The mirror
Every morning as I gaze into the shiny glass of the mirror that stands above the sink, I almost shed tears because of what I see.
I don’t want to use the term “ugly” yet not beautiful at the same time. I cringe when I realize that I don’t have what it takes to be liked, wanted, or loved. I lose my heart to guys that act interested in me, yet they are not interested in my mind or my heart. Only in being sexual for one night. I always feel used after that act of sexual pleasure is over, and the guy decides he wants nothing more to do with me. Yet, I always seem to repeat the mistake of thinking that it will be different. It’s me that get crushed in the end. Heartache and heartbreak are the most familiar feelings that I have felt. I cannot remember the last time that I have been “happy” in my heart. I have fully given my heart away and watched it be torn into a million pieces when he decided he did not feel the same. I don’t think I have ever been trusted with someone else’s heart. Never held someone as he cried, kept his secrets listened to his deepest thoughts. Never had the joys of being his last call, or goodnight kiss. Never been someone’s better half, and love of his life. Never been “the one”. Still wonder when I’ll find the boy who will open up to me, show me what it’s like to hold someone and have him hold me back. Someday I will be wanted for my thoughts, conversation, ambitions, soul, character, and heart. Then maybe I will look into that mirror still mounted so perfectly, and see a girl who is so happily in love, satisfied knowing that just outside that room is the boy who have her his everything. And a smile will appear on my face like no smile I’ve ever had before.
