ok let me tell u who i am, its not all good but i still think im a good person some may disagree and thats there choice.
i love and love deeply if i care for u, u know it. sometime i love to much. Im not good at housework or bill paying. i am a bit on lazy side dont see much point in working too hard it all gets messed up anyway basics is good enough for me. I cook alright but out of boxes. Im forgetful.
i love my daugther with all my heart and she turned out good in spite of my downfalls as mother. oh yeah, i have very little self esteem.
even though deep down i know im good person, i think bad about me overall. im not religious, never will be. i beleive in more because of the miricles around us.
but i dont beleive in religion.
i do have days i dont want anyone around me and i have days i want to be held all the time.
i never got the drug scene even though im type of person u got to try it to knock it and i tried it didnt like how they made me feel.
not much of drinker, dont see point in getting drunk but really beleive what others do is there business as long as it doesnt affect me and mine.
ill admit to being a bit selfish but i try to put others first. i not person that wants the world but i do want a part of it. i have spent grocery money on a book i wanted to read and i insist on buying me my weakness underwear at least every other month.
i would love to have a place that is mine again. i want to travel some just to do it. i want to be a priority in someones life and make them my priority and ocasionally come first. i want the more. im lonly and hate being alone. i want to take care of someone and have them take care of me.
i love my mother and dad and the rest of my family they dont understand me and probably never will but for most part thats ok. i try to be who they want me to be and fail but thats ok too.
i have spent most of my life trying to fit a mold that just aint me. im not sure who i am yet but i know im not the person i have pretended to be.
i always wanted to write but to take the time to do it the only way i know how would mean cutting off my family so i dont do it. i have discovered recently that i love working in retail just hate working for ppl that think on only bottom line.
i actually and its shocking to me and probably any one that really knows me like smiling and greating ppl and i really mean it when i say have a good day. i like the interactions with the customer. i like to think that my smile makes someones day brighter could be wrong but like to think it anyway.
i have been told my smile is good one. but still have issues with my looks that steams from being overweight. i think im pretty but fat and i do have bad teeth.
thats me who i am. i hope to eventually find someone that accepts me as i am. but dont have much faith in that happening. and if it does, i have habit of saying and doing the wrong thing. usually, from trying to pretend to be somthing other than myself.
im shy person basically i use humor and sometimes dirty humor as a mask to hide my shyness. i tend to not know how to act in many situations, dont know what's the "right" thing to say or do. social situations scare me but im working on it.
