Ok since I have been busy with life I thought I would write more about me and how I became a dad. Keep in mind im not here for points or “pats on the back” this is just more insight to the person behind the “nickname” in 98 after being split up from my current girlfriend for a few years. I decided to move on and brave back out into the dating population. A friend suggested phone chat lines which were popular at the time so I gave it a try. For the most part I enjoyed the experience, it was a fun way to socialize with others, eventually I met Pamela and we talked several times and she seemed ok, she had kids which was a 1st for me but I figured I had settled down so dating a woman with kids wouldnt be so bad. After a while we agreed to meet, she had invited me over for dinner. Dinner went well, to be honest if it had just been the two of us I would have continued my search. But the two youngest kids were there Gregory age 8 and Mariah age 6,and they were so adorable and well mannered that I decided to give it a chance. Before long I was spending more and more time doing things with the kids. Pam was lazy and although always invited she would usually stay in one place while the kids and I would do things. For example going to the zoo, park, arcade things like that. It got so I enjoyed spending time with the kids more than I did with Pam. And the kids liked spending time with me more also I read them their favorite stories at bedtime, made them breakfast in the mornings, picked out their outfits to wear, walked them to the bus stop in the mornings, helped them with their homework. Simple things like taking them to blockbusters to pick up movies made me the greatest guy in the world to them. Needless to say movie nite became a weekly thing. eventually I met the oldest daughter Tara age 13, who lived with her biological father at the time, a 2 time felon recently release from prison :-( she didn’t seem to like me much at first. I discovered later on that prior to meeting me Pam was dating the guy..after a while Tara began coming around more often. One movie night Tara was there and wanted to spend the night although her dad was suppose to pick her up that night. Tara confessed to Pam that her Dad was doing drugs and that there wasnt any food or much of anything at his place. She also said that he tried to leave her with drug dealers till he returned to pay them but she refused which resulted in her getting whipped with a belt. And that the night before he was drunk and tried to climb into bed with her and that was why she didnt want to go with him anymore. Pam brought me in and told me all that and I looked Tara in the eye and asked her if that was what she had told her mom and she nodded yes. I told her that I wasnt going to let her father take her out of my site ever again. And for the first time she jumped up and hugged me. Her dad never came to get her that night he called and I spoke to him on the phone and informed him of my decision. He wasnt happy and made all sorts of threats, but he never came by or tried to see her again. Months went by and we were a Happy family. Then while out of town, I received a call from Pam’s mother who told me that she believed that Pam was using drugs again...news to me...a few days later after I returned I had promised to take the kids and pam to six flags the next day since I had never been. I went to bed early to rest up for the drive and Tara woke me up at 2am because Pam was gone. I sent her back to bed and waited up for Pam. When she arrived she was drunk and admitted to not only using drugs but cheating with a fellow addict and to going out and blowing the money I set aside to take the kids to six flags with. I packed and walked out that nite. Tara was upset that I was leaving even though I told her that I would still keep in touch with them and for several days she would call and leave messages on my machine telling me how much she hated me. One day there was a murder in my building and it just so happened that not only was the guy tall and black like me but he lived on the same floor as me. Tara called me that night concerned that it was me, we talked and she filled me in on how things had deteriorated since I had left. The other guy moved in and was very abusive to pam. Greg and Mariah were going to be sent to their biological dad who wanted nothing to do with them and whose father had molested Tara when she was little. And that Tara now had a boyfriend. Who I found out later was 18.the next day I called pam and got on her case about it all. Told her the boyfriend had to go, Tara’s bf had to go, and that she had better not get rid of the kids and that she needed to get clean and be a mother to them before she lost them.. She promised to quit doing drugs and clean up her act but didnt a few days later I got a call from Tara the police were there arresting earl, Pam was picked up for prostitution and the kids were being taken to a home. I visited Pam in jail and had her sign custody of the kids over to me, which she did but I still had to go to court to get the kids placed into my custody it took a few months but eventually I was granted temporary custody of all 3 kids. It meant having child protective services and social workers and assigned counselors closely supervising and checking on the kids whenever they felt like it but I did it. I had lots of help from Pam’s mom, her sister, as well as my family but pam continued using and in and out of jails, rehabs and institutions until 5 years ago when she finally got clean and was granted joint custody. So that is how I became a dad and why my kids are so special to me and why im so proud to be a grandpa.
