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Okay, how do you know that you have made a difference anywhere no matter what? Don't get me wrong I have done lots of things for people and they have no idea that I have been the one to do it. Have never went out of my way to receive any type of acknowledgement. I am not that type of person. I am happy to just be able to help, when I am able to. 

Except how long do you put other people ahead of yourself? When do you realize that you are also important enough to have stuff done for you? See this is when I start asking myself am I important enough for all that? Why should any one person care enough for me to want to? What makes me special?

I help people to a fault. I will put myself out on the furthest cliff hanging by my toe nail, when any minute I could plummet to my death, just so I can help someone else accomplish what they need or want to do. Coming out of all of it with a smile on my face because I love helping people. Except I think that I may have lost pieces of myself after awhile. Now I am not sure if I can find my way back to me. Nor am I sure I would even recognize myself if I did. 

Who am I really? If I found myself again, would I like who was in front of me? Would I be willing to change my world enough as I know it now to get back what I have lost? Once I did this, would everyone else like who I found? Should it matter one way or another in either direction?

Maybe someday I will figure that out. Tho I don't think that day is going to be today.

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