Chapter 5 Gob Of Snot
Patsy's earliest memory of Nate was at a neighborhood playground during the summer.She was 8 and had long straggly sun bleached hair....very straw-like with no discernible part. He was 6 and had a dark buzz cut which he clearly hated because he kept rubbing his head in expectation of finding more hair there. She could never remember what they were wearing...she didn't notice those kinds of things until she was much older. He was new to the neighborhood and had a crippling shyness so of course she plunked down RIGHT next to him as he languished on the edge of the sand near the monkey bars.
"HI! I'm Pats!"
He looked at her like she was crazy but without even thinking replied....
"Goody gumdrops Pats is here"
She laughed so hard, flinging her head back with such abandon, that it bumped up against a passing stroller. She didn't even say OW...just held the back of her head and kept giggling...
"What's your name?"
Then he sneeezed a big gob of snot into his hands. Utterly horrified, he held them out frozen like a surgeon waiting for the nurse to slip on his latex gloves. Without skipping a beat she said "DO THIS!"...she grabbed two handfuls of sand and began rubbing her hands together as if she were washing them at a sink. He followed her lead and seemed happily surprised when it actually worked!
"You don't look like Nathan...gonna call you Nate"
He turned to face her with a huge open grin. Years later he told her that it was like becoming a new person when she did that.
They were best friends from that day on.
Chapter 6 Two Old Armenian Men
They wake to the smell of vinyl just stating to cook a bit. Nate is still groggy but Patsy snaps into action. "Time to move...change tire...easy!" She gets out of the car and rattles through the trunk for everything she will need and yells...
"YOU ARE A HUGE BULGING HEMORRHOID IN MY ASS YOU KNOW!"
"I KNOW...but I'm gonna buy you a house one day fart face so SHUT UP!"
OOPS he hasn't had his coffee yet and regrets that slipping out. He has always wanted to buy her a house but has never told her about it. "Christ what is wrong with you Nate" he says to himself almost under his breath..
"NEVERMIND!....my back is fucking killing meee"
"Well get your cute scrawny ass out here and help me DAMMIT!
They finish changing the tire cursing and grunting....grumpy as two old Armenian men...then with filthy hands and smudged faces get back into the car.
"SOOOOOOOO....you're going to buy me a house huh? Farcy will LOVE that!"
They drive on to Vegas in comfortable silence this time...Nate is finally breathing.
Chapter 7 Two Crispy Bacon