Disposable's blog: "Some of my Poetry"

You came into my life one day,
with beauty I had never ever seen
and swore that you would stay,
we would be a king and his queen.

You sang your songs of love to me
and professed them all to be true,
a song of how the future would be
if I would just stay stay with you.

Such wondrous words I would hear
as you wooed me with tender eyes,
slowly drawing yourself more near
until I felt you, much to my surprise.

Then a song burst from my very heart
a song of love, I gave it willingly to thee.
I swore that we indeed would never part,
for you were now the dearest part of me.

The ecstasy that swept me took over,
my heart had dreams of endless joy.
I dared to see you as my one true lover,
the way it could be 'tween a girl and boy.

It was then that you turned to go away,
had I done something terrible or wrong?
"Oh please come back!" loudly I did pray
unable then to stay composed or strong.

You turned and saw me bound there
within the love chains that I had made.
Walking back, I dared hope you did care,
that my love and tears did you persuade.

You reached and with a single blow
ripped my beating heart from my chest
and with it killed my now suffering soul,
I helpless in the chains could not protest.

"You gave me this forever, to do with as I will."
I watched as you put it on a necklace you wore.
then without even a backward glance to kill,
you walked out, leaving me there on the floor.

So I did sing my love song one time for you
and you left me battered and so very blue,
I wish my life had ended right there, I truly do,
but I am doomed to suffer endlessly for you.
-------------------------
I have spent this day just trying not to die,
I took a little time time to sit and cry.
Christmas is always such a hectic day,
with presents and paper every which way.
then there's always the huge family meal,
one more thing with which I must deal.
The grandkids did holler and laugh out loud
at the antics my son did for the crowd.

Through it all I have sat and did smile,
trying so hard not to die meanwhile.
I will not tell, nor will I ever let it show,
there is no reason they should know,
what all of the doctors have indeed said,
that this big tumor, here in my head,
will soon be the reason that I am dead,
I will not fill this day with gloom and dread.
---------------------------
When I think of you I can not help but to smile,
more than your exquisite beauty, grace or style,
for they can only catch and mesmerize the eye
and what I now feel for you is so very much more
than anything that I have ever experienced before.

It is more than the the witty things you always say
or how you always so easily chase the blues away,
More than the fact that you would never tell me a lie
or the way you make me comfortable and at ease,
nor the way you are always terribly easy to please.

More than the way that who I am is perfect with you
or the way you are willing to do the things I want to.
More than that we seem to share the same thought.
More than just because it feels like my heart has died,
I feel empty when you are not right there by my side.

It is not just the way that you make me much more
by just being there than I was ever capable of before.
More than anything that can be made or ever bought.
It must indeed be a wondrous blessing from up above,
that special gift that only a few find, it must be love.

-----------------------------------
Once I was told "You can be
anything you want to be!"
This I did take time to ponder,
it made no sense at all to me.

Could I ever be a child again,
without the beatings and pain,
is this possible I did wonder
and what would I truly gain.

What if this time I was loved
instead of beat and shoved,
this time if my parents cared
and I was indeed truly loved.

No state would take me away
making me an orphan stay
in a dorm with others shared
who saw the young as prey.

Not know rape and abuse
and every foul kind of use
To live a happy normal life
not one so overly diffuse.

Would I then have a chance
at finding love and romance
perhaps even a loving wife
and we could laugh and dance.

To not have the scars there
that so many people scare
to be like you normal folk
live without constant despair.

I can not be what I want to be
you all make sure of that, see
society wants me beat and broke
on that you seem to all agree

How can one who suffered so
dare think he is not far below
those of you who have it good
and always have you know.

I can not be allowed to stand,
be beat down with foot and hand,
not allowed in the brotherhood
of being just an ordinary man.

You can be what ever you see
if you are viscous enough to be,
have the money to pay the fee,
not born poor and nice like me.
-----------------------------
Why can't I be like normal people, is that too much to ask?
To not be scarred inside and out, is all I am wishing for.
It seems that if there is a God, he gave me Job's task
and then set me here upon this earth to suffer ever more.

I have fought great battles in life, both with arms and mind.
Have always been a man of honor, always a good heart.
Never is there the joy and peace, that I so hope to find
only more pain and suffering as if it is my assigned part.

I have been shot and stabbed, in the streets and in the war
have given love to have it betrayed, known almost every pain.
Yet through it all have been kept alive to suffer even more
and when I think it may be over, it starts up once again.

I have always tried to help others, but it seems when I do,
it sends a loud clear signal, that you are an easy mark.
People take advantage of you, it is sad but so very true
and it confounds me so and I think it would even Plutarch.

I so appreciate the little things, that some people do or say.
A simple thing like a helping hand or perhaps a random call
It seems that I have to, it is the most they throw my way
and if I did see their value then I would find no joy at all.

Is there something powerful that from before my very birth
decided I was a test of will, perhaps just time to pass,
as long as I am kept here, to suffer on upon this lonely earth.
Am I just a ant trapped beneath their burning focal glass.

Twice here on earth I died, but they won't let me rest in peace
A deity,powerful and  supreme, I could never hope to surpass
a man of honor I am bound to codes till my existence does cease
I will do what is right, and though I suffer, they can kiss my Ass.
-------------------------------------
 I need to write a happy poem, one that will make you smile.
One that paints an image as wonderful as a blushing child.
I need to write one that keeps you thinking for quite a while.
A poem as elegant and sweet as any bride to drive you wild.

One that will surely cause the imagination to work at full bore
creating unimagined things of splendor and exquisite beauty.
Work with every color ever known and then invent some more,
one that stirs the senses until you can taste it, rather fruity.

I need to write a happy poem that makes even grown-ups laugh,
perhaps one with a joke in it, a punch line being the very last.
Maybe one that describes a slip or someone's awful social gaff.
One were people will remember and think "That really was a blast"

A cheerful poem of inspiration, will brighten even the gloomiest day,
but how can I write such thing of with the beauty of fluffy, falling snow?
When deep inside my tortured heart there is only the dreary color gray,
no hope of ever being happy again, your departure was the final blow.
------------------------------------
I watch as reddish orange rays light the tree line,
giving signs of that the day will be full of sunshine.
The songbirds awake with the dawn,begin to sing.
Nature reveals for us all to see an exquisite sunrise
but it is not nearly as lovely a sight as your eyes.

Nature produces some of the most awesome shows,
beautiful clear skies and some mind boggling snows,
even at her worse, she creates a spectacular thing
for even her deserts and lava have beauty of their own;
none near as mesmerizing as what you have shown.

Men have been known to search their whole life,
enduring numbing hardships and so much strife'
in search of diamonds, gold, or some other thing.
I found my true treasure and I always hold it near,
nothing on earths more valuable than you , my dear.

Having such riches make you poorer each long day
as you worry about who will try to take them away.
It makes your heart numb like a shot of morphine,
as you horde and try to keep these treasures so cold,
I would much rather your love and warm heart to hold.

I have traveled and seen many great wonders, true'
the Taj Mahal and Mt.Everest to name a just few.
A more wondrous sight I truly have never seen.
Made by man or nature, it does not mean a thing,
unlike you they can not, make my heart truly sing.

The fact that you want me makes me even more
than I could ever be alone or in this life was before.
You fill me with hope where none has ever been.
I am hoping that you will forever share in my life
and do me the honor of consenting to be my wife.
------------------------------------
They have had time to eat their breakfast twice,
I say to myself as I slide into my thick jacket
"Don't you dare forget your hat" comes advice
from my wife,I reach and grab it off the bracket.

"Do not track snow inside this time." she adds,
as I open up the storm door toward the old barn.
I will admit I tracked some snow, one of my bads;
no worse than tripping due to random balls of yarn.

I know she does not think about it or do it for spite,
no more than I do when I forget to brush off the snow.
Just one of those things we do, knowing its not right,
it does no real harm and is hard to remember though.

Walk down to the barn along my already shoveled trail,
slide open the massive doors which I lead them through.
They slowly raise their heads out of their empty grain pail,
and I open the stall gate to lead him out through the snow.

I have a hand on his halter, but it really does no good at all
twelve hundred pounds of horse could surely have his way
if he ever really wanted to, he would fling me like a ball,
before I could stand up on my feet be near half mile away.

He lets me lead him where I want out of trust an desire,
for like a dog he wishes to please with almost his action,
unless there is some wayward danger that ranks higher,
or something he thinks is danger, but is a mere distraction.

I let him through the pasture gate and close it behind him
and head back to the barn to get my mare out here too.
I hear her whinny as I turn around, she does it on a whim,
for never have I had any reason to have to separate these two .

I bring her out the door into the brightness of the morning sun
and she prances with glee and snorts at sight of the snow.
As I let her through the gate, they both take off on the run,
kicking snow all over the place and snorting as they go.

A horse is so much like a dog, but most fail to notice
even though all the time it is right there for them to see.
They are both "group animals", aware of their status,
as long as we are dominant, submissive they will be.

Both just want to please us as they would the pack top
although both could for a while take over control or kill
unless it is an accident that they can not control or stop
or you are so extremely abusive, neither truly ever will.

I watch them flying through the snow, spraying up a cloud
of fine misty snow which catches the suns glistening ray
and listen to them fart and snort, both are extremely loud,
then they do a little sidewards buck and continue on their way.

They come running for the gate as if they will not try to stop
and then they slide through the snow and it covers them.
I watch and see their knees go weak and know they will drop
and then they roll over until they are covered stern to stem.

Yet another way they are so much like a dog, which will roll,
cover themselves too,then they will shake themselves clean.
Finally their joyful display seems somewhat under their control
so they start to eat their hay, later they will the other preen.

There are many ways to start the day, but this one of the best
for even though I hate the snow and all the work it always makes.
It is worth it to watch the grandchildren,dogs, horses, and the rest;
I will sadly do all the shoveling and not complain for all their sakes.

I see Mama has been watching it intently from the picture window
and even with my failing sight can see her smiling from ear to ear.
They seem to get so much satisfaction from it, I wonder if they know
just how much their romping in the snow fills our hearts with cheer.
-------------------------------------------
Once there was a mighty man, who sat upon his thrown
and all that he could see or touch, he could call his own.
The world was his to command and always get his way,
upon his thrown he decided that he would always stay.

He soon found that he missed life as he sat right there,
so many adventures others had, he never got to share.
What good is such a throne if a prison it does become,
he decided it was not for him as life he wanted some.

So he arose and planted both his feet firmly on the floor,
in his regal manner he strutted toward the closed door.
Determined to go into the world and live life once more,
greeted the world again as he shut the bathroom door.

alternate:
he would see his computer for spells, but never like before.

alternate:
his couch and TV were great, but life offered so much more.
----------------------------------
You said you would love me forever
that I could just wait and I would see.
That the passage of time would prove
your endless love and constant fidelity.

You said no man could tempt away
or by force ever stop you from loving me,
that your true love was forever endless
all I had to do was wait and I would see.

So I gave you my heart to always have
and blindly surrendered my love to thee.
Thinking that forever life would be grand,
as starstruck lovers we would live happily.

I guess forever is not even nearly as long
as I had foolishly imagined it would be,
you have gone with a man, pretty and rich,
not wanting anything more to do with me.

You knew what I looked like from the very start,
had said that riches could never win your heart.
I thought forever meant forever, not a small part;
maybe the reason you left is, I am not too smart.

----------------------------------------------
I once was asked a question, a simple one for most,
posed to the group by our more than gracious host.
"Who is your hero?" he had asked loud and clear.
Some gave a very good answer of their Mother or Dad,
but many of them gave ones that made me very sad.

My mind went racing forward to a long bygone year,
danger was present daily and death was always near.
My memory of it to this day is still so sharp and keen.
Young men doing what they felt they had to bravely do,
protecting the life and freedom of people much like you.

My plight was as a sniper and I was proud to be a Marine,
and I was attached one day to a squad that was so green.
I was to drop off in the jungle to hunt another sniper there.
They went along the appointed route, scared and all alone,
not accustomed to this war into which they were thrown.

We started by a rice paddy with the jungle lurking there,
it gave a shiver up my spine that stood up my every hair.
Then gunfire erupted from the greenery,quickly killing two.
Every Marine hit the deck not wanting to be the next dead,
more than a couple with their hands covered up their head.

The paddy was bobby trapped, it's something they use to do,
so that your fear would lead you there, letting them kill you.
I heard the first mortar coming and knew what it did mean.
The trail had been presighted to send death from up above,
all of these men would go home dead to those that they love.

What happened next is something that must be truly seen,
and is a living testament to what it means to be a Marine.
I stood and yelled at them to get up and charge the hill.
That  laying there not only mean that they would have died,
but also meant the death of their friend there at their side.

Every one of them, each as scared as they could ever be,
even the ones that fear had caused to shit and even pee,
stood and started  up that hill into that dark green wall.
Each Marine summons up what he had to save his buddy,
and we left five that day on that hillside wet and muddy.

Every Marine had seen the other as they died and did fall
and knew that it was for them, that they had given all.
Each one had been paralyzed with confusion and with fear.
All of them had overcome it to save the other's life,
so that they could go home to their mothers or their wife.

Being brave does not mean that you do not know fear,
it is the ability to overcome it for the others that are near.
None of them got a medal or recognition for that day.
They were just doing what was expected of them there,
but that day is one that made a brotherhood they share.

So pardon me if I look at you in a most peculiar way,
when Micheal Jordon is your hero, you do stand to say.
I do not know the names of my heroes from that day,
but each and every one of them finds peace, I truly pray,
for they lived and offered their life for another on that day.

SIDENOTE:

We went off to an unpopular war not with a public cheer
and returned to hippies that called us names and did jeer.
I can only hope that when a soldier takes up arms for you,
that you treat them with the respect that such a feat is due
and welcome them home again when their duty is through.
--------------------------------
Was working in cellar on a broken chair
when I had to turn around, I saw her there
my pretty little angel that I love very dear
and as I watched she did slowly draw near.

She seemed to hesitate with every pace
and had a sad look upon that lovely face.
She raised her head, looking me in the eye
"I have to talk to you, cause you never lie."

I wondered what could bother one so fair
as I reached for the almost mended chair.
It was good except needing a binding rung,
"Why the sad face on one so very young?"

I sat in the chair and tested it would stand,
and then I held out to her my calloused hand.
She climbed up on my lap trusting it to hold
and I almost cried with the story that she told.

The kids at school were making fun of her today
and the cruel, vicious things that they did say.
Teasing her to tears that day, it was all because
she was still pure enough to believe in Santa Clause.

She looked up at me with those wanting eyes
she needed to know the truth, not a lot of lies.
I steeled my self to do what needed to be done
"Yes there is a Santa and I'll prove it , little one."

"Santa is a stranger that gives gifts to boys and girls'
he does not worry if their hair is straight or in curls.
he gives to them in hopes that it will bring them joy,
and expects not a thing in return from any girl or boy"

She agreed that my definition was true so I went on
"Remember the tree that has all the paper stars upon
that is in the stores at the mall when we shop up there?"
She shook her head in agreement and with a blank stare.

"Each of us take one and buy the gift that it does say."
she answered me wondering why I brought it up this way.
"Do you know the child that will receive that gift you bought?
Is there any kind of reward from them that you have sought?"

"I know there is a Santa Clause, millions around you see
for everybody is one that returns a gift there to that 'star' tree.
Know there are Santas make me as proud as  I can ever be,
for I have one right here with me, sitting on my own knee."

"Perhaps those other children that teased you so today
just do not know who Santa really is and so it may stay
for there is nothing that you could ever say or ever do
that will get them to see the Santa that is alive and true."

She smiled at me and laughing up the stairs she ran
like a mystic creature from lore, we all know as Pan.
Her head peeked back down the cellar still so very glad
and said"It is okay, it will be just our little secret Dad."
----------------------------------------
I have never written one and am not sure that I have all the principals in place. Advice welcomed.


Only snow to own
            happy with my heart of stone
                                        like the cat alone


The king stands tall
          the fate of leaves in the fall
                                  he should now recall


Man may claim the land
            but when his time is at hand
                                  others there do stand
---------------------------------------------
I toiled and worked to make enough to live,
no thought to all, that each day I had to give,
just to make the things my family needs,
but ever mindful of every one of my deeds
to make sure I live a life of honor and pride,
and have nothing from my children to hide.
So I close my eyes until the morning sun,
my daily race in life has again been run.

My life it seems has been given for others,
not the way I would, if I had my druthers.
I went away and fought in a foreign war,
so they could not set foot on our shore,
until finally so weakened and nearly lame,
home to profane curses and jeers I came.
So I close my eyes until the morning sun,
my daily race in life has again been run.

I found a good woman and a tract of land,
determined here we would make a stand.
I gave it my blood, sweat, and even tears,
working hard for many of my short years,
until she said that she was finally done
and off with a rich man she did surely run.
So I close my eyes until the morning sun,
my daily race in life has again been run.

I have worked hard to raise my children,
to protect them from harm and any sin.
Tying so hard to provide their every need,
teach them to avoid such things as greed.
One by one each has grown and gone away,
leaving me all alone at the end of the day.
So I close my eyes until the morning sun,
my daily race in life has again been run.

I have lived in honor and kept my small pride
I know I am a good man, still here deep inside.
kept to my principals never casting them aside,
used them all the time as my trade I have plied.
None will ever say that I gave up or have not tried
and I hope I am so remembered after I have died,
As I close my eyes never again to see the sun
my race in life being over and completely done.
-----------------------------------------
The nature of Love

Before going to bed, I looked out my big picture window last night
and marveled at the downy snow, making a fluffy blanket of white.
Then the clouds slowly parted and the moon it's beams did spread,
creating an endless sea of diamonds and the most perfect sight.

After a little while I continued upstairs to my warm, comfortable bed,
but was awakened later to the sound of rain on the roof over my head.
I realized it would melt the snow and in a way it made me rather sad
I had wanted to watch the new day with it, but it would be gone instead.

I thought of how this first and momentary snow had made me very glad
and of the effect upon my heart it's exquisite beauty, so easily had had.
At last I drifted back into a slumber for the rest of the time I had to dream,
I knew this memory of perfection would remain through the good and bad.

I came down the stairs to face what would be a dreary day it did seem,
but through the picture window sun's first light soon did begin to stream,
and proved me be so wrong in all that I had thought I knew about the day,
before me I watched nature create a sunrise of which one can only dream.

The sun was rising slowly and before it topped the trees with it's brilliant rays
it sent a reddish-orange flood of light that beat back the rain's depressing haze.
Relentlessly climbing into the sky, it seemed to push the clouds out of the way
and delivered the most awe inspiring sunrise, causing me to watch in a daze.

I could not help but to think of all the beauty I have encountered  along my way
and feel an uplifting sense within my heart to start this new and hope filled day,
for such a wondrous gift delivered for me to watch from the heavens far up above
a show of natures constantly changing  ways and grandeur there put on display.

That sunrise made me think of many things that day in a world of push and shove
as my mind wondered restless, eventually I began to see the true nature of love.
A relationship must be symbiotic if it is to endure the test of time, so unrelenting,
one must always give as much as they take, the other to always be thinking of.

For if one takes more than they give, the others love will find itself slowly starving'
if it continues too long, it will die and leave alone the one who was always taking.
A taker is just a parasite and it's host will in the end die, 'less it can be rid of such
an unavoidable outcome as nature shows in so many examples there is no denying.

Love is a living thing;as flower needs the soothing water and the suns sweet touch,
love gets it's strength from both you and them and from neither one way too much.
Like the flower getting only one, it will perish by way of burning out or it will drown
the two of you surely see yourselves as one, being there together even in a clutch.

Love is always changing it does not stay the same for long, like nature or a town,
it will change what love feels like, each perfect like the snow that had fallen down
became the wondrous sunrise, so different yet so very perfect in it's own unique way
and both of you can wear your love for all to see, as if it were a shining new crown.

I know my humble words are feeble compared to what is in my heart this very day
and there are no words that can express the things my heart would truly like to say,
but I wish that every one of you could know the nature of love and I will always pray
that you shall always hear "I love you" often and that it will guide you on your way.
---------------------------------
I can not help thinking "What a wondrous day it is today"
as whistling a happy tune I continue merrily upon my way.
My old truck lays a useless heap back there on the road
and I continue on foot for miles to reach my simple abode.
My pockets are empty so that is less that I have to pack,
and I do not own much more than the clothes on my back.
I have worked hard all my life and never seem to get ahead,
and know that I will have to until the day I am finally dead,
but there are some things in this life that make it worth while
and I just got a big one that is the reason I wear this smile.
The sun is shining brightly with it's always determined intent
creating as much heat here for the world, before day is spent.
The humidity and heat does not hinder me as I hurry along,
just skipping and dancing with the words as I hum my song.
The road glistens as if it was with diamonds carefully made,
each placed to catch and reflect rays when not in the shade.
The pebbles here on this grand gravel path where I do roam
hurt my poor feet with each step as I head for my dear home.
It is not a big place, some might think it a rundown shack
with a single long story and a small covered porch in the back.
This lovely place of mine waiting there patiently just for me
with a well mowed lawn in front and one massive oak tree.
The birds seem to join in my song as down the road I do go
livening the chorus with chirps and whistles as if they know
the reason the world is such a wondrous place on this day;
those three little words, I longed so to hear, you did finally say!
Three small little words that mean so much from one so true,
you kissed me good bye as I left and sweetly said "I love you!" 
----------------------------------------
I got up early this day because I found I could not sleep
and went out to my wife's grave, her company to keep.
I walked the path with eyes closed, as I did know the way
Sitting on the wet grass into me the cold began to creep,
alone there in hiding darkness, I suddenly began to weep.

There was not yet even the slightest hint of coming day
nor of the joys or sorrows it would soon bring my way.
There upon the dew soaked grass a shiver through me ran.
It was dark, cold, lonely and miserable, I will have to say
so much like my life, it seemed,since she had gone away.

It felt I was condemned to be a lonely, lonely man
and the very thought of it, was more than I could stan'.
The emptiness prevented me from knowing what to do.
I was too distraught to even hope, let alone to plan,
memories and thoughts of her, through my mind ran.

Time passed while I thought and before I even knew,
the first rays of the morning sun began to shine through.
It seemed as if through the clouds and trees it did bend.
It shined so bright and sparkled on every drop of dew,
and heralded in this wondrous day, then to start anew.

A shining source of light on which we can always depend,
giving warmth and hope to help our broke heart to mend.
It was like a message to help me with my pain and strife.
To remind me that this moment is nowhere near the final end,
and I must keep on living for those, who on me much depend.

Then I heard the chirping of birds and all forms of wildlife,
singing joyous songs I had not heard, although they are rife;
sounding like the sweet melody as played upon a dulcet fife.
It seems that even though she is dead, she still gave me life
and I know that I shall always treasure, her my darling wife.

-----------------------------------------------
I walk slowly onto the long high bridge
and perch myself upon it's safe ridge
looking into the black waters below.
When I am gone who will ever know?
None will care when life is through
all now show that they never do.
What is the sense in continuing on
with no love and all hope being gone?
The water seems my blessed relief,
from all this suffering and this grief.

As I stand prepared to let myself go
into the rushing waters down below,
I hear the softness of a faint sound
and see a kitten there on the ground.
Such a small and helpless thing there
with no-one to love or remotely care,
a half starved orphan in a cruel place,
the saddest of looks upon it's face.
I lean over and pick it so gently up
and on my hand it begins to sup'.

How can I leave it all alone there
in a world that just does not care,
to slowly starve and die all alone
with nobody ever to call it's own,
ignored and starved life through
this cruel thing I can't stand to do.
I clinch it tightly to my warm chest
and decide to do what will be best.
The only question left for to solve
jump or home? I steel my resolve.

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The poem itself is meant to be representation of life in it's presentation. With structure within each pair and yet different from the next, like the days of our lives.Unrelenting, continuing on with no breaks or rest, sometimes no time to think. Yet amid all this the reader is to discern the meaning of the poem, much the same as we search for the meaning of life.


What is the meaning of life, so many seem to wonder
so upon this subject one time, I did sit and ponder.
I wish I had found the answer to share with all you,
well guess I could say it, although it would not be true.
My thinking led me to a thing that you might know,
but I feel compelled to express it here to you though.
I know that this great mystery has been well explored
and very often thought of by some 'til they were bored.
Wise men in their towers have battled without ever a clue
and tried in vain to solve it, their entire life through.
The powerful and rich so badly wish to truly know
so they would have one more way to all of us control.
I think that the answer has at times been known well,
although by how many there is no way to ever tell.
We all can have an epiphany, every living, thinking soul,
it is not the sort of thing that is within our tight control.
I am sure it has been known, not by those in towers high,
but perhaps by the peasants laboring in the sun near by.
There are so many more of us that live from day to day,
it seems so clear that one of us found it along the way.
I am sure that they would have gladly shared all they knew,
and it would have passed down until it got here to me and you.
I think it must have gotten lost somewhere along the way
in the daily struggle to make it through yet another long day .
Their mind soon pushed it aside and stored it way in the back
for the time to write such things to share, it probably did lack.
It was so consumed with thoughts of what had yet to be done,
and the schedules it must keep before the day's race was run.
So the secret to life was lost yet again, I honestly do  feel
because with the daily problems, this person had to deal.
What is the meaning of life, you and I may never truly know,
but the person working next to you may have found it though
and because the boss yelled at them or they had bills to pay,
that long sought secret, by the mind was quickly stored away.
Think of this as you gaze upon the face of those toiling near,
they may have known the dearest secret you could ever hear.

I did shorten it from the original and allowed it to follow a straight course, which life does not always offer us.

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Shattered!         

When a child is born there is so much hope and glee
with a future so very full of every kind of possibility,
But it seems that fate has come to rob it all from me
and left me here in this gloomy place called reality.

Never again in this sad life it would definitely seem,
with shattered hopes and dreams strewn all about,
to see a kind of truth come of any part of life's dream
of never to see the slightest joy there is no doubt.

Yet I go about day to day with my head held high
and shall continue down this path until the day I die
and then perhaps I can dream a sweet dream of you
and perhaps then "that" dream can at last come true.

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Oh to be truly loved is such a wondrous thing
it makes the blood run fast and the heart sing
to have the one you love be so in love with you
is all you could wish and every dream come true,
Days and nights forever lost within their charms,
safe and always wanted, held inside those arms.
There in this Heaven eternity you would spend
and love every moment knowing it won't end.

And to have lost at love is such a painful Hell,
one that is so terrible that words can never tell,
with never ending torment that tortures you so
and grinding doubts that will never let you go.
Each day a test of your fading strength and will
every night the loneliness moves in for the kill.
Yet you survive to be tortured yet another day
and it seems forever to slowly go on this way.

But I am here in Purgatory and am here to stay
for unrequited love has made my life this way,
never having the awesome feeling of the highs
or the painful lows that everyone does despise.
Days filled with longing for what might have been,
filled with sad visions of a love you've never seen.
Like the love that is not returned life truly is just
a hollow empty shell, but continue on I must.

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Let me lay down beside you with my head upon your breast,
Or if you would rather rest yourself here upon my chest.
Let me gladly listen to the problems of your hard day
and hang on the lilting tones of each word you say,
touch with that wondrous touch that only lovers know
and melt away my worries as I rest within your glow.
My rough hands are longing for your soft, smooth skin
and there are untold passions burning here within.
Lets spend a day here,locked in each others arms
as I am completely lost in all your gracious charms,
and making love until the world has no more deman'
and we are content, you my lady and I to be your man.
Let me sate your every longing and every hot desire
let me be the inspiration as you burn upon my pyre,
one that you have built of love and then you have lit
so warm yourself with me and forget life for a little bit.
Then we can rest once more within each others arm
vowing to always keep the other from any type of harm,
let us live a life together making sure it does come true
and have a happy ending as we are one,for me and for you.

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Thee!
I am awestruck as I look upon you just standing there
such a sight of beauty that none could e'er compare
I am mesmerized as I gaze into those gorgeous eyes
and even after all this time it is still a great surprise
the feelings they send through me as my body shivers
my heart beats even faster and my bottom lip it quivers
for just the sight of you turns my mind up side down
and I stand there looking sad and acting like a clown
for oh so many sunrises have beat upon my long face
and traveled far seeing life in all it's worse and in grace
yet still you make me marvel at the very sight of you
you so seem to be the answer to every dream come true
I could compare you to an angel but none have I ever seen
I might try the heavens as my thoughts I do try to glean
but all fall short and not a thing ever could start to compare
with the what I feel and see when I look upon you there
for how could such things ever hope to start to compete
as I gaze so lovingly on the one that makes me complete
I know my words are simple and seem to be a mess
but I have no way to articulate your wonders I confess
and yet I feel so compelled to make this feeble try
knowing that such is an impossibility by one such as I
so over taken by the feelings that rage inside of me
all brought to a boiling point by just the sight of thee.

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I was going over an old memory of mine and wrote this down. It is still rough, but suggestions are welcome.


Why don't people go away and leave me to my sorrow
for me there is no long sad night, let alone tomorrow
why do people stay around here to watch me grieve
when it would help so much if they would only leave
they can not know how it hurts to lose her this way
there is nothing they can do, nothing they can say
my heart, ripped from my chest, a void is in my soul
and all they do is chatter in attempts to console
I can not count the times I heard somebody say
"I really think that things are better off this way"
and that 'It is all part of an unknown greater plan"
I have had all the consoling that my heart can stan'
I know that they all mean well and have so truly tried
but can't they feel my pain and see the tears I cried
I always thought that we were one, nevermore to part
and now that she is gone and so is part of my heart
why don't people go away and leave me to my pain
for I shall never heal a bit til I am with her again.

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I professed an endless love
one that was forever true
like the life of stars above
and then offered it to you

you cast a glance at me
and then turned right away
it knocked me to my knee
the things that you did say

For a husband your too poor
you need so very much more
and too ugly to my lover be
not the type for others to see

but I am afraid that in the end
you could only be a dear friend
Taking my heart you did sing
as you slipped it on a string

a trophy there for all to see
as I in tow would always be
and there it was always worn
when you cooed or you did scorn

I spent my time being there
in good and bad times too
as my heart you did wear
and me, still so loving you

I saw you so misuse men
and then throw them away
making each pay for sin
that was yours that day

until my own heart shattered
unable to heal or mend
and I knew what really mattered
I could not even be a friend.

So now these things I know for sure
regardless of beauty seen by most
you are too ugly with a heart impure
too poor with no one left to care
not seeing what should matter most,
that is why I sadly left you there
I gave my time and heart it seems
to one that chases selfish dreams
and they are as wasted in the end
as the one who once called me friend.

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I could say "I love you"but what would it really mean,
to say that to someone that you have never truly seen.
I could say "I want you" and that would indeed be true,
but would be based upon the you I thought I knew.
I have seen your pictures, marveling at the view,
so mesmerizing that I wish to stare the whole day through.
I have chatted with you, hanging on your every word,
the things you say are the most wonderful ever heard.
Each of these things truly have an effect upon my heart
and I know that I so worry, because we are so far apart.
But still I can not help but wonder if indeed I do love you
or if it is just a case of so badly wishing it were true!

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I wrote this back when those protesters were going to the funerals of soldiers and yelling that they were glad they had died. I titled it : A Soldier
A soldier fights, a soldier dies ....
a family mourns, a widow cries....
some will praise what he bravely did....
and honor the memory of this valiant kid....
some will say, "oh what a shame"....
and within the week forget his name....
some will say its all for naught....
not thinking of what his life bought....
some will spit upon his grave....
and criticize the life he gave....
but he chose this path,not on a whim....
he fought and died for all of them....
To those that at funerals do protest....
saying that all soldiers they detest....
You may curse at those that mourn the loss....
in the name of him upon the cross....
he that re-attached a soldiers ear....
he did not curse, he did not jeer....
you say you know how he would feel...
that he would hurt instead of heal....
I think that only time will tell....
and surely you will burn in hell....
for if you think the Lord's that way....
a heavy price you'll eternally pay....
and as that soldier watches from above....
his aching heart still filled with love....
then you'll know and you will see....
that he did it all for you and me... .

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I set my eye on the horizon and treasure I did seek.
I traveled around the whole wide world and did it once again.
On an arduous quest filled with excitement, rapture, and pain.
and each new place that I went, would my anticipation peek.

I have broke bread with lowly paupers and dined with supreme kings,
have kept the company of sages so very smart and wise
I could see the history of the long ages in their eyes.
I've had the pleasure of witnessing so many wondrous things.

One day a very wise old lady I had met asked of me
"Tell me sir, why is it that the expanse of the world you roam,
when what it is that you truly seek is only there at home?"
and she was right as she could be, it was there that I found thee.

Of all the wonders I have seen, from the miracle of birth
to the vast untouched landscapes where very few have ever been,
to the libraries of books and precious treasures I have seen,
I have never found one as wondrous as you upon this earth.

So it is that my roaming I have happily cast aside
and there is only one place where I now can be always found.
I no longer feel the need for searching or running around
for you are my everything, my life, my joy, and my pride.