I want to be Poly.
I am learning to be poly.
This does not mean it come easily for Me.
I have to fight My own jealousies to be what I want to be.
So bear with Me and please be patient.
This is not what I envisioned when I said I wanted an open relationship.
What I had in mind was:
on occasion you would have a lover or a girlfriend, and occasionally I might do the same.
Everything would be above board… maybe once in a while all would get together, hang out, play or whatever the case may be.
In that situation, it is easier to fight My natural nature, and keep My jealous, possessive tendencies at bay.
In the current situation, it is not so easy.
I am doing the best I can with it, but I am still very much in the
“ Fake it till you make it” phase.
Being in this phase is why I make such a big deal about “not in front of Me”. It just makes it easier on My jealous heart.
I know that you have sex with her.
I know it is all part of it.
So, I deal with it… and yes it is a deal with it.
I hope someday to be perfectly ok with it, but I am not there yet.
Any way the point of all this is to say.
I am not ready to be hearing her talk about getting you off while I am gone.
It just bugs Me… I am learning to be ok with all of this, because it is what I want, kind of….
But I am not there yet.
I know if the situation were in reverse you would have similar issues.
It bugs you enough that I am out looking and meeting new people. You are just as afraid of Me finding someone new as I am you finding someone that trips your trigger more or better than I do
