In my life, I am always the one who makes you smile when you are down. People look to me to find serenity, hope, faith and wisdom. We have problem solved with intellect over emotions in times of tragety, turmol and greif. I always have been honest, open and expressed myself articulately to those I have trusted. Very close people have called me their "Rock". Others I have trusted with my emotions, doubts and fears.
With that being said, even rocks faulter.
In the past 2 months, 2 Aunts passed away. One was the closest Family member to pass away in my life. A friends spouse took his own life violently a few days later. In that time another close friend had a heart attack. Another close friend who struggled with a deadly obsession finally lost her battle with addiction. Less than a week later another old time friend who was very instrumental in keeping me sane a few years ago overdosed.
During all of this someone I loved and trusted very much was pulling away from me. They told me in so many words that they had been untrue to me.At the same time, my Daughter has become extremely ill with an unknown ailment that changes daily.
With that all being said, between work, doctors appointments, caregiving, and modeling, things have been trying on my patience.
Last night, someone was so rude and cold to me it felt like I was stabbed in the heart. 2 jobs canceled on me last minute and meetings keep being delayed.
I know this is life..but we all have a breaking point. I reached it today. As silly as it seems, I have felt some people have been a little predujuice of me. A decision had been made that I was not expecting. For what ever reason, that is what made me break down.
I never want to be a burden, complainer or fighter. I just want the boat to stop rocking.
