Mistress and other BDSM Training tips! Blog by The Kink Factory
Over 10,584,397 people are on fubar. What are you waiting for?
Hi Twisted, Humiliation is a favored way to begin to create the idea of control in a Master and slave relationship, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its own specific ways to work well - and to not work well for a relationship. By learning the techniques of humiliation as well as when to use it, you can use this as an effective slave training tool. The trick with humiliation is that many Masters will jump right into using this as a way to train their slaves - without any regard to whether or not this will work for their training purposes. In the initial discussions about slave training, the slave should have told the Master that this is something they enjoy or it's something that can be used to help mold their behaviors as the training continues. When this is not discussed and simply just used at the Master's whim, many problems can occur. If the slave has had any background of true abuse and humiliation (instead of this "play" usage), they can often become emotionally scarred by its use. When you simply start humiliating the slave and they don't want this in your relationship, it can cause them to not trust you to keep them safe as well as to become intimidated by you. They might revert to the slave behaviors that you want, but you may also be crumbling them as a person outside of the relationship. Humiliation can take many forms in a slave training situation. It can be public displays of humiliation or it can be done in private. Public displays of humiliation can be as subtle as having to address the Master as 'Master' in public settings in front of friends or as dramatic as having the slave masturbate in a public place. Private forms of humiliation can be as varied as puppy training or something that involves golden showers. But humiliation can also be done verbally by chastising the slave when they do something wrong, creating the sense in the slave that they have disappointed the Master in their actions. It can also include harsh words that can cause the slave to feel badly about themselves or certain parts of themselves. For example, by calling someone 'slut' or 'whore,' the slave can feel like they are lower than the Master, which can help them feel more controlled and willing to be obedient. Humiliation is often used as a form of punishment or during punishment to show the slave just how disappointed the Master might be in their actions. When used in conjunction with punishments like whippings and bondage, it can cause the submissive to not only feel physically controlled, but also emotionally controlled. This is a highly effective way to reshape the way that slave is acting or thinking about a certain situation. What you may not realize is that humiliation isn't meant to hurt your slave, but rather to cause them to realize that they are your slave and someone that you wish to control in every way possible. When you are incorporating humiliation in your BDSM relationship, you do need to be careful to not hit any sore spots for the slave that might irrevocably damage them. This is something that should be discussed in the initial agreement as to what a scene or relationship will include. That said, humiliation is something that many slaves enjoy in a slave training situation because it adds to the overall control and power struggle between them and their Master. It allows them to feel more objectified as a slave and more of a 'thing' in the relationship.
Hi Twisted, Role playing can be an amazing way to turn up the intensity of any sexual relationship, but even more so in a bdsm partnership. When you add the element of role playing, you can further create a sense of authority and control in a scene. But there are good ways to do this and bad ways to do this. Here is what you need to know before you get started. First of all, find out what your partner might fantasize about in terms of role play. Does he or she think about being a naughty student and you as the controlling teacher? Maybe they're into the policeman and criminal scenario? Take some time to talk with your partner about potential scenes that you can do with these roles. You can even go shopping together to find the appropriate costumes to wear. Using costumes is actually a great way to get you both 'into' the scene that you are going to do. Once you've determined what you want to explore, try to figure out exactly what makes that fantasy so hot for your partner. Is it the outfits? The dirty talk? The spanking? By talking with your partner as well as thinking about the role playing that you want to do, try to figure out what's most important from this scene for them as well as for you. This will intensify the experience and help you both get into the roles more easily. Another way to make sure the role play works well for you is to make sure that you're staying in character as much as you can. Talk dirty or use medical speak in a doctor - patient scene. Make the area where you are playing look like a place the role play could occur. Set up 'props' that will help you both get in the mood. You want to make the 'real' world go away for the time being. When you're new to role playing, you also want to keep in mind that not everything will go right - that's inevitable. So, make sure that you're not being too serious about keeping things in the role play. What matters is that you're both having a good time. If your accent for the French prostitute isn't perfect, don't sweat it. And if that rope tie falls apart, simply fix it and move on with the scene. When you let things get to you during a scene, they will disrupt the scene more than these little 'problems.' ********************************************* More tips to make your role play work: ********************************************* * Research the role you want to play - Read stories about the character that you will be playing. You can also read erotica stories that include this character to help you get more ideas on what you can do. * Switch things up - If your partner is interested, you might want to switch up the roles every now and then too. Or you can change roles in the middle of the role play, if that's something that you both want to do. * Try new things - There are hundreds of different role play games you can play, why not try them all? * You really don't need anything but a vivid imagination - You don't need to have the right clothes or props to have a fun role play. * Talk about the role play afterwards - Discuss what worked and what didn't after the role play so that you can just get better with each time you try. Role playing is a fun thing to add to your BDSM scenes as it gives both partners a sense of being someone else for a while - and that can lead to intense games of control and power. Isn't that what you want after all? ================================================================= Keep your eyes peeled for the next edition! Read about more ways to enahnce your role playing so you can experience the true freedom of being someone else in the bdsm slave training guide (using our step-by-step instructional manual, pictures, and diagrams). Visit: http://www.discoverbdsmslavetraining.com Regards, Mistress Sophia & Master Bishop support@discoverbdsmslavetraining.com P.S. If you liked this article, please take a minute to e-mail your friends and let them know about it. Thanks!
Many BDSM relationships focus on the power exchange between the Dominant partner and the submissive partner. And what better way to showcase this power structure than with collar and leash play? One of the problems you might be having with this kind of play is that it seems like something that has become clichéd and silly. But the idea of one person possessing someone else (as indicated by the leash and collar) is something that is certain to add a new element to a D/s relationship. Combine with that the idea that the symbolism shows that the Master thinks of the submissive as a 'dog' and you've got a recipe for erotic success. But if you go into collar and leash play with the attitude that it's all fun and 'ha ha,' you're probably not going to get a lot out of it. This is a form of BDSM play that really requires that the Dominant enforce strict rules of how to and when to wear the leash as well as what behaviors will be expected when it is worn. The collar should also become something that becomes a reward for being a 'good' slave or one that is finally owned by the Dominant. In most BDSM relationships, the idea of getting 'collared' is a focal point and a sort of destination for the slave training itself. Only when the slave has mastered the tasks as prescribed by the Master or Mistress can they become worthy of wearing a collar on a permanent basis. This collar can be a permanent part of the slave, being locked around their neck without the ability to be taken off unless professionally broken. Or the collar can be temporary and put on and taken off only in BDSM scenes. Some relationships even go so far as to have a collaring ceremony to show the linking of the Dominant and the submissive in their promises to dominate and to serve each other. Much like the vanilla weddings, this is a ceremony that is very special to the relationship and can also signify a deeper level for the commitment to each other. For some, collar and leash play never goes beyond the bedroom. It becomes a way to demonstrate the role of the submissive as well as leading into doggie play in which the submissive acts like an animal to the Dominant. The Dominant might lead the submissive around on the leash and have them eat out of dog bowl. The submissive might also have to follow commands as though they were the property of the Dominant. The collar and leash play can also become a humiliation play when the submissive needs to wear the collar and the leash outside of the home. Done in a public setting, it's immediately obvious that the submissive is powerless in the relationship and that they are being controlled by someone else. While this is usually restricted to be done around folks that are BDSM educated, doing this around vanilla folks can truly make a submissive feel lower in position. The great part about collar and leash play is that they can be used as often or as infrequent as you like, depending on your needs for it in your D/s roles. Sometimes it can be used as a punishment; while others view it as a privilege - how you use this kind of play is a personal decision, but one that many others have already made. Collaring is the mark of a slave that has been accepted by their Master or Mistress and one that you may well consider to be the crowning achievement of your relationship as well.
Like dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit (or at least that works in cartoons), using orgasm control training in your slave training relationship can be highly effective. By teaching your slave when they can and can not orgasm, you will be able to control their mind as well as their body for your personal pleasure. The problem most people have with orgasm control training is that they often think that it's easier than it looks. All you have to do is tell the slave not to orgasm or to orgasm and they will do as you say - if only it were that easy. The problem with orgasm control training usually lies in understanding how to control the orgasm for your slave in order to show them how they can take part in the process as well. As a Dom/me, you need to realize that a slave needs to be persuaded to not have an orgasm or distracted from their body's natural orgasmic response. But if you can not learn these basics, you will not have an effective orgasm control training program. You need to be fully in control of this situation so that your slave doesn't attempt to have an orgasm regardless of what you are trying to do. This will causes the rest of your slave training to crumble -as soon as your slave sees any weakness on your part. The first thing you need to do is learn what makes your slave orgasm in the first place. This seems like a simple task, but with many female slaves especially, there are things that work for some, but not for others. The beginning of orgasm control training will need to be a sort of exploration into what makes your slave ready to orgasm. It will work well if you bring them to the point of orgasm and then back away to begin the orgasm deprivation phase of the training. Then, you can move into guiding your slave into having orgasms from things that they had never had orgasms doing before. For example, you might want to stimulate your slave in a known orgasm-making, but then stimulate them anally or elsewhere to start connecting these other points to causing orgasm as well. Once you create the sensations that they could orgasm from other kinds of stimulation, you will be able to control orgasms in many more ways then you even thought possible. You can also prevent them from orgasms 'normally' by giving a punishment at the same time or verbal humiliation. This will begin to change their associations and change how they respond to stimulation. Another tool in orgasm control training is masturbation for your slave. You might have them masturbate just to the point of almost coming to orgasm and then stop. This will help to control their desire to make themselves orgasm and hand over that control to you - where it should be. You might also have a slave on an orgasm restriction period or work with them to have them orgasm on command without any direct stimulation (this takes a while to achieve, but it can happen). Orgasm control training has many different variations and levels that will help you assert your control over a slave. You can choose from orgasm deprivation, for example as well as orgasm control by changing the sensations that your slave associates with 'normal' orgasms. You can also change what they orgasm from by incorporating punishments when they orgasm. The possibilities are endless. Once you can control the orgasms of your slave, you will be in complete control of their sexual satisfaction. And for many slaves, this is enough to get them to obey every time. ================================================================== I hope you enjoyed the orgasm control tutorial. Keep your eyes peeled for the next edition which will arrive in a few weeks! Discover how to learn more ways to control your slave and create the most mindblowing experiences in your life! Visit: http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=HwYYl&m=1js3Lu6f6D5a79&b=y9SN1a0h4W2HC3mENz6mWw Regards, Mistress Sophia
When you're actively looking to train a slave as a part of your life, you need to be wary of 'experts' that speak of punishment as the ultimate way to control a slave and to have them do what you ask of them. Punishment has many other uses in your slave training life that you will want to consider. The problem with punishment and slave training is that it has been glamorized too often in the media and in porn sites. It seems like all you need to do is whip someone a little bit and they become complacent and obedient. Of course, this would be a nice thing for a Dominant and it would certainly make their lives easier, but this is not always the case. In fact, in many situations, the use of punishment backfires in terms of how it is supposed to help a slave training situation. While it is meant to create obedience, it often inspires disobedience and the idea of 'topping from the bottom.' Though this is more often the case with beginning Dominants and experienced Subs; that does not mean that punishment doesn't need to be something to think about when beginning a new BDSM relationship. The fact of the matter is that many Subs like punishment. A lot. They want to be whipped, flogged, and degraded because it turns them on and makes them feel pleasure. While there's nothing inherently wrong with this reaction, the idea of a slave and Master relationship is one in which the Master determines how the slave is feeling at any given time. When the slave does something wrong, they should be upset that they have failed their Master, not happy to be receiving punishment. Some subs will go so far as to disobey on purpose in order to receive punishments. This is not going to help the slave training process and can become frustrating for a Dominant that is new to their position or who simply doesn't have the experience to come up with other ways of controlling their slave. What you might want to do as a Dominant is to make sure you are talking to your slave before going into a more formal relationship. Talk to them about what turns them on and what makes them feel more subservient. Most Subs are quite clear about these reactions in themselves. Subs know when they are masochistic and when verbal degradation can reduce them to being subservient. Talking ahead of time is the best way to start figuring out what is going to work for your relationship. But the real 'cure' for punishments that go awry is to stop whatever is not working immediately. Trying something over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity - and not a good way to have a successful slave training situation. What you need to realize is the not all punishments you give as a Master are going to be construed as punishments. Many slaves will often enjoy the attention that punishment is giving them and will willfully disobey in order to receive that attention again and again. To stop this from happening, you need to find out what is going to work as a punishment for the slave - humiliation, degradation, verbal humiliation, etc. Each slave is different, but there will be one thing that the slave in question will not want to do, so it will be seen as an actual punishment to them - and something that they will try to avoid in the future with the appropriate behavior you have provided for them.
If you ask ten different slaves what subspace is, chances are good that you will get ten different answers. And that's because subspace is truly an individual experience that can be created through slave training, but is hard to define. One of the main concerns with subspace is that because the definition is so vague, it's hard to tell when and if it actually occurs. Some people believe it's a physical response, while others think that it's an emotional change. In any case, sometimes hindering yourself with such a definition can cause more problems with achieving this state. Still others think that you have to have subspace in order to 'win' as a Dominant, but this is not the case. Though you do want to create a feeling in your slave that they are moving out of the pain of punishment or the feeling that they are being objectified, just because they don't hit this subspace 'ideal' doesn't mean that the slave training has not worked or has not been successful. Subspace is a collection of things, depending on who you ask. For some, it's the sensation of being out of the body and away from the events that are going on. This detachment from the body causes the slave to be able to 'take' more pain and more verbal attacks from a Dominant, often also resulting in the slave complying with every wish without hesitation or without any resistance. The slave is sort of a 'super slave' at this point - able to do everything that their Dominant wishes of them. Another idea is that subspace is the point at which the body begins to produce endorphins in order to fend off physical pain. This rush of chemicals in the body makes the slave feel good and allows them to forget about anything that might be uncomfortable. Their brains are telling them that all is right with the world. This feeling can continue from the scene into the moments and hours after the scene is over. Whether subspace is purely an emotional reaction to a scene due to its intensity or a physical one, the obvious question is how you can use it in slave training situations. Not only does this mindset allow the slave to endure more from the Dominant, but it also feels good, so it's clear that once you 'give' this to a slave during a scene, they will work actively to recreate that feeling. This might mean that they need the Dominant to continuously build the intensity of their work together or that they need to focus more on overcoming sensations that might not be pleasant at first in order to move into that subspace realm. In any case, subspace is something that is worth trying to create in a scene. This can be done by preparations by both the Dominant and the slave. The Dominant can increase the chance of this situation by watching the reactions of the slave during a scene to see how much more they can take and when they are entering a different mindset. Once they have begun to enter subspace, they can then begin to push the scene further to enhance the training. The slave that wants to achieve subspace should be ready to work through any initial resistance to their training in order to move into this other space. This might mean mentally preparing themselves or simply breathing through pain that they might feel. Subspace is something that may not be achieved by everyone, but since it is such a hot topic in BDSM, it's obvious that it's something that might be possible.
last post
6 years ago
posts
6
views
3,986
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss

other blogs by this author

 6 years ago
In the news!
 6 years ago
Humor...
 6 years ago
BDSM , My Lifestyle
 6 years ago
This and That
 6 years ago
My Poetry
 6 years ago
[nsfw] D/s stories writen by My pets
 6 years ago
The Soap Box
 6 years ago
Movie reviews
 6 years ago
My writing....
official fubar blogs
 2 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus 
 12 hrs ago
e by e 
 4 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus 
 1 year ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy 

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.2675 seconds on machine '182'.