† Dark Angel Designz †
often times I sit and think if life is well worth living. I often don't believe it is nor do I care to continue on. I see my family and my children and know that they are worth living for, yet can't help but feel like my life is going no where. why must this pain within continue to grow so wildly? can't i just be normal? can't i be happy with me and my life? i haven't made any real accomplishments aside from giving birth to two amazing boys. i only hope they know how precious they are to me. there smiles, the touch of their hands on mine, the way they call out "mommy". I am amazed at what beautiful creations i have made, yet fear that I am not a good enough mother for them. they are healthy and very much loved, but deserve so much more.... i'm rambling and not making sense but that's ok. you needn't continue reading if you don't want. I don't mind being pushed aside by those I don't know. i dread being pushed aside by those I love. i often feel as though i'm always trying to get things done only to be running in circles unappreciated by the one I love the most ( aside from my children), will he ever want me as I want him. will he ever be happy with me or should I let him go his own way to see how life can take him. I don't know... i don't know what to do or what to say anymore. I want to sleep and never awaken, yet i'm afraid to go to sleep. why must life be such a roller coaster?
