touch. the dictionary gives so many different definitions of the word touch.
Touch:
1. to put the hand or finger on or into contact with something as to feel it
2.to come into contact with and perceive something as the hand or like does
3.to bring the hand finger stc into contact with something
4.to treat of affect someway of contact
5.to come into or be in contact with
6.the act or state of touching;state or fact of being touched
these are just a small number of many definitions of touch, but what else can touch mean. what does touch do, and what emotions can touch evoke. i think my favorite would have to be the act or state of touching state or fact of being touched. my idea of touch runs the gammit. like the touch of my son when he wraps his legs and arms around my leg. the emotion that evokes would be the emotion of being a mother. every time i feel his heartbeat against my skin i know that heartbeat at one point was my heartbeat. the little heartbeat that races when hes excited was conceptionalized in my body first. and what led to that seperate heartbeat against my leg, from a heartbeat that i could hear when i went to the doctor with the ultrasound, to the touch and vision of a heartbeat throbbing in my neck. a lot of people think that is an old wives tale but each time i have been pregnant i could see a heartbeat beating in my neck. every morning i would wake up and stare in the mirror of the miracle of this little heartbeat that was ever so slightly noticeable to others around me, but to me that little heartbeat looked like my own heart had moved to my neck. and all the touch that comes with the touch of a child came with the touch of a lover. maybe a one night stand when you had a little too much to drink. maybe a time when your emotions were running wild and the first man that touched you in a way to make you feel differently. maybe it started with the touch of a finger tracing your jawline. or the touch of a fingertip running down your back. the touch of a hand that gentley grazes your breast the type that when you look into the eyes of the man touching you, you know right then and there that this was everything you ever wanted in life. and at that time you assume that this life, the fairy tale dream that you have held since a child where the handsom prince would sweep you off your feet and worship the ground you walk on. the mother touch, the touch of a child has to be one of the most powerful touches that we were blessed with when god created adam and eve. one day you feel a touch from the man you thought that you would die with, its a different touch this time. a little nudge waking you up from a nap and your husband, your lover your best friend tells you that he has talked to so many people and they agreed with him that because he is so unhappy with his life right now that he has to drag you and your children down into the pits of hell called seperation. after the fighting and the bickering and the harsh words have all been said the only thing i kinw for sure is when i lok down and see the look of uncertainty in my babies eyes. the look of why is mommy and daddy fighting. why is mommy so upset. the day my husband left us my kids were the ones that were there for me. they were the ones who wiped the tears away from my eyes as i lay in bed cryig feling that some unbeliveable weight of the world has just became your burdon. the thoughts go through your head, what am i going to do how am i going to survive this tragedy. at that point i felt as if he were in a sever car crash and didnt survive it that seniero would be better than the one that is playing out in slow motion. every word said and everythought not said run through your brain. could i habe done or said somethim else that would have changed my lifes outcome. is there a way to go back into time and change the things that you argue about during this moment in the now? but then i feel the touch of my little 3 year old sons hands rubbing my face and him saying mommy are you going to be sad again all day? mommy are you going to get out of bed today, mommy i love you. mommy i went and got your favorite drink for you. my husband left me, the touch that i had with him is now gone. my boys understand how my husband touched my heart with hurt and neglect. i will never feel the touch of his hand on my back. the feeling of his touch when he patted my butt while walking into a store. the touch of his lips touching mine walking at the mall. i love to see 2 people in love but now the their lives touch my heart. i think wait til they have kids and he decides that his time to abandon his family has come. the vows that he wrote for me saying he would never leave me for anything and that we would always works things out. does he know how his touch has affected the rest of my life and my childrens lives forever? does anyone know how important that touch is and how it effects a person more than just the definition of that word. recently i have felt a new touch. the touch of a finger running the outline of my cheek, the touch of when he pulls my hair but with not a rough mean pull but a pull that makes your heart feel alive for the few minutes i get. the touch of my heart when i can look into eyes without hatred and awkwardness. so how powerful is the concept of touch. it can make you feel good, it can get you excited, it can give you the feeling that there are 2 beautiful children that depend on you now more than ever. touch can make you happy, it can makes you sad, it can bring forth feelings that you forgot were held down in your heart afraid to make the play to get your heart broke again. even though your heart cant literally be broke into pieces by hurt but it sure does feel like there are pieces of your heart that has died off. moods are such a strange thing and no one is immune to the cycles or the moon and tides. unfortunatly my moods flux harder than a lot of people. i have been diagnoised with manic severe depression for over 20 years of my life, it has taken its toll on my body and mind. just know i am looking for that touch, i know again i will feel that touch, the kind that when i am touched that all i want to do is crawl up inside their body and find the true intent of their heart, but until technology makes it possible to tell us if the people we meet are the right nad compatible people for each other, you just have to follow your heart, think with your brain and follow the emotion of touch
