I sit and stare at a monitor, a false hope in my dull existence. Names flash by, some words from those who say they care. But in the end when I turn off the lights and lay down, I still lay down in a cold and lonely bed. I never ask anyone online or in my life away from the computer for anything. But I am about ready to self destruct. I never ask anyone for anything, but yet I am always there when someone needs me. All I ask is this, just remember me ok. I never ask for sympathy, and I always hide my true feelings from everyone. In truth my life SUCKS. There are times I wish I had never been born, but I am here for a reason. In truth I don't mind comment bombing people, I don't mind rating them or even fanning them. But don't get all in a tizzy if I forget OK. Here lately I need to wear a sign, fragile, please be careful OK. Since my divorce I have fallen into a depression and I think its going to kill me because I am having trouble, I fight with my son, and he is 12. I yell at my parents, and i feel lost and alone. Like tonight I feel like taking both bottles of my blood pressure medicines but I wont. I just feel so alone, hurting, like I am adrift in a sea of pain with blood soaking me. I am not asking anyone for anything, just dont forget me ok. I asked my dr for some antidepressants but she said why you dont need them your always laughing. I wonder if I am still human because I dont feel it. I laugh at things and then cry like I want to drown the world. I am loosing my mind I think, slowly but surely falling into this pit of despair. Just stop and think before you over look someone, thats all I ask ok. They might need you just to say hi to them.
