Sighs so i dont know what to say the world spins wild and i find my self on the out side of my home
i can handle this i have amazing ppl in my life who love me who will help me
i am in rock hard place with school
for i am unwilling ot be a show pony and jump thru hoops i am given no respect nor compassion nor love
i should have know better i really should have my father is incapable of thinking of anyone but him self
his needs
his wants
his guilt
his diser
his way
well i dont want it i not a child anymore he missed that part stoned out of his fucking mind
its un just in a wolrd where a man can put a miillion $$$ up his nose in coke but cant handle responitliy of helping one year unless u do what ever he says when he says it
its like dose he not maybe think had he been a father form 1-18 i would have always done his way but fuck he should have helped then anyways
i didnt ask to be born y should i be punished for it ?????
he harassess the admin at my school making sceans and he acts like a child having a tatrum when he dosnt get hsi way
i dont know much more on this i can rant but the facts r
he sets u up to fuck u over play mind games
well i dont want any of those games
i dont
like when he thought cuz i didnt call him enuff a good way to get his point across was to say mygreat grandmonther died
he is fucked in the head .... i told him ur completly insensitive he was like
no no i am very sensetive and i was like to ur feeling yes overly but anyone elses u trample and stomp on and could give a flying fuck about
he offten uses his term selfish term through good money at bad money
its lik in the 1st term of school i was gettiign 85% i was raped and went thru alot of fear cuz i might have been exposed to hiv i wasnt the tests r back now and i am heahty but the fact was i had to deal with this school gave me a leave of absnts to di the meding stuff with this
he seems to think this is areaosn for me to not be worthy of finishing school cuz dispite hte school to,d me i couldhave as long as i wished to re cover and be ready he wasl iek go back in a month or fucking never go back i wont help u
he 2 years ago became clean and said he wanted to help me offered me a placve and tpo [ay for school i foolishly thought it was the drugs that made him a selfish un caring asshole
i was wrong
well anyways the next term after forcing my self back when all my testing wasnt done i still was having panic attaxcks couldnt leave teh house and i am in a class of all guys
needless to say didnt go well now the school told me o couldhand in all the work later and they want to see me do well cuz i good at this
father on the other hand gose back to that good money at bad money things .... mind u i got low mark the average is still about 70% so my god i not failing could it be his rules r biting him since he paying as long as i not failing but u know what ....screw him
he dosnt even know my marks yet there not in cuz the schools letting em hand my stuff in cuz they feel i should get that ... what dose my dad think with his fucked head she pissing round not working wasting my time my money living in my place ... witch i might point out had he paid chiouldsupport when i was a kid he prob wouldnt even own for all the shit this main should have done
the poinbt is he dosnt put good money at bad money
well he is a right off in my books i dont even know hwo to talk to him i really do
its sad cuz i always wanted a father not in the cards
i cant have ppl play games with me try and make be cray in scgool
