Quirky Grandma's blog: "krazy's lost it"

"I'M A BITCH, I'M A  LOVER."

 

You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
tried to tell you 
but you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath 
innocent and sweet.
Yesterday I cried, 
must have been relieved 
to see the softer side 
I can understand 
how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

[Chorus]
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you woldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that 
when I start to make you nervous 
and I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

[Chorus]

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm an angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

If i put myself out there and get to know u and start talking to you. do me and you a favor if u dont have time or desire or even the will to at least try to let me in. then freaking move on and leave me alone. If u cant make me a priority, dont let me make u my priority. Dont play games with my heart. It cant take much more. I dont want to the white picket fence but i love easily and can and have gotten stomped on because of that. Read my about me that is what i want. adding to that im lonly and miss having arms around me. im complex, im all that and more. Im not asking for a ring but i am asking if u want me to make u important have the decency to make me important as well.

"All I Really Want"

ALANIS MORISSETTE

Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter

And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm so relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker

And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around...all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?

Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need know is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer

All I really want is some peace man
a place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice... 

Im in great lounge with great ppl but i feel so alone.  I try to get involved but since i left for couple weeks its just not same.  I know its me just dont know what to do about it.  its like i dont fit anymore.  i feel like this everywhere and not sure how to fix it.  great song i cant get no satisfaction.  that describes how i feel so perfectly.  not in any way anywhere.

Maybe ill just disappear. 

I got job, make enough to pay the bills and occasionally eat. i work i come home and get online. where i got some "friends" does any of them actualy care idk they seem to disapear quickly. going to bars and such doesnt work for me im too dam shy. only ppl i know is family and the KIDS I work with. and one or two older friends that call me every now and then yeah they male and usually when they call its to see if im up for booty call. which answer is usually no. admit in past i had said yes out of sheer boredom and blahness. there is mike and he is wonderful man most times but he has his own issues to deal with. i guess im just in whinning mood and if u have unluck to click on this blog im sorry.