A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head screams ENOUGH!!! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. Your sobs begin to subside and you begin to look at the world through new eyes. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change... or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings or beginnings and that any guarantee of "Happily Ever After" must begin with you... and in the process acceptance is born. You realize that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that is ok. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and being proud of yourself... and in the process a new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you or didn't do for you and you learn tat the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process you find safety and security of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings... and find a peace and contentment in forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been engraved in your head. And you begin to sort through all the junk that you have been fed on how you should behave, look, weigh, and what you should wear, do for a living, what you should drive, where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you truly stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to throw away the values you have outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.... and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. That there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not outdated things that hold us together but, the foundation upon which you must build your life. You learn that you don't know everything, its not your job to save the world. How to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO!!! You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry!!! Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that alone does not mean lonely. Also how to stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly ok.... and that its your right to want things and to ask for the things you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. Come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balance diet, drink more water, and take time to excercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty and so you take time to rest. And just as food fuels the body laughter fuels the soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve. Anything is worth achieving and is worth working for and wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone.... and its OK to risk asking for help!!!! You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to waste it living under a cloud of fear. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that your not being punished by karma its just life happening how it is supposed to happen. You learn to deal with evil around you. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people on earth can only dream about a fully stocked refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, heat and air conditioning. Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less then your hearts desire. You make it a point to keep smiling, and trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. and finally with courage in your heart you can take a deep breathe and begin to design a life you want to live.
