Demonbladie's blog: "doing things you know is wrong"

Men I know that I had said that I wanted a man to finely love me for who I am. For the first time I had thought that I had found him. The question remains that if the one that you are with keeps putting pictures of he ex in the nude on his computer, does he truly love you? That is the question that I have. Why would he keep doing this and saying that he does not know how it keeps getting there when I have deleted it a few times myself. I know from what he has told me that in the beginning he still had strong feelings for her. That if she would have just showed him that she still cared he would have gone back to her. Now he tells me that he is no longer talking to her even when she e-mails him. I don't know what to think because for one reason or another she is brought up at least once a day. How am I suppose to live like this? Should I just keep hoping that one day he will love me that much or that he will no longer want the pictures of her? Should I walk away now before I get hurt worst then I already am? I do all that I can to make him happy, but I am not sure that my best is enough for him. I am thinking that i should just give up and let him go to find out what he really wants. I thought that was me. From the time he asked me to marry him things have changed. Maybe I am not what he wants or needs. Maybe I should just move .. the year ends so that next year may be better. I just don't know what to do.

I hate the way a man will sit there and tell you that they love you and would never do anything to hurt you. While they are telling you that they go behind your back and do thing that they know are wrong. They want you to do things that they will not do themselves (like quit talking to exs). They go and do it behind yours back. The ex is not the one that is making contact and you know that it is him. I am starting to think that I was better off without a man. I Am pretty much doing it all on my own anyways. I pay all the bills, clean the house, take care of my kids, and all he does is play his game if that is not online them he stays on the pc. He brakes his promises and does not lesson to me when I need him too. If an ex needs him he is right there for her. I have also hear that he told her she is the best he ever had so maybe that is where he belongs and not with me. I am done trying to keep him I am over it. I just love him so much and it kills me when I find out how many time he has lied to me. I can tell by now that he has lied me too many time and I am tired off it. I let it go the fist few time but I think this is all I can handle. I have to have surgery soon and I don't need the stress of him and the ex again. I can not live with it or handle it anymore.