Rogue's blog: "Throwing plates"

Fu can be a great place to meet interesting people you would never know otherwise and I have made some amazing real life friends here. That being said; there are aspects of this place that are not good. Fu caters to the worse parts of all of us. Greed, neediness, selfishness and vanity are only a few of the less than stellar qualities in us that thrive under this environment. I am in general judgemental about these qualities in people, but have turned that harsh mirror on myself and realized that I am guilty of these same things. Clearly I didn't have over 1,000 pics because I was completely secure in myself. I was looking for some type of validation that I no longer need from other people or Fubar, so I will be deleting many of these photos. My good sense has finally overtaken my vanity.

I will also not being spending another dime on Fubar, nor do I wish for any of my friends to spend anything on me. Bling is nonsense. Pictures of things are nonsense. Do not spend your hard earned dollars on me, I don't want it. Those of you who are living paycheck to paycheck should not be spending money here at all. Make sure you and your family have everything you need in your real life. Those of you who have expendable income and wish to waste it on Fu sobeit.

The new level requirements are part of what has caused this shift in thinking in regards to this place. The idea that to get to top level you have to be red for even a week is playing to the worse in people. Let's face it to make red at all you have to prioritize the game over your actual friends most often. There are a couple of exceptions to this and you know who you are. For the most part though not only do you have to lay down a fuck ton of cash and time into this place to make it, but you have to be willing to sell your grandmother for a fam add. This is not something I will ever be doing. If you have ever considered the game above your friends for even a second then you should rethink your priorities. Being a high rank on Fubar means nothing!

This is not a goodbye speech, because at this time I have no intention of going missing. I am here when I feel like it and when I don't have pressing real life things to take care of. I am here to interact with like minded individuals that I enjoy. I may or may not return your comments, likes or rates depending on what I have going on. Do not do anything for me because you want something in return. I don't owe anyone a damn thing. My time is my own and I will pick up and put down Fu as I see fit. If you wish to keep me in your family it will be because of your genuine connection to me because I will not be running anything when my powerups are gone. My family is and always has been for actual friends.

We operate under so many misconceptions in this amplified version of the real world. So many people make judgements based on Fu bullshit. (likes, rates, numbers, bling) Why do we really give a fuck? I was informed today that I am jaded. This was something I didn't know about myself (mostly because I am actually not) I am guarded (especially here and with good reason) The distinction is this: Guarded means you are careful with your feelings and your personal life and who  you let have access to either. Jaded means you are not open to love or friendship. To me it means bitter. I don't see everyone as bad or good. I see them for what they show me. Even in this fucked up place I have made friends that have broken down my defenses and become as important to me as family. I trust that those of you who maintain that place know very well who you are. I have seen more judgement here lately than I care to see in a lifetime. We are all guilty of it and I personally am working on it as we all should be.As of late I have had people unfriend me based on what I can only assume is their closeness to others that for whatever reason I no longer maintain a friendship with. This is insanity to me. How do u base your friendships on a relationship or friendship they had with someone else? Is it their version of events was so heinous that you decided that someone was not worth your time or benefit of the doubt. Regardless of what happens between me and anyone here I keep it to myself. I like who I like and always for good reason, but I never force my opinions on others or disparage a former friend. Even if they deserve it.. and some do. That being said I was also told tonight that someone  had resentment towards me for not being more receptive to their friendship. Here is the trick: We all came here for a reason. Some reasons we don't want to admit to ourselves even. It is an escape, a place to go to hide in the open. To show glimpses of yourself you may not have the guts to show face to face. It may very well be as simple as ego. Again we all have our reasons. The thing is that I don't owe anyone anything, nor does anyone owe me anything. I may or may not answer a comment, rate or some other bullshit. You don't know what is going on in my real world, no more than I do about yours. I guess what I am trying to say is cut the bullshit. Take the good with the bad here. Keep your judgements to yourself and if you don't like me then simply move on. Let the nonsense go or simply stay out of my life. (fu or real) And if I seem guarded to you there is good reason. I consider myself a smart person, but even I have fallen for bullshit here and believed all the pretty things someone said to me when clearly in the end I shouldn't have. It won't happen again and I am not here for any sort of romantic entanglement. I am here for my real friends and sometimes just to push buttons and shut out the real world. If you want to get to know me it may or may not happen. There are many variables. Is it because I think I am special? Well yes, of course I do and if you don't find yourself special we probably wouldn't get a long very well. Just understand if we are even fu friends that I am me and you probably don't know me at all, so never make assumptions because you will most likely be wrong. I can count on one hand the people here who truly know me. Also please understand I will do as I please because I make my own decisions here and in the real world. 

Rage

It is good for you.

It is cathartic.

Throwing glasses against the walls just to watch them shatter.

Stop pretending every once in awhile. It is good for you to feel what you feel and say it. Fuck the consequences.