Hey, guys: Looking for the perfect gift this Valentine's Day?
Posted by Dr. Laura Berman
I've got some "hot" and "not" gift ideas to make sure you end up in her good graces, not the doghouse, this Valentine's Day. Romance doesn't have to be a dirty word. Trust me, it's the way to her heart...and a great night for you, too. A little effort and a personal touch goes a long way.
Here's a gift guide to help you speak her language of love.
* HOT: A bouquet of her favorite flowers or red roses...delivered to the office, so she is the envy of all her co-workers! (This last part was the idea of one of our regular posters.)
Women want to be that woman who is getting romanced for everyone else to see. Sending flowers to work is a great surprise (unless you do it all the time) and creates some heavy anticipation for when you get home!
NOT: A bouquet of yellow roses.
This is the ultimate "friend" present. In fact, it's what you might send your grandmother when she's in the hospital or your best friend when he's had a baby with his wife. Yellow = no passion.
* HOT: A coupon for a backrub from you or drawing her the ultimate sensual bath, with no expectations!
Get versed in the art of massage if you're not up to speed. There are plenty of videos and books out there. To do a sensual bath, all you need is candles, a pile of soft towels and some lavender oil, with relaxing music in the background. Pour the lavender oil under hot running water and tell her she can take as much time as she wants enjoying herself, while you make dinner or do something else that keeps you busy elsewhere. For an added touch, place some wine or champagne next to the bath for her (cold, of course).
NOT: Disgusting toys or movies.
This is the ultimate gift-with-an-ulterior-motive. It's not actually about her, it's about what you want to do with her. Same goes for really skimpy lingerie. Giving a gift like this creates a sense of pressure. It's not enjoyable or romantic. Better to pick out toys and movies together, when you're both feeling it.
* HOT: A home-cooked meal by you...where you really do it all from start to finish. Or, a privately cooked meal at your home with a chef for one night is a special treat for both of you. There are tons of chefs out there who specialize in on-site cooking, and take you from menu conception to preparation to clean-up afterwards.
NOT: Cooking lessons.
This gift will only be taken two ways: one, she is not a good enough cook or, two, you are looking for someone to do more cooking for you. Either way, you lose.
* HOT: A handwritten love note or a poem on fresh tree bark.
Don't be scared to be vulnerable! You don't have to be Shakespeare to write a love note to your one-and-only.
NOT: A gift message written on the wrapping paper.
You can ruin a perfectly good, romantic gift by failing to include a card. Women do not understand this. Why is a card so difficult? It feels impersonal to get a gift without a card. Just get one. Trust me, it means the world, whatever it says, as long as it's from the heart.
