Feeling a bit blue today. I think it's because I want more out life. Maybe I haven't discovered what my self worth is, or what my purpose in life is. I know a lot of people haven't , but I don't want to be one of those people who grows old and bitter at everyone else because they lack what the other person has. Maybe I'm just down and that's the only thing that sticks in my head.
What I do know is that I eventually want something for myself. I need some kind of substance. Which is probably why I keep going to school. I put something in it, and it gives something back to me. It's the feeling of accomplishment, discovery, and interaction with people who are on the same boat as me. I know to some students and professionals this may sound trivial but it means everything to me. I work hard at what I do and I enjoy it. Without that feeling I'm not myself.
My problem is I lack motivation, I need to be pushed. It's always been my problem. Not just school but life in general. When I am pushed to do something, I work hard and I can do great things.I know a lot of people are proud of me, and that makes me feel good, but I keep feeling like something is missing or it's me who's missing out on something.
"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval". - Mark Twain
I know when I do start school I'll be feeling a bit like myself again, but it's always going to be the irritating unanswered question in the back of my head
