Icarus's blog: "Hope- by any other name."

I wanted to tell you a joke that didn't use my life as the punchline

but it was the only one I knew.

I remember writing secret messages.
Codes for the words and syllables
if you counted em out there was a number
that number corresponded to a letter
that letter spelled a sentence

sometimesIneedtogetoutofhere
helphelpshestoppedlovingme

crawling sprawling scrawled little cries for attention, and sometimes legitimate pleas.

Sometimes it was the third capitalized letter, sometimes it was the only capitalized letter

or just a simple downward column.

It's fun.
It would trick the reader if they ever saw it.
It would trick me into thinking there was more there.

...

Wanna try one?

Alright....

Summer was the most cruel. October delivers us from the heat, delivers us pleasant smells, orange leaves, strangers that smile to us on damp streets. Mostly I just keep to myself, my hands in my coat, eyes on my shoes. Except every once in a while... I bump into a phantom. This could be an old friend long forgot, an acquaintance daydreaming we were close, a beautiful stranger... a first inkling of kismet. I know her as goddess, fair, curvaceous, boisterous, vivacious and lean. Maybe if you had seen her, you'd understand. Each time my eyes flitted a brief flirtation with her figure, my heart rose and plummetted. See... to her I was just a soul mate, now twice severed.

Makes me wonder... what kind of magic, explosive sex we could be having right now. You know the kind- where the walls shake, and the fireworks all go off at once.

Except there's a tragedy to this story. You wouldn't guess that it goes passed her personal preference. Everyone ready for the elephant in the room?

The truth is... there's a diamond solitaire on her slender, otherwise perfect left ring finger. What makes it hilarious- she confessed to me, that she wasn't in love with him. In fact she never was. That's the sweet truth, as I dart into another corner, fade into another crowd. Catie was her name. His, I never bothered to learn, didn't see the point other than "plan B" "meal ticket" "available risk free body". Everyone has a secret, mine is a true love, blanketed in lies. Such sweetness for the eyes, such music to the heart...