Since I've moved back to NJ, my sleep patterns have gone to,well, sh*t.
I blame utter boredom and non consistent work for that.
A few nights ago I was watching "Easy Rider".
It's a good movie,albeit depressing at the end.
I've never really wanted a motorcycle, as it's not me The idea of having all your possessions in the world with you and long stretch of highway looming in front...sounds wonderful.
Of course, it's a dream like every other one..so nothing will come of it.
However, it's tempting to throw some clothes in a bag, take the kitties with me and just leave. Where too, who knows? Honestly who cares?
There's really no binds that restrain me.Yes, my parents are here but I'd always maintain contact with them. Other than that...what's keeping me here?
A career? Love? Niet times 2.
I've always had wonderful ideas and no fruition.
I guess that's why I dream *day and sleep* so. It seems that in those thoughts, things seem to click. It seems to me that dreams is all I have.
I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. Or watch faces scroll by on Fubar, flip through 200 channels of infomercials,900#'s and get rich quick schemes.
Nothing maintains my interest long.
When I was younger, I figured I'd have the American dream, the wife, the 2.5 kids, the mortgage and so on.
So many dreams and looks towards the future.
G0d, what happened?
I live the American nightmare. No prospects for work, a lonely existence in a apartment that resembles something from the cold war era East Germany.
So yes, the idea of getting in my car and leaving sounds fabulous. But in reality I'm going nowhere...literally and figuratively.
