sweetcreeangel's blog: "dont know"

This is weird,I joined this site cuz a friend asked me to and I ended up meeting alot of wonderful people,some have become friends.One became more. I dont know what will become of it but I do know this I like how I feel when I talk to this person,both on the phone and oneline,We are making planns to meet,I have my fingers crossed that something special will come of it and of us meeting. I do that I have left him sweet little mushy messages.After all it's weird for me but that is my baby bear and I love him very much.I think it's cute on how he calls me baby-doll. I do know that I think about him alot. I know awwwwwwwwwwww,but Im beginning to like this awwwwwwwwwwwwwww very much,lol. As,I sit here and write this blog right now,I have a smile on my face even though,I am tired and wanting to sleep. So,I hope that says soemthing about the specialness of my sweetie and my soon-to be ct husband.

I was trying to figure out what a soulmate is.What I do know for sure is that every one has there idea of what a soulmate is to them. What I am about to write is a series of thoughts I played with in my head well I was thinking of what a soulmate is to me: To me a soulmate and your 'destined one' is someone with whom BOTH people can 'feel' the other.You are lonely,missing the other person,you feel incomplete with-out your soulmate. When you finally do find your soulmate you are complete even whole,when away from them you think of them and how you can't wait to feel what you feel when around them. So,as I search for my soulmate,I can ask myself these questions....for I think that it has something to do with my search for the other half of my soul. If I held out my hand-would you hold it? If I was to reach out my arms,would you hug me? If I was crying,would you cry with me? If I gave my heart to you willing-would you treat it as it is-something precious? If I asked you to take care of my soul-would you do so without feeling burdened? If I was to walk away from you-would you love me enough to set me free trusting if it was meant to be-I would come back? These are my thoughts on the whole soulmates idea.You may or may not agree.Yet,it seems we have all had thoughts like these at one point in time. I am hoping that I have found my soulmate,but only time will tell.

I am soooooooo sick of bad news and people I know,care about and yes even love are passing away or sick.In my family we believe that everything happens in threes. First we buried my aunt,now getting ready to say good-bye to my gramps and now my'other'mother is in the hosptial. The amazing thing thing is I refuse to give up hope and I refuse to give into self-pity,after all everything happens in threes both good and bad. So for all the good things yet to happen in my life,I am sooooooooo looking forward to them happening,as for the deaths,they are a natural order and blah blah. Yet the pain I feel is nothing good,I like pain but not this kind............lol So for all my loved ones that have passed on May the Great Spirit guide you and protect you until we can meet again and dance together once more.........much love and respect,missing you...you will always be in my heart and within my spirits Maraget Lucy Ahenakew 1940-2007 RIP You will be with me always

Thats just one feeling every one seems to feel at one point and time,right now thats my time.Ever since friday thats how I have been feeling,even though for a brief day(yesterday)I was happy. Yesterday was my sons 13th birthday,I have a teenager!!!!!!!!!!!!!!My son is growing up and it scares me.I am feeling more alone now,knowing that soon he will have a girl-friend and be doing what teenagers seem to know to do or something like that.He was my baby and now it seems like he is growing up too fast. I don't know maybe I am being silly.Or maybe it is a feeling that all parents go through when their first born hits 13 cuz they know that he or she is becoming a young lady or a young man. IS it silly for me being alone and wishing for that baby again and remembering all the things they did when they were little?

Hurt and feeling alone,even though I am surround by family in my time of need. Pleading with GOD,Am I sorry for what happened? In many ways yes This is how me and lot of people I know feel out there when you lose a love one.Also how alot of people feel when they lose a child.Yet with every-one against abortion and telling how wrong it is.That is how alot of women who have abortions feel as well. No one understands or can pretend to understand,how we as woman feel,especially after something like that.Alot of women who are against abortion,SOMETIMES NOT ALL THE TIME BUT SOMETIMES will do it.Trust me when I say I know this. All,I am trying to say is don't hate on them TRY to understand what they did and WHY they did it. That is all Have a good one and take care

I have made new friends for the last little bit to the point where old friends are starting to get jealous.It's silly yet cute at the same time.I personally would never replace a friend for everyone is different and bring a certain flavouring(for lack of a better word) to the table of life. I saw something the other day that reminds me of friendships,it's a quote: "If I wanted to be like you,I would clone you,instead knowing you could bring something special into my life I asked you to be my friend" So,as I make new friends,bury old ones and laugh growing old with certain friends,I can truly say that I have been blessed with and by the people in my live. Both in the good times and especially through the bad.People can tell you that they are your friend until they are blue in the face but the sign of a good friendship is if you are in jail they are sitting beside you or at the very least ready to bail you out.Meaning that they are always there during your bad times as you are for them. So to my old fiends and to my new friends,if I am willing to be there both good in bad are you willing to for me as well?

It was been one crazy year for me.I broke up with my best friend(he was getting to clingy for me).Devolped a new crush,got my babies a good christmas,has fun,been on the pow-wow trail.Went to court,made new friends,buried old friends,worked and discovered that I have new fetishes. People come n go from your life,yes you'll miss them,but you'll always remember a smile or maybe even the smell of clothes or something like it.As for the new crush or crushes,those also come n go.People are human and its fun explore them as time allows.It is also ok to have more then one crush,for you too are human. The pow-wow trail was a blast and I had a good time,meet people and got to see old friends,also placed at several of them. The best thing I think I did this year was join cherrytap and met some great people that I am looking forward to getting to know better. Other then that nothing is new for me.I spent New Years Eve at home and liked it.Discovering cyber sex and having a good time. I pretty much suck but I hope you all had a good New Years.

I am so confused so yes in a way screwed.I have decided to stay single for awhile(that lasted long).Now I am into two guys and not just one.LOL,told ya,screwed. Both guys are sweethearts and both guys I definaltly want to sleep with,in fact already sleeping with one,problem would be solved with they both would want to do a threesome but both dont want a threesome with another guy. Cheez,get over it and just do it already. I have been doing alot of thinking and I am going to sleep with the first one as soon as I can,I am not so sure how to tell number two but I am so sure that he won't understand. Both I considered friends to me,alas the tangle web we weave.I couldn't sleep last night cuz I was thinking about it. This is what I ended up thinking: I tired and torn To weary to be worn, Having one,wanting another Having sex with one,wishing he was the other I dream of him,well with you I cry and I am blue I will shake it off and feel sweet Again,yet I have yet to meet.........u Its the middle of the night I wake up feeling like I was in a fight, Go into the bathroom,seeing the Razor blade Sitting their in its glade I pick it up,thinking this should be easy, Prick myself,seeing blood,feeling queasy Shake my head and ask Am i finially losing it? I am sure that this feeling will go away in a bit I want the blood fall down my arm, I do it again,thinking that there is no harm I fall faint Felling taint I lay down and want to sleep All of a sound I hear a beep Its my alarm!It was a nightmare My skin is pricklings and I fight for air See,i need to get over this,that's why I am feeling screwed. I hope you all get what I am saying.

I can,t seem to shake this cold and it really sucks.Yet for some reason now that I am sick,my sex drive is back........that is fucked.Well,the truth is I had sex with my ex and it wasn't what I expected or really wanted.What ever happened to good old -fashion rough sex?I mean come on guys..............I want to sweat out my cold,not be held and cuddled.I am not saying being held and cuddled is a good thing don't get me wrong.I like it rough DAMN IT.Since I like it rough,shouldn't I get what I wasnt,especially when I am sick?I hope so,after all it would be nice.

This is a very personal subject for me.A friend of mine is doing time because of this time of crime. Native women of all shapes,sizes and backgrounds here in my home town of Prince Albert sell themselves on the streets.What bothers me is the fact that a friend of mine got convicted of murdering one such type of woman. The thing that also bothers me,is after she died she was painted to be sweet and innocent.The truth is she was pregnant and a junkie.The thing I believe is don't paint people to be something they ain't.After all people are not perfect nor should they be painted to be perfect.We as people make mistakes and are not divinly perfect.That's what makes us humans and lovable.Yes,he was wrong to kill her and her unborn child.Nor do I think he wasn't wrongly convicted in any-way. (WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO IS TO GET HIS STORY OUT THERE FOR PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT THERE IS TWO SIDES TO THIS STORY AND TO HELP OTHERS IN THIS SITUATION OR TO GET SOMTHINE DONE ABOUT THESE GIRLS AND THEIR JOHNS SAFE!!!!!!!!!!) I don't disagree with that.I also agree with the fact that she shouldn't have gotten into his car that night and tried to rob him as well. See,what I am trying to say is that there are two sides of every story.(sometimes there are more then two sides to the story) What I also trying to say is why do women,not only native women feel the need to sell themselves.I think that we should make the streets safer for these women who are out their selling themselves.Like making it legal and setting up houses for them to do their 'business' in. I hope this makes sense to you all out their.If you agree with me then don't put those ladies out there on the streets down,understand that there are two-sides to every story