WELL TODAY WAS GOING GOOD TILL I GOT TO MY MEETING. I MADE MY MEETING WITH THE HELP OF A TRUE FRIEND.
I HAD TO SURRENDER AGAIN TODAY..IT WAS NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN.. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I WAS ACCEPTED WITH OPEN ARMS AND GOT ALOT OF HUGS... I WAS ASKED BY A FRIEND TO DO A WRIGHTING ASSIGNMENT THAT WE WENT OVER. HE POINTED OUT A FEW THINGS AND THEY ACTUALLY MADE A LIL SENCE... I HAVE ALOY OF UNSOLVED RESERVATIONS ABOUT USING DRUGS..THE MAIN ONE HAS TO DO WITH MY FATHER.
ME AND MY FATHER NEVER HAD A RELATIONSHIP UNTILL I WAS DOING THE SAME DRUGS HE WAS. HE USED TO BEAT MY ASS FR THE LITTLEST THINGS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.I MOVED IN WITH MY MOM @ THE AGE OF 11,THINKING IT WOULD BE BETTER... YEAH A STRAIGHT TEENAGE MALE MOVING INTO A LESBIAN HOUSE HOLD WAS NO PICNIC.. MY MOTHER'S LIFE PARTNER HAD A SON THAT THEY THOUGHT COULD DO NO WRONG SO I GET HIS END OF ALL THEE PUNISMENTS. I STARVE FOR MY FATHERS AFFECTION AND THOUGHT I HAD FOUND A COMMON GROUND WITH HIM IN THE DRUGS.. WAS I WRONG....
I REALIZED ON FRI THAT I CAN NOT HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER... I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT FACT. AND IT BOTHERS ME REAL BAD. BUT FOR MY OWN SAFTY AND MY OWN SERENITY I CANNOT HAVE NO TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM UNTILL HE SEEKS THE SAME WAY OF LIFE THAT I DO... AND THAT HUTS LIKE HELL FOR NOW BUT I HAVE DO DEAL WITH IT CAUSE IT IS THE FACTS OF MY LIFE.....
