Too fucking many at this point. I don't god damned like fucking harry potter. I like harry potter as much as I like halloween movies. At least Mike Myers kills people. Seriously, I don't care abou the prepubescent antics of some fucking bespeckled wizard. Its not interesting. Shit when I was a kid I was reading about adults do you suddenly believe I will find the actions of children at school, regardless of the fact that it is a school for wizards, at least somewhat interesting. The only thing gaining my interest is the eventual porn career of whats her face when she grows a pair. Thats funny. Thats just droll. Seriously, how many god damned stereotypes did the woman have to put into her tales of the boy wizard. Doesn't that just sound gay? Seriously, Harry Potter boy wizard to save the day. Do you want to know one of the reasons I love horror movies. Stupid people get theirs. I am not a genius, but at the same time I know for a fact that I am quite far from stupid. I may have given up proper grammar on the internet as well as spell check, but that is simply out of a lack of respect for you: the reader. Yes, you who don't really read my blogs. Anyway, harry potter, is not only a children's thing, but a set of chick flicks. That is why I've seen those movies. Girls like them and here I am enjoying the film because of this. Sex does some horrible things to how one spends there time. Sure you're getting laid, but then there are those periods of time where you just want to know why didn't they suffocate you at birth to save you from the mediocrity of the experience you'll have with another human being. Ah cynism how I love thee. Anyway, aside from waxing poetic about my giant hard on for the cynical, you've got all the children's fantasy story cliches roled into one. You've got the doofy friend, the childhood love interest, the kindly old mentor, the obviously evil guy as well as the antagonist in general, you have the moments of awe as in oh my god not old yeller, the moments of triump where the Hanson brothers bash the other team to the ground, and on and fucking on. Its like she bullet pointed the obvious and wrote it out. Now, I am not going to say that the movies and books don't have their appeal. They just don't have any for me. I am cynism hear me roar. Well, mostly sneer and mock and chide, but its the equivalent of a cynics roar. You can't have that much of an emotional outlet when you're being cynical. Its just not fitting. Cynics don't go for it. They're sarcastic. If you had me in serious pain you'd not get this horrifying barbarian yowel, but more like, "Oh you think this hurts. This isn't nearly as bad as when a preadolescent head butted me in the genitals." See thats more like it. You mock. I love to friggin make fun of things. So there you have it. Harry Potter is gay. No, I didn't prove it. I just had this urge to right some utter shit and see how many people might have the misfortune of reading this tripe.
