Some1special2k's blog: "Some1special2k"

Slowly I rise from the rubble of my shattered heart And survey the damage from being blown apart With tears in my eyes and no smile on my face what was once full of life now seems a desolate place When asked I say “just ducky” or even “I’m ok” But I’m really not since my love went away! I try my best to carry on and be the usual “me” But the smiling, happy, jokester you’re never going to see My hearts completely shattered! It’s never going to heal! I’m sure you have felt similar, but you don’t know how I feel! I have issues from childhood, scars no one can see Trusting people not to hurt me has never been easy for me. It made me unemotional, scared to show joy or pain So it couldn’t be used to hurt me, over and over again. By adulthood I was a hermit, never letting anyone in. Until the day I met her and she became my friend We both had similar childhoods and alike in many ways She showed me how to feel again and ended my hermit days To her I was some1special, something I had never been. I loved her with all my heart and that will never end For 3 years I stuffed my pain, as she slowly pushed me away I changed my look, worked out, and prayed with me she would stay. The bright eyes and smile that greeted me whenever I came by Was replaced with a frown and a panicked look of “why” Just giving me hugs now I could feel her grow tense. Being bothered by my mere touch made my pain too intense It wasn’t an easy choice, but her happiness meant more to me I told her that I loved her and if she wanted that she was free I gave her time to think about things, to figure and decide Deep inside I knew the answer and since then my heart has cried 3 months short of a year. My heart is still in pain :-( I’m really trying my best, but I can’t believe in “love” again So now I just exist, doing the only thing I know to do. Just a single poet trapped in a world built for two written by Some1special2k

Locked in a dark closet for hours on end Burned with curling irons and stuck with a pin Beaten and pinched hog tied in a chair. Arms twisted, face slapped and pulled by the hair. Threatened and warned repeatedly not to tell. What some call childhood… I called hell! If I liked something it was used to make me cry Felt like I was hated and didn’t know why I wanted you all to like me, I never refused Mentally, sexually and emotionally abused I’m a grown man now, I survived those days Still I’m haunted by the past in so many ways I’m a broken hearted, battered spirit who never learned to dream I’m not like “normal people” or so society makes it seem I went thru hell and yet kept my soul in me because I’m a Survivor and I will always be! written by Some1special2k

Im just one of many soldiers in the jungle of life my notepad is my rifle, my pen is my knife medals from my battles decorate my chest but the scars on my heart remind me best with determinatio­n I keep on marching, boldly facing whatever comes my way I reflect on the battles survived and embrace the current day I ignore whatever pain at times I may feel I smile at friendly faces and hope someday to heal Battered, Heartbroken and Hurting Yet I go on doing, never acknowleging­ defeat proudly marching like a soldier till my tour of duty is complete written by Some1special­2k

well for the most part im very open and honest but I am sort of a private person. I am who I am and dont try to be what others want me to be. im happy with myself so if folks cant except that then its mind over matter...I dont mind and they dont matter..one thing that surpises many people is that im a country boy, although I have lived in the city since i was 12 im still very much the country boy from the mountains of West Virginia. still where a cowboy hat now and then and yes I do tip it for the ladies, I like horseback riding, camping, rodeos, and I can two step with the best of them lol most of the time I listen to country music but I love all music except for Gangster Rap. I think the ability to use a lot of profanity shows a lack of intelligence, vocabulary and artistic talent. but thats just my opinion. I was in the choir as a kid and learned to play several instruments I love God and Gospel music, I can sing but havent done so in public for a few years now. im very much a gentleman, I hold the door for females, I respect my elders and address them as "sir" or "maam" to me a handshake is as good as my word. im usually in bed early and up by 5:30am even on my days off. I collect knives and swords and im a damn good shot with either a rifle or a pistol...grew up shootin snakes and for those who know you dont get many chances there. I proudly served my country as a Marine and would defend her anyday but I'm not a violent person and can usually talk things out without going to blows...but if I have to fight I will. there are only a handful of guys I trust 100%! as for everyone else I put faith in them day to day but tend to be cautious. I do have issues when it comes to trusting folks but it has kept me alive. I think im a good judge of character and dont request to be friends with just anyone. I do however give everyone a chance to be my friend if they choose. im not here for the points or to be popular, im not here to have hand to glad combat while looking at naked photos, but I do enjoy browsing /rating photos and being able to view a womans beauty. at times I am very flirty depending on my mood but not very often and most people know im just kidding. I dont feel that im very attractive on the outside I have a lot of scars from over the years, but inside I feel im the most beautiful person in the world. I am in a relationship but dont talk about it much. we have been together for a long time, I have never cheated on her and for the record im not here to be a player. I loved her from the day I saw her and she still has my heart. fact is if it ended tomorrow it would be a very long time before I could even think about getting back on that horse. I have 3 non biological kids that I raised and love as my own.and im unsure if I have biological kids both of those stories would make an interesting blog lol. I like writing poems and short stories and usually post my poems to share with others.

Mr. Right won’t always tell you all the things you want to hear! Cause Mr. Right keeps it real, he is honest and sincere Mr. Wrong doesn’t care so he can lie if he needs to. By the time you realize he lied, he’ll be done with you. Mr. Right takes his time cause he plans to stick around. Mr. Wrong wants to rush things, he only wants to lay you down. Mr. Right may have baggage because he does the right thing. Mr. Wrong doesn’t commit to anything; to him it was just a fling. Mr. Right wont make any promise he doesn’t plan to keep Mr. Wrong will promise everything; then later laugh while you weep. Mr. Right isn’t always the best looking or dressed in the finest gear. Cause Mr. Right isn’t selfish or vain. If he is comfortable he don’t care Mr. Wrong is usually fly with all the best brand names. Paid for by other woman, just trophies from the games Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong will always compete over and over again Mr. Right will always lose and Mr. Wrong will always win! Written by Some1special2k

Sometimes I don’t care if I live or die! Everyday is pure hell since we said goodbye so many reminders everyday and everywhere eighteen years gone without a care just her same make of car brings a frown to my face if it matches the model my heart I must brace. make model and color my face I must hide. cause I cant hold back the tears from my eyes. constantly checking email and caller ID. praying each time that she would contact me. after work I race home, just to break down and cry. everyday is pure hell and I don’t even know why! Written by Some1special2k

well I havent really been online much or blogged in a while so guess I will just give a brief update on my life..last few months have been tuff pretty much made myself a lone wolf at work for doing the right thing. kids have been into smoking pot so they spend most of their time at thier moms where they dont get lectures about it...hell shes a crack addict and gone most of the time either drugging or in another rehab. been with the same woman since 1990..she still takes my breath away but we havent been doing well and actually broke up last week :-( no fault of our own just issues from both our childhoods but we are trying to save "us". just another reminder to myself than nice guys and girls always finish last. so my hearts broke, along with my spirit just been going thru the motions of my routine life hoping and praying things will get better.

Hi there Just wanted to wish Happy Mothers day to all the Mom on Fubar. Hope you all have get treated special today as you all should be everyday.

today I lost my best friend, my cat ringo! just a pet to some but to me he was like one of my kids. I came home and found him sick so I rushed him to the vet. he had cancer and his kidneys were shutting down. I held him as he was put to sleep :-( I loved you Ringo RIP!

this morning I woke up and turned off the alarm... I realized that I didnt have to get up as early as normal.. so I rolled over to get another hours sleep then i remembered that I had forgot to place my cellphone on the charger last night and had left it in the kitchen so I got up, opened my bedroom door and went into the kitchen as I was returning to the bedroom..an electric heater I keep on in the bathroom shorted out and caught fire. I quickly yanked the cord unplugging it and was able to put the fire out before it could spread. the floor and wall were slightly scorched but otherwise undamaged. I dont know what would have happened if I had not gotten up to grab my cellphone but I know that it would have been a lot worse if not tragic or fatal had I not done so.