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***DISCLAIMER** These are strictly the views, beliefs, opinions and again, OBSERVATIONS, of the writer. (ME!!) Say, think, believe what you want, I don't want to hear it. Consider this your ONLY WARNING that some, may not like what I have to say, or have stated below. In other words, KEEP YOUR HATEMAIL TO YOURSELF, I WON'T BOTHER READING IT!! You have been warned. Read at your own discretion...****
These are strictly observations, and I'm in NO way, judging anyone, or trying to "bash" (well, maybe a little) anyone, I do have friends that are of both groups mentioned, but read on, and maybe you can really get an idea of why I say the things I do.
As many who REALLY know me, I'm rather open, and proud, to be an "anti-Juggalo" and I have also made it abundantly clear, that "God" is not really in my "things I believe in" aspects of my life. But, I'm focusing more on the issue of well, Christians who feel that if you don't believe, then you're ignorant, and deserve to have a bunch of contradicting theories and fairy tales crammed down your throat until you do and if you still don't, you should burn in "Hell"....
Well, I've also observed, that "Juggalos" have adapted a similar way of thinking. These people gather in groups, paint their faces like these dumb couple of social misfits who do the same, and call themselves "wicked clowns" and actually started this whole mockery of a mass quanity of like minded people, to start shouting ridiculous cries of "whoop whoop" and "Mad Motherfucking Wicked Clown Love" (MMFWCL) as well as spraying a cheap drink and drinking it like it's their "Kool-Aid" or some dumb shit like that, even making it seem like it's "their drink".
People, let's be fucking real here. This is ridiculous, in ALL aspects. How do I see the similarities? Why would such people want to join a dumb, anti-society, only to follow a couple of morons who rap about stuff like swinging hatchets at people who don't agree, or are not one of them? And so much to compare this to supposed "peaceful" and "loving" religion? Simple... these two ass clowns (not by any means "wicked") actually are openly.... CHRISTIAN!!!
I've run into COUNTLESS Christians who would argue with me, about why I'm "the Devil's spawn" or a "demon" simply because I don't share their beliefs in an imaginary, non-existent being. I'm sorry, but in NO way, shape, form, or reasonable thought, has made me even begin to believe that there's something up there besides clouds and air....
Most, (not all) Christians I've seen, or have run into, have given me a bunch of different theories and this and that of what they think, or what 3 authors, have made up, in 4 different languages, and ALL in 1 damn book of mindless, contradicting babble... to which there's really NO scientific proof of... Not to mention, the MANY different ways of how people came about, and who died, and for what reasons at at the hands of whom. Does anyone REALLY know for sure? Was there anyone alive now, there then when all these fairy tales, magic stories, and theories supposedly happened? No, I didn't think so. Now, members, or people who have joined this religion (which I have NO problem with their choice what so ever) tend to take on this way of thinking, that if you don't believe, then you're ignorant and "refuse to open your mind" or "close minded" or even "against the Word of God"... Excuse me?! I'm close minded? Aren't Christians supposed to be a peaceful, loving group of people? But, in the same sense, if we're not Christian, then we're to be condemned to another non-existent layer of a fiery pit of eternal damnation where we should once we're dead, in punishment for not believing?! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SENSE DOES THAT MAKE?!?!?!?! What the FUCK kind of "peaceful," "loving" and "forgiving" are you a part of?
Now, back to the other group of people who have (at times) proven to be penciled in for a repeated swift swing to the skull with a hammer... Juggalos. Let's not forget, yes, I do have some friends that deem themselves as a "Juggalo" or "Juggalette", so, don't think I'm talking about every one that does, but, a vast 95% of these people, really need some psychiatric therapy. Or the already mentioned hammer remedy. I have also observed the same exact way of thinking, and behavior, and other types of acts or behaviors, from members of this group of anti-social misfits. Before you all say, "you don't know what you're talking about" or "stop hating" or (as most would annoyingly type) "y0 sHUt yo fUkKin m0uf, dIz da f0 reEl ShyT!"...
Anyways, let's define this idiotic term, "Juggalo": Started by two rappers, Insane (ass)Clown Posse (ICP), formerly known as the 'Inner City Posse' started a following, naming each follower, as a group, "Juggalos". This group usually identifies one another as "ninjaz" or "fam" and use things like "whoop whoop" and/or "Mad Motherfucking Wicked Clown Love" (MMFWCL) to identify them as such, also, painting their faces to pay tribute to the rappers that started all of this (bullshit and nonsense garbage). Also, making claims that if one is not "down with the clown" to "swing our hatchets if we must".... Hmmm, sounds familiar, wouldn't you say? Well, these two (c)rappers, (can't spell 'crap' without 'rap') are now promoting violence, against those who are not members of this group. With ALL that being said, I find it rather FUCKED that ICP would come out say that they are open, and devoted Christians, and that they are "Godly people"... Really? The same people who are "peaceful" and "loving" even though they don't like any who don't believe the same as they do, now have members rapping about commiting acts of violence against those who oppose "Juggalos" and accuse non-Juggalos, as being judgemental, ignorant, and actually people who have no right to speak negatively about them, when in the real world, have actually been accused, indicted, tried, and convicted, of crimes including, theft, assault, and more seriously, rape and murder. But, if one were to speak negatively about such group, EITHER group, then you're close-minded, uneducated, judgemental, and have no right to oppose, and if you do, then you should be punished how they see fit.
Now people, I, who have actually been told ALL of that, on top of, told that I should commit suicide for making such observations, and being accused of being ignorant, judgemental, and have no right to even live... BY A JUGGALO!!
With all these observations, it looks to me as if you're not either a Juggalo/Juggalette, or a Christian, who lives their life devoting it to an imaginary friend made up in a book of contradicting, maniacal fairy tale theories, AND/OR folllow a couple of jerk-offs in Halloween face paint calling themselves 'clowns', then you have no education, no right to oppose of such, no right to believe otherwise, and only should be allowed to live to be punished, judged, beaten, raped, or even killed, due to being "ignorant" or "not understanding". To all you asshats who fit into either of these categories, listen up, and listen fucking good! You are not the only people who share your likes, beliefs, and views. We do not choose to, and until you DO accept that, and stop giving yourselves power that you'll never have, and stop giving us reasons to talk negatively about you, take a good damn look at yourselves....
Juggalos/juggalettes: Do you honestly, for one fucking miniscule second, believe that following these two fucking idiots, and painting your faces like them, and shouting "whoop whoop" and "MMFWCL", and belonging to a group where it's obviously condoning rape and murder and other crimes, something you'll be doing for the rest of your life? And also passing along to kids, (if you have actually breeded), and teach them saying "it's ok as long as you swing your little (imaginary) hatchet"? I don't think so. PULL YOUR FUCKING HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASS!! GROW THE FUCK UP!! LEARN SOME FUCKING ENGLISH WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!! Oh, and by the way, the retarded face-paint, save it for Halloween, that's why we have that day... and it's not gonna protect your precious idiotic clowns if I were to walk up and blow their thick skulls to bits right off their waste of space bodies, is it? I didn't think so. They're humans, (with probably VERY embarassed parents), and they will indeed die some day.
Christians: Face it, there's just people that choose NOT to believe. I'm in no way, telling you, you can't believe, that's your choice, but do us people that don't believe, one favor... LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE!! There's a reason we don't believe, there's a reason we're not Christian, don't try and talk us into something different, you will fail. That doesn't make us worshippers of (another invisible creature), Satan, it just means we exercise our right, NOT to believe. Leave us be, keep your thoughts and opinions about us, and your weird little fairy tale fantasies to yourselves, and simply, shut the fuck up. We don't want to hear it.
Well, appanrently, I'm a "horrible person" to some. Well, those who actually took the time to get to know me, know damn well, that I'm one to care, ALOT about the one's that deserve it. Well, one seems to think that after pushing me away, I didn't care, and when I tried to care, they didn't want it, THEN, made me out to be a cold-hearted, piece of shit stalker.I AM NOT A STALKER!! I do not stalk, I care not to stalk. I deserve to know why I'm getting treated wrong, for someone else's wrong doings. NEWS FLASH! When someone tells you one thing, then does the complete opposite, your credibilty, is pretty much FUCKED! But, lying about me, portraying me to be something I'm not, and then accusing me of things, is not the way to go about it. If you really wanna sit there, and make yourself out to be a victim of an abusive person, when someone else that actually is like that, your chances at sympathy, are slim. YOU made the choices you made. YOU chose to go down that road. YOU were fully aware of what you were possibly in store for. So, with that being said, it's about time I not only clear my name of the lies, but give you an idea of who I am, and why some should be careful, about who they lie about. . When I care, I really care, if you choose not to want it, you should NOT portray me as someone who doesn't and being cold-hearted. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I care deeply, for those close to me, and I will stick by those who stick by me. If you so choose not stick by me or care, fine. But don't expect me to let you go around twisting my words around, lying about me, and calling me out for something I can't control, and is not my fault. I'm very careful as to who I let in, and if I do, you better feel special, because I'll be damned if you're gonna be a fuckhead, and teake advantage of me, my heart, and dignity. I will NOT allow ANYONE to use them as their own pawns in their fucked up little games. Fucking with those will not only make you look like a heartless fuck, but completely stupid too. If you can't face the truth, then keep your fucking mouth shut, and your bullshit beliefs to yourself. So, because one person decided to get involved with me, and pretty much a fake ass, scam artist decided that it's not allowed, and they believed that person over me, things pretty much got to the point where it became okay for them to do just that. Lie about me, and make me out to be something I'm not. I believe in Karma whole-heartedly, and the person, and others that have done me wrong, will have their day. But be forewarned, you fuck with me, I'll right back, and twice as hard. I don't hide who I am, cause I'm not ashamed to show who I am, and what I'm about. But if you try and twist it, or fuck with it, you have NO idea, how bad, you only fuck yourself. I'm not a bad person. I tel it how it is, you don't like it? Don't listen. You can't handle it? Brace yourself for the hardest dose of reality and the biggest crash of a fantasy world. The biggest problem nowadays, is too many people live in their own fantasy world, without facing reality. Truth, the real way of life. The only way to escape it... is death. Which do YOU choose?
Things started great. But things turned rather sour when after swearing that no one can get between us, you let them. After I've proven my truth, over their lies, you still didn't believe me, and shut me totally out. You had things come up, and I wanted to show you support, and have your back, but you told me I wasn't allowed. You ignored me, and when you did talk to me, it was almost nothing. You then wanted to work things out, but yet, were still ashamed to acknowledge the fact that we were even in a relationship or even me for that matter. After the constant neglect, and also making me out to be something I'm not, and tossing things in my face, I decided that I couldn't take it anymore. Upon making that decision, you realized, that my support, and presence was wanted, and so much, that you even begged me to stay. Then you tossed in my face that I made the decision, and even now, you choose to continue to throw things in my face, use me as a scapegoat, and push me away, yet not only stating that no one would be in love with me as you would. So, tell me, do you always tell people that you're "in love with" that they make you as sick as the people that do such horrible things to good people? Do you always ignore, push away, and mind fuck the one you're "in love with"? Do you always shove things in the face of the one you're "in love with"? Do you always look down on the one you're "in love with" for fighting to keep the relationship strong? Protecting what's sacred of the relationship? If so, then maybe you need to re-think the whole 'love' thing. You obviously don't know how to do it. It was only when you pushed me completely over the edge of my own misery, for you to realize that you needed me there, you wanted me there, and wanted my support, begging me to come back. Then even after that, I continued to tell you that you indeed had my support.... you shoved me away, threw shit in my face, and used me as your scapegoat, and yes, like stated before, which hurt like no other, told me I make you as sick as the worst people on this planet, and you had already shoved me away. One day. One day you will really realize what you could've had. Because even after you think you could do better, it's I that could do better. I have a heart, that even after its gone through as much as it has, and even went through an emergency surgery, you've still managed to shatter it. Hope you're fucking happy. I hope you feel better about yourself, because unlike others, I have a heart. And those who know me, know I wear it on my sleeve, with pride, and dignity. I'll be damned if someone is gonna play with it like a toy, then compare me to such scum, then expect sympathy and pity. Think.... HARD. Maybe if you think you realized what you lost sank in before, this REALLY better fucking sink in, even deeper.
Snorks:
Well, snorks, are underwater space smurfs with ingrown dildos on their heads. Not really much to be said about that.
Smurfs:
That whole colony was communist. Papa Smurf is the leader, thats why he wore red. Theres two possiblities with Lady Smurf:
one: that was Papa Smurf's sex slave
two: Papa Smurf ordered the others to run a train on Lady Smurf, while he was off jerkin his smurf gerkin, probably in some sick, smurf bukkake sorta way
Scooby Doo:
Obviously, a drug addict's haven. Especially, because Shaggy, a stoner, and his obviously acid addict talking dog, Scooby, were high 99.99999% of the time. Thus, the constant consumption of stockpile munchies. Fred and Daphne, obviously, a hush couple, always made Thelma, Shaggy and Scooby go thier own way, so they could go off and he could hide his griddy ax in her ham wallet the entire episode. Next thing you see, Thelma's actually off by herself, twiddling her twat with whatever "artifacts" she found while wandering around fucking aimlessly. But first, you see her looking for these "artifacts, so you dont see Shaggy and Scooby getting doped up on every illicit drug known to man. Thelma finds "artifact"; you now see Shaggy and Scooby getting their munch on with 10 ft. high sammiches. Thelma?... twat-twiddlin! Then, somehow, they find some some creepy pedophile in a Halloween costume, chasing the stoner kid and his dumb doped dog around, then turn him in to the 'To Catch A Predator' guy at the end, and the nymphos, Fred and Daphne, get ALL the credit for it!!
Mind you, all this shit is meant for kids ranging in age from 3-8!!
Most people wonder why the youth of America is so fucked up!!
You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99% of girls dont realize it 'til it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice.
From a guys point of view:
We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 12 at night we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 12 a.m. that it can't wait
till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
cute/ stunning, we mean it. So don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.
Let us pay for you! Dont "feel bad". We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say "Thank You."
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are. Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's, sweatpants or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful"?
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me
with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of. On the other hand I'm not sayin I wouldn't like it ether ; ).
Girls, I cannot stress this enough!! If you aren't being treated right by a guy, DON'T wait for him to change... Ditch his sorry, disgrace to the male population ass and find someone who will treat you with utter respect
-Someone who will honor your morals.
-Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
-Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
-Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
-Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the
eyes....and say "i love you" ..and actually mean it.
Give the "nice" guys a chance
Well, there have been many different things to happen in the 1st month of the new year. A lot of it was actually pretty unnecessary, but can't change that now. Gotta look forward. As you all know, I've joined the band 'Cry For Lily' and I'll tell you what, this has probably been the smartest musical choice I have made. And it's not a metal band!! But that will not change the fact that I still put the effort into it as I would if it was a metal band. That's just how I roll. My writing and playing styles WILL NOT CHANGE!! It hasn't before, why start now? I'm as comfortable, and happy as I was in S.I.N., and I like where I'm at and what I'm doing with this band. The fact that my bandmates/friends are some of the most musically creative people I have had the pleasure to play music with. It really is a beautiful thing when people with different musical backgrounds and interests, can work so well together to make some of the coolest, kick-ass music that I have heard in a long time. I thoroughly enjoy this music, the way it flows and blends together is something I can't put in words. Let's keep this shit rollin'!!!
I no longer live in an apartment. I now reside in a house, and NOT with parental units! It's kinda weird now, but some things are still going under construction so I'm still kinda going through the transition period at the moment, but pretty soon I should be set.
The way things are going right now, I'd say everything is pretty much falling into place. I'm living 1 day at a time, cause how else is there to live? I am awaiting to see how things fall into place, and so far, with a few minor negative occurances, everything seems to be working out pretty well. Now, if I can just find my ass a car, everything will be fucking grand!
So, I end this by simply telling you to keep an eye, and ear, open for Cry For Lily, and enjoy what we have in store. I just want to say to all the people that have come into my life, whether it was positive, or negative, or both, thank you. I've learned many things along the way. I've learned things about myself, as well as how this world really works, whether it's worked for me, or against me, it's taught me a lot. Now, I just gotta take it, and work with it. That is all.
See ya!
-Austin
Drummer From Hell©
{Cry For Lily}
You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99% of girls dont realize it 'til it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice.
From a guys point of view:
We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 12 at night we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 12 a.m. that it can't wait
till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
cute/ stunning, we mean it. So don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.
Let us pay for you! Dont "feel bad". We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say "Thank You."
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are. Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's, sweatpants or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful"?
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me
with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of. On the other hand I'm not sayin I wouldn't like it ether ; ).
Girls, I cannot stress this enough!! If you aren't being treated right by a guy, DON'T wait for him to change... Ditch his sorry, disgrace to the male population ass and find someone who will treat you with utter respect
-Someone who will honor your morals.
-Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
-Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
-Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
-Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the
eyes....and say "i love you" ..and actually mean it.
Give the "nice" guys a chance
Now, those who know me, know I'm anything but a 'Godly' person, or religious in any way. Yeah, I celebrate Christmas, and Jewish holidays, but that doesn't mean I'm devoted to it. That's just how I live my life. But, I ask myself, if there is a 'God', why does he suck so bad? Why does he make things so fucking difficult for me to lead a simple life, no serious problems? I'll tell you why, because he fucking hates me. Yeah, I've been on the brink of death numerous times. But, he kept me alive, only to continue his sick little game of 'Let's Fuck with Austin's life!'I've been a miserable little fuck, my entire existance so far, with the exception of a 5 month period. Why am I miserable now? Well, read on, and you'll know. I was with a girl, whom I fell deeply in love with, and hard too. I couldn't be happier. I was complete. How did this so-called 'God' fuck this up? EASY! He decided, that it would be a great, fun, idea to have some cum sponge fuckwad, get in between us, and take the one and only thing that ever made me feel the happiness I was lacking in my life. He succeeded. So, whilst I sit in depression, and wonder what this
little cocksucker has to offer from across continental America, I can only continue to sit and ponder, why I always get fucked out of the good things in life. Why do I always have to have all the bad shit, just fall into my lap? Now, I know what most of you are thinking, "why is this dude still worrying about it?" "Why can't he just shut the fuck up?" Well, I can tell you. I have NEVER, felt this way before. I still care about her, I can't seem to get her out of my head, and out of my heart. Bad? probably. But when someone looks at you, in your eyes, and says, "you're my soulmate." You don't let that go. Ever. That statement is that strong, that no one can just let it go. Now, I admit, I've said something to her, that made almost the same impact, but so positive. And trust me, I regret it, A LOT. Do I wish I could go back and just have it to where I didn't say what I did? You bet your ass I do. But I can't. So, now I've completely ruined any chance I had, of possibly having that person in my arms ever again. Quite frankly, I feel like complete shit for it, and I always will. I doubt she'll read this. I would only hope she does. Then maybe she can grasp what she tossed away, like a piece of trash. Sounds harsh, but it's the truth. I know I probably shouldn't have any feelings towards her but thorough hatred. No, I do have thorough hatred for the little fuckhole that took her from me, and the fact that I'm convinced he doesn't come remotely close to how I felt, feel, and will always feel. And, probly never lift a finger to try and give her, the love, that I was giving, and willing to continue to give. I'm convinced he's sitting back, getting a bigger ego because he's feeding her these lies,
and she's believing them, not seeing what he really is. It hurts to see this happening, and she doesn't see it, nor does she even see the possibility of it.
Just in case you haven't guessed. I'm not the happy guy that I come off as being. I'm in this state of depression, misery, that I cannot seem to get out of. I'm fucking stewing in the shit. I feel empty, low, and basically, pure nothingness. I'm not sure how, or even if, I can even get out of it. I just want to be happy. That's all.
If she were to read this, I just wish she would know, and understand, that I am sorry for the horrible, unnecessary, undeserving words I have said. And that's NOT who I am. Yeah, I can be a vengeful person at times, but I don't usually, if ever, stoop that low, and I completely hate myself for even considering going that low. I'm sure that it won't change a damn thing. But, as long she knows, that I cant live with myself, knowing that the person I still have very very strong feelings for, no matter how bad it hurt when she walked out of my life, and leaving only my heart, shattered into a million shards, and unknowing if it will ever be repaired, or if it even can be repaired. It's killing me quicker than smoking, AIDS, drunk driving, and everything else deadly in this world, combined. I'm pretty much already dead inside....
It just feels like that ever since this has happened, everything, EVERYTHING, in my life, has just went straight down the shitter. It just seems like I have lost everything. I lost control of my life, my feelings, and every other aspect of my existance. I just want to be happy again. Is that really too much to ask? And this so-called, 'God' that everyone seems to praise, well, if it does so exist, and does whatever it is he does besides ruin my existance. I'm sure those of you who actually believe in this being of some sort, is going to tell me, "he's listening, ya know." Good. In case he isn't paying attention. Tell him I said, "FUCK YOU!!"
