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One day a household-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied "What does your shirt say?"
He yelled back, "OHIO STATE"
And they say blondes are dumb.
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A couple lying in bed, the man says, "I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you."
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you
call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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A man and his wife,
now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary.
On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because
they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger....
Whoosh...immediately he turned 90!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little
boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What do you
call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
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