October 8, 2007
I promise not to hurt you. I may not have the best past, but I want to change. And I will. I'll do all I can to make you happy. I want to give you all you want and need. I'll be there for you anytime you need me. I can be your ideal woman. I just ask that you be there for me, and that you don't hurt me. Someday I may give you my heart, please don't break it.
I think I've fallen for you. You make me so unbelievably happy, it's surreal.
Do you feel the same way?
My guard is still up, help me bring it down. Tell me honestly that it's ok to open up and just be myself. Let me know you are with me for me and not some other reason. but if you are, or things change, just be honest. I don't ask for much, only basic things.
I've never really been a faithful girlfriend to anybody, but I want to change that, starting with you.
I'll love you the best I know how, and try to show you a great relationship to the best of my ability.
I want to be that girl that things work out with. Am I thinking too far ahead?
There's so much I have to work on, will you be there for me as I make those changes? I hope so.
I thought I had the perfect guy. Then I realized my life was really fucked up. I was drinking, taking pills...I didn't have custody......Things were falling apart. I want to give up, but for some reason someone fell into my life that helped out a little bit. Things went alright for a few weeks, then i'd fall back again. Usually it was a guy issue, and I usually ended up in the hospital. Life sucked. I felt worthless, medication seemed like a failed experiment because what they had me on didn't work. The longer this cycle went on, the more I fell deeper into the spiraling depression that was becoming my life.
Then one day after a hospitalization, I found the rooms of NA and AA. For once I felt like I could talk about how my bipolar and drug&alcohol dependency tied together. I wanted to put my life back together and live clean and sober and get my kids back. I realized the only way I could get them back into myl ife the way I knew was right was to be totally drug & alcohol free. I wanted clean time, and I wanted a good life. Then i started talking to someone who made me realize what I needed to do and said they would be there for me thru it all. I was stunned and I had always pushed that away in the past, but now I welcomed the help with open arms.
