Attention...As of 12:01 AM CST of 20 Jan 07, i am taking what will be my last drag of a cigarette for what will hopefully be a really really long time. It is an expensive habit, it robs me of my breath, it commands my days and breaks at work, and worst of all, it makes me taste like an ashtray. I do not want to taste like an ashtray (i don't mind the other shit), i want a woman to WANT to kiss me (because i am a great kisser, just one that tastes like an ashtray) So, as of midnight tonight, i am having my ceremonial last cigarette, tossing my pack.....and gaining about 20 pounds. Why you may ask am i having a ceremonial last cigarette (it's okay, you can ask)...it is because i need to. Not for the niccotine, not for the oral fixation, but rather to convince myself that i am quitting, to make it more real, and to make it somthing to think about. As for why midnight, it's so i can say, it's been so many days hours and minutes since my last cigarette. It works, it worked last time i quit. That sounds odd, i know, the problem then was, no cravings, no agitation..so i got cocky, one night in a bar, i saw some girls smoking, and the best intro i could think of was bumming a smoke. Ten days later i was back up to my original habit. I will not be cocky again. I am Neal and i am an addict. One day at a time.
