Annelid's blog: "Ramblings,thoughts and assorted stuff"

I once dreamed that when I grew up I'd have the American dream. You know the, wife,kids,the house with the white picket fence. The suburban bliss. I live the suburban nightmare. I'm old. Alone. Miserable. and broke. I've been told,well if you goto a dr and get some meds... that might help. Right. My life is dictated by a prescription. Thanks but no thanks. Or goto a Dr and talk,vent. I've done that. The end result is that the Dr got richer and I poorer. I look at it this way, he's a mechanic. He has no incentive to totally fix the car. Just enough to get you home and to work. He needs repeat customers. I never thought that life would be like this. It's like watching a bad move on lifetime tv that you can't help but view. I wish I could wake up from this...but this isn't a dream...it's my life. Good g0d, what happened? Where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve this? Or maybe I shouldn't worry so much about it. Who cares? Nobody does... nor should I. What happens,happens. I'll drift along like a leaf in a river.. where ever life takes me I won't resist. resistance is futile. life is a series of futile events wrapped up in a box with a nice bow. For me anyways. So I shall not whine or complain anymore. Nor will I shed a tear. Or sigh. Or daydream. Or have emotions. I'll do what's expected of me. Pay my bills. Work. Smile. Talk. Shave. Shower. Eat. Live. I've given up. I'm on auto pilot now.