
no man on this cold earth could ever wish for more.
The soft way the sadness of life is melted by your eyes,
your lilting tones that like heaven's choir does enthrall,
it is not a single perfect thing about you, but them all.

The way you softly giggle and even your flowery scent,
Every single thing about you seems to be heaven sent,
as if you are my saving angel to make this heart repent.
The loss of the burden of life alone I shall never lament
if only to be my partner in life you would just consent.
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When first I gazed upon your perfect beauty true
the fact was plain that I would deeply fall for you
and as your loving ways soon became more known
I happily fell head over heels into love's deep abyss.
A wondrous journey that I am so glad I did not miss.

That such wonders could exist,I truly did not know .
The grand magic of love to me, you so freely show.
I am thankful for every little thing you have shown,
for it has taught me to see as well with my heart,
by me an all too often neglected and ignored part.

With your gorgeous eyes you can gently embrace,
so sensually it surely brings a blush upon my face.
I feel the warmth with your loving heart come to me,
with just a the slightest glance that shows you care,
mesmerizing me so that all I can manage is to stare.

Those eyes deliver unto me a kiss so very passionate
it marks my heart forever with your unerasable signet.
A kiss that I can feel but the world can not begin to see.
One that carries to my very heart and makes me shiver,
that other women can only dream that they could deliver.

Your slightest touch has such an all consuming effect,
sweeps over me like the crashing waves on ship wrecked.
The sensations that it unleashes upon my wanton skin
travel through my taunt muscles and hastily up my spine
until within an exquisite ecstasy my mind they do entwine.

When the worlds demands let us finally be together alone
you give more pleasure than any man could have known.
Opening up your precious heart, you gladly invite me in,
and there I am revel in your magic touch and company,
for these wondrous treasures are known by none but me.

Yes you have surely taught me that magic does truly exist
and is not just tricks of shiny mirrors and concealing mist.
You have shown me a wonderful world I had long dismissed,
one so heavenly that I am helpless to in the least to resist.
I felt it gravity pull upon me when with your eyes we first kissed.

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How does one write that which truly can not be written,
oh, just  to describe the angel by which I am smitten!
Words which seemed to indeed flow like wine before
and were sweet upon the tongue to savor and to taste
seem to be pale and in all, such a drawn out waste.

What word could describe the way you make me feel?
How can they portray such emotion and that it is real?
Every line grandly written compare to be such a bore,
when I think of the the way you make me heart sing.
How can one ever accomplish such a difficult thing?

Is it just that my mind is intoxicated by love's effect?
Does that mean there's a chance you are not perfect?
I fail to think that there is even the most remote chance
that such a gift from the heavens, so wonderful and pure
could be lees than perfect, of your perfection I am sure.

How can anything conceived by man hope to portray
even just your smile when you look at me that way?
For words have limitations describing just romance.
What good can they ever be in trying to let others see
the wonders of heaven sent perfection such as  thee?

I think that in the end it is indeed an impossibility,
and just a foolish wish of mine that others might see
the exquisite treasure that heaven has sent in thee.
Perhaps then love would in turn set their hearts free
and the world could be as happy as you make me.

////////////////////////////////
Let it come upon us and in buckets spill forth,
let it deliver showers to the south and the north.
Let it cleanse the earth of the filthy film of dust
and cleanse this place of all that fouls the air,
giving it a new scent by which we can compare.

Let us use our senses as they were truly intended,
notice the freshness of nature, the old now ended.
Sure it may bring some puddles and create rust,
but it gives life to so many things, so let it come.
Let it fall on all living things without missing some.

Let it be a warm enticing rain from deep in the south,
the kind that begs you to look up and open your mouth,
that like a morning shower, rejuvenates you once again.
The kind that lover long for and exploit at every chance,
they can walk and play in it and some will even dance.

Let it deliver unto us the hopes that newness can bring,
same effect that is caused by a new engagement ring.
Yes, open up the clouds above us and surely let it rain.
Let it give true promise to all it touches along the way,
that there will be a rainbow soon and a new, better day.

Let it water all the crops and relieve the farmers fears,
and reimburse them for their toil over the dry years.
Let it soak our heads and trickle downward over ears,
best of all for those like me, these tiny fluid spheres'
will allow us to go about and nobody see our tears.

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I truly wish to give a special gift to you,
one that will always make you smile.
A present that will let you know of love
and fill your heart with it all the while,
one that you know will always be true.

I wish to give a gift that like the sun
will brighten your day, make you warm;
like a eternal treasure from up above.
One that can protect when there is harm
and comfort you when the day is done.

I want to give you an awesome treasure,
to cherish and remind you always of me.
One that nobody else could ever give.
One that is as special as you, you see;
for you to have in times of toil or leisure.

One thing that you should know to start,
I am not a person of means it is very true,
it is all I can do to get the things to live
but still I will give that which I can to you
I give you now my lasting love, my heart.

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Love makes everything in the world seem bright,
it fills your heart with music only you can hear
and it make things feel happier and so very right.
Your pulses quickens every time they are near,
a tingling sensation races through you, to and fro.
Until you feel that your skin is has a constant chill
that feels like you are being hit with small wet snow.
It gives you a reason to go on, importantly the will
to see it through and commit even your very heart.
I know love to be all of this and so very much more,
for she was a cheater and tore that completely apart,
now I am learning love can be as tormenting as war.

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I often walk to help me clear my head
of all the trash that life gives me to think.
I find that it is much better to do instead
of sit in a crowded bar moping and drink.

I walked in the park on this fine sunny day
surprised to find that my mind did still race.
For all I saw as I went along my merry way
reminded me so of you and your lovely face.

The sun shed it's warmth on all is very true,
it does not select one upon which to shine.
That warmth reminded me very much of you
and how I feel since you you have been mine.

The branches of the majestic trees open wide
made me think of your always welcoming arms,
flung far open and beckoning me to be inside
where you could hold me tight with your charms.

The tulips that were planted around the lake,
of your seductive kisses so outrageously sweet
and how full advantage of my desires you take
to lure me in and make my life finally complete.

The happy singing of the birds so full of cheer
are among the sweetest sounds ever heard,
of your melodic voice that I do so love to hear
which makes me hang upon your every word.

The grassy path and wide meadowed lane
that beckon for one to rest and stay awhile,
of your open mind and how you will explain
any thought or plan with such a loving smile.

I stop and gaze upon a rose with delight,
with red velvet petals so smooth and red
and think yet of another wondrous sight
as memories of our love do fill my head.

All this beauty that nature has set in place
to woo the eye and make feel more at ease,
pale so when I think about your lovely face
and how you try so much to only me please.

Yes I am smitten and happily do I surrender
to such love as you do truly now endeavor
and I can only hope that is a never-ender,
I without fear give to you my heart forever.

If both of us commit and try the other to please,
stay strong and prove this is not just a lark,
then even when life has us in a tight squeeze
it will be as they do say, "a walk in the park".

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Christmas is over for one yet another year.
The time of celebration, family, and cheer
has passed again into a cherished memory.
Watch as family goes back where they live,
all the wishing so much more time to give.

A time to look back, inward, and far ahead
at what we have in life and what we said.
Are we truly the person that we wish to be?
Or are there changes that we need to make,
not just for others, but also for our own sake?

It all passes rapidly or so it truly does seem,
life feels more like it has been a long dream.
We have not accomplished all we set out to do,
but have done many things we never thought,
and are left here wondering "So now what?"

We know what will happen is what has to be,
pressures of living take a toll on you and me,
hopefully there will be time for some fun too.
All of plans it does seem are often for naught,
fate intervenes, this lesson has life surely taught.

So as you continue with life in work or in leisure
remember those people that bring you pleasure,
hold them all dear and their memory so treasure.
For what you can buy has never been a measure
of a person's life, love is the measure and treasure.

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Do not lay me aside or dare cast my heart away,
like I were a plaything that you tire of in a day.
Hold me ever so tight and keep my heart close to you,
I will give attentions and a love that is so true.

I seek not your everything just what you will give
and will be perfectly happy, as this life we live,
but if you should decide in time to give to me your all,
you will see I do not falter, I will never fall.

I ask only to be with you, please you happily
and I hope that in return you will do the same to me.
I want to give you all the things that you so desire
and speak tender loving words that set your heart on fire.

To lift my true Angel back up to the heavens above
and to always show you the true extent of my love.
If sadly though through time we find that your love has died
at least we will always know that we have truly tried.

So even if to some a reckless thing it may seem,
come along and take my hand and share with me this dream,
for only dreamers ever dare risk to reach the sky,
and I know that together we shall forever fly.

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Come my precious Love and walk with me hand in hand,
we'll stroll beside the massive sea playing in the sand.
Living our lives together as one entity and
it is as one that in this life we will make a stand.

Let us escape from this greedy world of push and shove.
Let us feast upon the fruits provided by our love
and dine upon the the coconut from the trees above
and till the fertile soil to enjoy the fruits thereof.

We will bathe within the warm clear waters of the sea
and frolic in the joy of the others company.
Leaving behind a troubled world to at last to be free
and I will bask in the warmth and beauty that is thee.

Let us build our house of sweet love high upon a hill
and place the light of our love there on the window sill,
to live there our lives away without a tear to spill,
protecting each from the pain and sharing all the thrill.

Come my most precious love and let us make history,
as we live our life away in love and harmony
and set forth an example for all the world to see,
may they find a way to be as loved as you and me.

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I have been told that I will burn in Hell
because I am not so sure it even exists.
I have been told that I will to heaven go
cause I am a good man with pure soul.
Either way the nagging in me still persist
and the reasons why I am here to tell.

I keep hoping that there is a God above
and that he will judge all those that live.
For if not what a shame for those dead
that died for words others say he said,
those who did their precious life give,
and did it in the name Him and his love.

Even if it means those that say I will burn
are right, this price I then will eternally pay
to know that that justice will be then served,
that the malicious got what they deserved.
That through death they did not get away,
and they will be paid back in kind in turn.

All those hypocrites that church attend
and rob others with price gouging ploys.
All who prey on others for profit or fun
will be paid back when their life is done.
All those who beat or rape girls and boys
or any others who upon them do depend.

If those that abuse their power in any way
and take advantage of those that are down
will have to atone for their actions then,
and it means that I too, for my great sin
of not knowing for sure, in torment will drown
to know they are there, it is a price I will pay.

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We are getting Sugar Snow today
the kind that is all big and puffy.
Flakes as big as ping pong balls
that stick to everything, even walls
they look like falling down so fluffy,
the kind that rarely seems to stay.

It does not come as a little flake,
rather as some orb of white snow.
As if it was assembled in a rush
in some project so very hush hush.
Did not know which way to grow
nobody there to decisions make.

What a wondrous sight to see,
a lovely gift falling from the skies,
momentary delight for one and all
who are caught there in it's fall.
A work of art for our cynical eyes,
a gift of childhood for you and me.

As it lands on your face and nose,
it melts so rapidly and then is gone.
As if it was an illusion so grand,
a slight trick of Gods great hand.
One of the tricks that he carries on
for reasons that only he truly knows.

It disappears with a sort of feel,
like a bubble bursting on you,
that leaves a wet spot behind,
so you can convince your mind
that what you saw is very true
and it was indeed really real.

Such little things in life appear
to make us feel much more alive,
if we will take the time to enjoy
and be once again a girl or boy,
forgetting things for which we strive,
for just a moment enjoy the here.

I am going out to play in the snow
and hope that you will soon join me
and we can laugh among these gifts
as they our sagging spirit surely lifts.
May through this life you always see,
the wonders that some will never know.

Notice the little surprises it does hold
and share them with everyone near,
make your life a joy as well as theirs.
No scheming plans or putting on airs.
Show them that they are so very dear
and it will come back to you ten fold

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In my youth I was a wayward soul
going where ever I did choose to go.
I have traveled this world full around
and there are certain 'truths' I found.

As I get older and upon this did reflect
a certain condensing pattern I did detect.
So before this life of mine is through
It is my wish to pass this on to you.

Each person is the hero in their life
as they endure the pain and strife.
When they their own story has told,
see themselves as suffering and bold.

All are very familiar with their own pain
which they must endure like pelting rain.
This sometimes make it hard to see
that other suffer more and needlessly.

Once I had a man hardily complain
about how his day had been a pain.
He had to sit and wait for long hours
to meet others in their ivory towers.

Nobody had to suffer more than he
in boredom waiting there impatiently.
In his mind this was what was real,
only his suffering could he then feel.

Yet out in the freezing rain that day,
I and others did slave our lives away.
Cold and miserable with muscles sore
until we just could not take any more.

Remember as you endure life's curse
that somebody else has got it worse
and this is true for every person here
except for one poor soul, I do fear.

There are others, if you look around
that are beaten to the very ground,
that would love to have had your day.
That knowledge may help your way.

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She stands alone upon the edge of the abyss
and gazes into it wondering what it does hold.
Will it the peace of death like some have told,
will eternal Hell be her reward if she does this.

She raises her head,glances toward the sky,
sees a shooting star pass there high above.
The irony of it all that there is a sign of love,
she shakes her head and ask herself "why?"

Looking straight ahead into the dark of night,
she sees one more time,that that angelic face,
that of the Devil that was the cause of disgrace,
she steels her nerves and readies for the flight.

She bends her knees, starts to push into the air,
but the rocks give way, there under her small feet,
she finds herself falling before her jump is complete.
In the black of night in the abyss and without a care.

Would she have done it or would she back away?
Many may wonder and none will ever know for sure,
for she had been a loving girl with a heart so pure,
making it impossible for anyone to for sure say.

Some will say that God did reach down and intervene,
to save this angel from the Devil's eternal, hellish grip.
others will say she made her choice despite the slip
and the truth may indeed lie somewhere in between.

Yes, I know the rhyme changes here. It was done to show it is "my" thoughts on what happened.

I am here to give you answers for I admit I do not know.
It seems a tragic thing to me that she should hurt so
she thought that death itself was a better place to go.
The truth, only God and the Devil (her father) will ever know.

I hope it was the God saving her the there in the end
for she had lived abused an without a single friend
one she should have trusted betrayed her in the end.
I hope he took her away eternity in heaven to spend.

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Oh perfect angel, surely sent from above,
let me forever sail upon your sea of love,
for it is only there, I feel I am truly free.
Let me bathe within your reflective glow
as through this life we do happily go.

Within your amazing warmth let me be,
as I commit my ship to your loving sea.
Let me prove that you are all I do need,
all I will ever want and so much more,
you make whole as nothing has before.

Let me stay with you always, I do plead'
and I will prove my love in word and deed'
Into your wet warm waters let me dive
and your pleasures freely give unto me,
for I will give back my all and so happily.

Let me tend to what you need to survive
and give what you want to feel truly alive.
Let me take care of you wants and desire
while your sweet love lifts me ever higher
and ignite the that sea into a lasting fire.

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There once was a man who was brutally robbed,
It broke his heart so that he just sat and sobbed.
Decided then that he would be a victim no more,
So he went out and got a hardened steel door.

He got heavy steel bars for every window there
and mounted them all with great zeal and care.
He built his walls so none could come through
and bought an alarm just in case they tried to.

With his fortress completed he relaxed within
finally safe from the whole world and all it's sin.
One day his brother came over for a short stay,
to catch up on old times and visit for the day.

He brought his son who was seven years old,
who listened well as about the security he told,
proud of all he had accomplished and bought,
then he asked his young nephew what he thought.

He looked up at his Uncle and hesitantly said,
"You have to stay here in prison until you are dead?"
The thought of it was making his nephew so sad
and he thought that maybe his Uncle was bad.

It was right then that he could suddenly see
the simple wisdom of children and how it can be.
Any stalwart fortress built to shield and protect
is also a prison for it makes it easy life to neglect.

As is true of your house so it is with your heart,
overly protected it serves also to keep you apart.
So protect your heart some as the is bad about,
but always be willing to let your love come on out.

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If words could do as they sometimes say,
I would send them  to steal your heart away.
Surely with one such as you for my muse,
to inspire my heart and help form my views,
I could of write of love like none have before;
silver words showing love and so much more.

Like Cyrano I would write such lovely prose
that were as beautiful as a dew laden rose
and send them out over the countless miles
to cause you longing and contended smiles.
Sweet songs surely would off my tongue roll,
professing your beauty both body and soul.

However words can never steal a lady's heart,
true words can show intent and that is a start
to perhaps unlock that love held so reserved,
besides a stolen heart would never be deserved.
One thing I have learned during my years of livin',
Love can not be stolen, it must be freely given.

You will give it to whomever you think is fit,
I can only hope that they honor and cherish it.
Will you give it away to some sly pretty face,
constantly looking for another you to replace,
or perhaps to this brutish fellow standing here,
who loves so and would always hold you dear?

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I am sitting here alone upon my bed,
our big fight running through my head.
Remembering the cruel things you said,
they fill my heart with pain and dread.
Like some horrific novel I have read.
My innocence I have shown and pled,
anger it seems jealousy has bred.
Through your anger words were fed
and my loving heart they did shred
and with it's pieces you have fled,
as in anger away you quickly sped.
Look at where those words have led,
our love is hanging by a thread,
all from the one I wished to wed.
God I wish that I were dead.

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I carry a wallet picture with me
because I love you so very dear,
it shows how proud I am of you.
I always want to keep you near.
I have it for all the world to see

A picture sets on the night stand,
the last thing at night that I do see,
and when my dreams are through,
it's there in the morning to greet me.
There is always one close at hand.

An eight by ten the mantle does grace.
One from a camping trip that we went on,
gorgeous in jeans and that old shirt too,
cooking breakfast at the crack of dawn.
Sitting just above the burning fireplace.

The living room has a portrait there,
hanging over by the doorbell chimes,
from when you were my bride to be.
My love you is so that there are times
I sit for long hours and lovingly stare.

A snapshot posted on the fridge door
of you and the children one fine day
a snowy day, so bad it was hard to see,
you bundled them up, went out to play.
That is a special one I will always adore.

None of them come close, you see,
to the beauty that I see constantly,
while you share this life with me.
I shall carry this image endlessly
in my mind for me to always see.


Okay, so some like happy, others prefer sad. Here is one that you can select the last stanza you like and as Burger King says"Have it your way".lol.



They are all just pictures, nothing more.
Nothing will ever be like it had been before.
I love you still, right down to the very core.
My beating heart from my chest you tore,
when I found that you are a cheating whore.

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I see you you looking at me as I sit here,
it seems to cause you some sort of fear.
I am different from you, it is so very true,
but there indeed is no-one just like you.

I beg "Oh come and sit here for a while
bless my day with your grace and smile.
Let's talk of life and where we have been
the horrors and the beauty we have seen.

We will tell stories of the glorious sunrise,
let me see the emotion there in your eyes.
Watching your eyes respond I will know too,
that you know what I say is poignant and true.

Let us talk of religion, politics, and even war
and be open with the other like none before.
We can speak of honor and doing what is right,
we can speak of sweet love and talk all night.

If there is more we have that we want to say,
we'll make plans to do it again another day,
nobody has a way of knowing, but in the end
it might please you to call me a dear friend."

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Oh great stallion upon the plain,
what a truly awe inspiring steed.
From the earth with sun and rain,
he seems to fill his every need.

His freedom begs,it in fact taunts
as he runs loose without a care.
He does whatever he truly wants
no matter when or even where.

He runs upon the mesas high,
or in the dry valleys far below.
Spirit of the wind, son of the sky,
he is it seems, always on the go.

What pushes him in eternal flight?
Moving during the rain and snow,
it haunts even his restless night,
buried deep, there in his very soul.

Soon his roaming will be done
this stallion,noble and so great
can at last enjoy the warm sun,
for he has finally found his mate.

All of us, like that majestic steed,
has that longing in our half-heart
Searching to fill that driving need,
until at last we find our other part.

Oh Angel heart, my lovely star
I stand in admiration for thee
not because of what you are,
but that which you make of me.

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If I could write a sonnet of your fair form and grace
and let others truly know how I feel when I see your face,
to tell the whole world of your virtues, of your grace and charms
and speaking of my lasting desire to be there in your arms,
sing to the world of you dear lady, how you are so fine,
would it indeed steal your heart away and then make it mine
or would you give it freely for these things you so desire,
would it blow the spark of interest into raging fire?

If I could write a poem that would truly make you melt,
that told of your beauty and the feelings I have felt,
write it all down in a truly sweet mesmerizing rhyme,
one that would be constantly repeated from now throughout time.
Would it make you love me to know that this is how I feel,
would it win your heart for me and then, with a kiss it seal.
Would you then want so to be with me always by my side
would I be the central source of your great joy and pride?

Then I think that there is something you should know from the start,
and I mean no form of disrespect to the poet's art.
If these things do have so much effect, look into your heart,
surely it must be a shifting thing of which I want no part.
If this could indeed be enough to rest your heart from you,
then surely there are others around that could do it too.
No, I am looking for a love that will be forever true
and stand the test of time regardless of what others do.

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I wish that I could believe the things you say are true,
that I could swoon for your lines like all the others do,
then I could truly be the happiest one on earth,
and think that you are the very reason for my birth.

I could without reservation give my heart and soul,
let my emotions run wild and free out of control,
let every moment be full of the wonder of you,
all these things I would do if I thought them to be true.

With you I think however that it is just a flirt,
to believe it would just lead my heart to awful hurt,
I must control my emotions careful what I feel,
for if the flirts are false the pain would still be for real.

I wish truly to believe especially from you,
just my heart is tender after all it has been through.
I do so hope that time and perhaps a deed or two
will prove these words you speak to me are meant and so true.

For that would bring the pleasures that love is meant to bring
and it would surely let my heart once more dance and sing
and then this happy heart I would gladly give to you
if I could only know for sure that these words were true.

Change-------------------------------------------------------------

When first we met you said to me that you so loved me,
making such a wonderful pair and so naturally.
You told me then I was perfect and wouldn't change a thing.
With this in mind, we grew closer and I gave you my ring.
Then you started complaining of little things that were wrong,
my hair was long, I weighed to much, I needed to be strong.

I changed these things gladly to try to so please you,
the more I did the more you wanted for me to still yet do
I lost some weight and gained it back at your desire and whim,
seemed that I was always to fat or else I was too slim.
I was never spontaneous and all I said seemed wrong,
once again I somehow summoned up the strength to be strong.

Then you changed the way I dressed and had me grow a beard
I did it all to please you though it felt so strange and weird.
You didn't like the same job that I had forever had
and you wanted to stop the things I had done since a lad.
Then you hated the dart team to which I did belong,
and for your love I still remained pliable and yet strong.

So it is that you come to me and say that we are through
You say I've changed, I am not the man that you once knew
Well know it's true that I am not, I am the man you made,
know you have bent and molded me,now I don't make the grade?
The lesson here, that I should have refused to change all along.
In retrospect I guess that I should have been more strong.

I merely wished to please you dear and to make you so proud,
but all of this was in such vain,you have broken what you vowed.
I am left here to attempt to recreate who I am,
If one says change, I'll let them know that I don't give a damn.
It is a shame that others pay for being strung along,
I know for this broken heart's sake, I must be more than strong.

---------------------------------------------------------

There is no denying that I know your heart,
I have seen it broke and rudely torn apart.
I have watched and silently I held my tears
and tried so hard to alleviate your fears.

I have been right there for you through all your life,
and have watched your struggles and all of your strife.
I held my feelings and yours I did assume,
to make sure that you, troubles did not consume.

I feel your great pain and suffer with your grief
and do what I can to give aid and relief.
I laugh when you are happy with a new love,
I am always there when push comes to shove.

I feel your sadness before you feel it start
and I do all I can to protect your heart.
Your joy brings me pain just like it has before,
but to know your sorrow hurts me even more.

You don't see that I am always loving you
with all my heart as none of them seem to do
yet I do know that until the bitter end
you will let me be no more than your best friend.

Writer's block--------------------------------------

I sit staring at the big empty white page.

My mind racing in an almost blind rage,
wondering what is it that I should write,
can I find the words to make it sound right?
Should I write of love or maybe of despair,
perhaps of some beauty beyond compare,
maybe a bit about the most unbearable pain,
or being so happy that you dance in the rain?
A lovely sunset or perhaps a hopeful sunrise,
about an old sage who is humble and wise,
the face of a baby with drool on it's chin,
or a terrible secret kept hid deep within?
why does my mind not settle or choose
seems an endless battle that I will loose
mysteries of my mind even I can't unlock
Why am I suffering from this writer's block,
have I been here a moment or a whole age?

I sit staring at the big empty white page.

Walls---------------------------------------------------

I am just another woman's trash it seems,
but you say I am the answer to your dreams.
You want me to open up and let you in,
to let it slip away would be such a sin.
I am trying hard to tear down these walls now,
even though I built them, I am not sure how.
It took so many years to build them this high
and it may years regardless how I try.

I know it is not right that you have to pay
for the crimes of the one that made me this way.
There is a problem I am not sure you see,
for all these things you say,she once said to me
and I fear that it will take some proof and time,
to get this heart broke again would be a crime.
I want you to stroll about, see what is real,
look in every corner,know how I feel.

I want it to be an open honest love,
the kind I hear is sent down from up above,
but she has trained me well to never believe
and took the key to these walls when she did leave.
So I am trying as hard as I truly can,
in endless hopes that you really want this man,
because then together we will make our stand
to face the uncertain future hand in hand.
I can only hope that patient you will be
and when all is finished, you will still want me?

Questions Asked-----------------------------------------------------

What is it about you that makes me want to just stare,
to forget etiquette and do it with out a care?
What makes me wish so to spend all of my time with you,
makes me cling on every word knowing they are true?
What makes my eyes blind when another girl passes by,
that makes me more gentlemanly though I do not try?

Why does it seem that you are constantly on my mind,
regardless what I am thinking it is you I find?
Why is it my heart races each time that you see,
and while I am your captive still I feel very free?
Why is it that you make think about tomorrow,
and always wish to never cause you pain or sorrow?

Who would have thought that this would ever happen to me?
What is this feeling that I feel racing over me?
Where is it that all of these emotions are leading me?
Why am I so lonely when near you I can not be?
When was it that this feeling came rolling up on me?
How am I suppose to think when you are all I see?

I fear there is another question to answer too,
the most important of all, "Am I in love with you?"

-------------------------------------------------------

Life it seems passes in stages'
it ebbs and flows with our ages.
All we can do is the best we can
to live with honor and be a man.
I have never been afraid of death
not since I drew my first breath.

Knew I would die by twenty five,
thirty years later and I am still alive.
In one way indeed I died back then,
creating a new me from deep within.
That was when I quit my warrior days,
starting what I call my living phase.

No more to roam without a care,
going places where none would dare.
To settle down and live a real life
with my loving children and my wife.
No more to see those exotic ports
or storm the walls of foreign forts.

Instead to stay and work the earth
and witness the miracle that is birth.
That stage too passed on one day,
it left as they aged and moved away.
The poet I now find myself to be
with songs and love inside of me.

With only the sage left to reach,
one where I can advise and teach.
Then my life will have been run,
my work here on earth shall be done.
I wonder if when it all is left behind,
if history will to me be cruel or kind.

I have been battered and scarred,
spirit and body both badly marred,
but I have done the best that I could do
to leave this a better world for you.
Still when this Marine has passed away
I wonder what will history have to say.

-----------------------------------------------------

She was short and fat and old,
big boobs that hung down low,
gray hair that was thinning too.
Wrinkled skin and feet of crow,
Most beautiful lady I could behold.

Grandma Ellis was all of this.
She was the meaning of "love",
every definition of it she was true,
what a gift from heaven up above,
enjoying life and spreading bliss.

Her kids numbered twenty one,
but she did not stop right there,
she took in stragglers like me,
gave them her ever loving care,
clean up until her life was done.

With food, wisdom, love and a kiss,
she taught what we had not known.
Part of her in my heart will always be,
for the kindness that she has shown
and for me a source of love and bliss.

I wish the world would have known her
like I had the pleasure of back then,
to feel the warmth of her accepting love,
changes the person you are deep within,
makes you show it to every Mam and Sir.

She has returned home, to heaven above,
leaving behind a memory of undying love,
the kind that most can only dream of,
it keeps me warm,protecting like a glove
in this cold, cruel world of push and shove.
--------------------------------------------------------
I can still taste the splattered blood,
that drenched my face upon that day.
It was mortal combat I found myself in.
There was nowhere to run to get away
as another blow landed with a thud.

I strike back wildly,trying to survive.
I can not see where my blows land
the blood,my eyes have blinded then.
Another crushing blow from his hand,
I check and find that I am still alive.

I must battle or I will die and so I do.
Praying for help or mercy from God
as the next blow my ribs do break,
but he sends not even a slight nod,
and I feel my life is nearly through.

I survive and remember it once more,
my life's blood splattered everywhere.
Me begging for help for heavens sake.
Tell me Dad, did you think it was fair,
to almost beat to death a child of four.