Some days I forget to count my blessings & I let myself see mole hills as mountains. Its a human trait i guess. It helps when your feeling a little run down, be that physically, mentally or spiritually (yes it is possible) to get yourself in a state of 'why me...not fair...bleah life'. These days are challenging. I find myself inactive on days i feel bad. I loose all motivation to just move...and i also find myself feeling very tired. Still...at some point in the day i push myself to do at least something. A good sleep might help me, just going to sleep mid day - but most times that just not possible.
I havent been feeling bad lately although i still forget to count my blessings. The stage of life im feeling is....how to say this....well - its like i have been led into a very loud active room , stayed there awhile, now i have been led out and are in a very quiet waiting room facing a door. Im waiting to see if that door is going to open for me...waiting to see whats behind it....waiting to experience the next room and what it brings. Im in no hurry. I have my family in the room with me and theyre keeping me company. Theyre my blessings there.
I fail to remeber that sometimes....how easy it is to count my blessings. 1...2 very easy. They are the biggest and most important blessings i have apart from it being a blessing just to be alive. See...theres #3. I have friends with me in this room...quietly looking at their own doors. Silently wondering whats in store for them next. (blessing #4 = friends.) Some of these friends are involved with their own lives...they stare too intently on their own doors to remember to gaze in my direction and wave now and then. It feels like they forget that i exist sometimes...but when i honestly think about it - theyre there with me. They just have their own lives keeping them busy. Im sure if they werent my friends they'd have told me. So they are there. I'll just sit and be patient til they DO wave to me...then i'll smile at them and wave right back their way. After all...i'm just a friend...I am not THAT important in the grand scheme of their daily lives....as they arent that important in the grand scheme of mine. However...there are a couple of friends there with me that are nudging me regularily and giggling with me in this 'quiet' room. They make their presence felt. They stop me looking too hard at that door of mine and make me look about the room and see whats going on around me. I nudge back and make them look away from their 'doors'for awhile from time to time too. Make them smile and take 5. Sometimes we discuss in great depth what was in the room we just left...and we contemplate together what is in the room behind our doors. Most of them have a pc and chat with me there...some are txting on a phone at times...but theyre right next to me. They are my most cherished friends. (blessing #5 = close friends) Although i dont have many family members around me...i have a few. (blessing #6 = family)
So the quiet room isn't a lonely place really. Its just not like the room i came from. I am in no hurry to rush through the unopened doors in front of me. Physically i cant yet...i cant even see a handle on the door! I dont know how to open them yet...but i'm sure it will open somehow. I know 'God' is there...he is the quietest but he is there. That i consider a great blessing (#6 = my faith). He gave me everything i need to make it through the door in front of me...and sends help in my times of struggle. He is who i thank for everything i am and can be. (blessing #7 = freedom to choose) So with all o ahve acknowledged and my able body (blessing #8 = a body that i can use and #9 = its presently healthy) So no matter what the doors reveal...i am equiped with everything i need to survive it. All the blessings i just numbered will get me through anything i face. They will give me strength for me and will generate strength i can give to others.
The days my mole hills grow into mountains...i can scale them with all my blessings and grow. I can grow so big that they'll become weenie mole hills once more and i have become stronger to face real mountains be it alone or with people that need me. My blessings are there and real and precious. I just forget to count them sometimes.
~* are you breathing? got people to love? then its going to be a beautiful day!*~
