well where to start never bloged before lol. ok ill start by the truth. some is on my page. i have extreme insecuties. tonite i got on cam for someone the first time he lost net. right after, no problem right. wrong, i look at everything as someone not liking me. ok he lost net i give him that but he didnt get back on yim where we were talking. he was quiet in sbs with me. ok he could have been busy but wasnt to busy to flirt in lounge with everyone else. so in my mind, he didnt like what he saw. i left cute sb saying bye to a really nice guy that i enjoy spending time with and probably just because of my own insecurties. and not just him but a whole lounge of ppl that i enjoy spending time with. y because im messed up. i never felt good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. been thru two marraiges that pretty much messed me up even more. i been working on this issue for a year now but its like i take a step forward then two back. i spend most of my time when im talking to someone trying to see what they want from me because i know they cant want to talk to me for just me.