well he calls and said i forgot her shoes can he go get them at moms or me bring them to him i said to go get them
i go to get her and he wouldnt let me have her said the magistrate said i was neglecting my child.
pulled her from me when i went to hug her so i went up to the magistrates office and they gave me temp custody and a protective order against him til we go in from of the family law master and he only has set visitation til then. He's not alowed to contact me in any shape or form or be anywhere near me. He has to go through my parents to pick up my daughter.2 counties went up with me to get her.
How in the HELL can i be neglecting my child?? She went over in a footed sleeper. He has shoes for her at the house. He says I'm not spending enough time with her on my days off or i'm at work etc. HELL AT LEAST I WORK. And then he says well I aint gonna be the babysitter so she can go party and whore around. Well dont you think that when he has her what I do in my spare time is none of his business???????? I'm not subjecting my daughter to anything wrong at all. I provide for her, I take care of her, she is safe even when I'm at work because she is with my mother.
See y'all on the 9th
I'm going up today to get my divorce packet. My best friend is going to help me fill it out. I did one when divorcing my ex 7 years ago, but the dang things have changed and Shell will be there for support too while I fill it out. Shell has stayed by me even when he would be so damn nasty to her I would stay away to keep from him trying to hurt her feelings or anything else. She has stayed by me. I love Shell to death and I can truely say that even though she and I have only been friends for 8 years, she has been the bestest friend in the world. Even more so than my so called best friend of 21 years (btw, she is no where to be found...hasnt been in a few years other than a , oh hey how are you when I see her where she works at). Even though she tried to tell me I was making a mistake marrying him in the first place, she still stuck by me and has always told me when I was tired of the B.S. she'd still be right there for me. Thanks Shell I love you and you don't know how much your friendship means to me ( I know I'm saying this here and she doesnt come on Fubar, but I still want the world to know how good of a friend she really is and how big a heart she has.)
On a sad note though, I lost one of my grandmas to a 6 year battle with bone cancer yesterday afternoon at 2:45. I love you grandma and you're in a much better place than the rest of us dealing with this bullshit world. You're on the home stretch now Grandma!!!! I Love you, & See you soon!!!
How can he be so frigging stupid....oh and he said "why are you losin weight for, I never see you turn down food now u do. Whats goin on." I'm like uh hey dumbass i need to lose the weight, or did u forget u were calling me lard ass 2 weeks ago? Now I've lost 10 pounds and u r complaining? I can't win for losing. ooh and lets see, I'm a horrible mother because I worked all last night, and I came home to sleep. Yes its my night off tonight, but I still was very tired. I didnt come right in and play with my daughter at 7:30 this morning, I laid down. So I'm horrid, no good, and lazy cause I didnt clean house this morning too. WTF!!
He was goin up on the hill few minutes ago and says "i love you" then got pissed when I wouldnt answer him. Or when he was talkin bout his tree stand i ignored him and watched scooby doo. ITS NOT THERE FUCK NUT!!!! Is what I want to scream at him. He just doesnt fuckign get it!
I think he is starting to suspect something isnt right. I took some more of my stuff to mom's. He comes in,looks around and is like...what happend to all the clothes on the dresser? I was like Well considering they are summer clothes, I took em to moms to store in the attic, I'm not putting them under the house. He was like, well anyother time u wouldnt have done that, so why now? LOL I just answered "cause i felt like it"
All he has done since he got home from his buddy's is fight with me, or at least try to when I refuse to acknowledge he's said a word to me.... Now I just gotta continue building the strength and courage needed to get out.
I started movin bits and pieces of my stuff to my moms attic. Stuff that wont be so noticable at first because its stuff i had stored under the house. But its a start. I'm tryin to hold off til after christmas because it is the holiday season. Dunno if I'm gonna make it that long bein in the same house with him though. He's driving me crazy!
I friggin hate him. I know you're not supposed to hate people. But he is one person I can say i truely hate.
but he's manipulative, possessive, controlling, jealous. Hell I cant even go 1 day without him saying "so who'd u fuck at work today". Until a recently (he still doesnt know) I had never cheated on him. But I finaly did it. Hell I'm tired of feeling like a dead fish on the bed. He doesnt do it for me. Hasnt for at least almost 4 years. And I know now because it didnt bother me or make me feel guilty that I dont love him and I want out. But yet I still friggin feel trapped.
and on the possessive/jealous stuff. Get this. we went out 2 weekends ago. A guy I knew from the bar we went to (my old hang out) and his buddy were up by the bar when i went to get butthead a beer and me a pop (I was the DD..as always). When I went to go back to the table, my friend and his buddy were like " dont let her through" and laughing and said "We're just fuckin with ya " and all and I laughed went back to the table. Hubby was about to go after them and his buddy had to pull him back down in his seat. I was asked who that guy was, how many times had I fucked him and same with the other one. After that if I would look around he'd get pissed and accuse me of lookin at the guys again. I had to practicaly sit and stare at the table to avoid a fight!!! Plus he swears up and down I want to screw his buddies.
After 6 years of being with him, 5 bein married to him I'm tired of it. I amd So TIRED of being treated like a piece of no good garbage. Yeah my recent indescretion does not make me the best person, but he's 10 times worse than me. If he was such a caring loving individual I would never have wanted someone else right? I just wish I could get out of this feeling of being trapped and get the hell away. I know I can go to my parents temporarily til I can get my own place. Not my favorite place bein i'm used to bein on myown, but I know i could til i could be out on my own with my daughter.
maybe its the fact that i know the past stuff he has pull and he's crazy enough to give me a fight over my daughter. Scares me knowing , especialy from ppl who know him, what he's capable of. I know there are things as restraining orders and such, but it also aggravates me knowing how much I'll hurt my daughter too who's use to seeing her daddy 24/7. He watches her while i work, she acts like him and mimics everything he does. If he's rubbing snuff, she acts like she is too,etc. Daddy's sidekick. And I still want him to see her, but I'm scared of hurting/damaging her with a break up with him, but at the same time scared of hurting/damaging her by staying.
UGH So friggin confused on what to do and when to do it. I hate to do it now with it bein so close to Christmas..so I'm tryin to get pass that.....Just scared and for some reason feeling trapped..........ugh! I hate life...why cant it be easier to make decisions?