Emotions move us with force. Control them. This is not to say, shut them down completely. That may be the only control you have in the beginning, but as with Martial Arts, practice yields control. Feel them all for they are important, but keep them in a reserved state and never be loud with them. Never let them control you.
Sex is used to sell us things. We are told sex is bad. We are not told what to do with the paradox. The pressure cooker begins to boil.
Sex drive is a powerful force that can be turned, but one should never attempt to shut it off. Realize when you are allowing your drives to control you. The choice then is simple – focus the energy elsewhere or let it run rampant. The drives within you are not faucets! Trying to deny them or shut them off will cause the pressure cooker to explode into uncertain directions. This paradox, denial/drive, is the cause of the imbalance that manifests in misdirected and inappropriate action. Rape is a crime of violence that is disguised as a sex crime.
Fear and Anger are two emotions that are forever linked. If you feel that you are more powerful than whatever is messing with your reality, you will become angry. If the perception is that you are weaker, you will feel fear. Learning the connection is as simple as reading the lines that I have just written. Application of what is learned comes when you can adjust your perceptions of what your reality actually is composed of, and allow it to be just that. Do what you can, do not attempt to do what you can not, and remain aware of the difference.
Those who find themselves angry with God for the loss of a loved one or perceived misfortune in life have forgotten what their place is in the universe. Death comes… get over it. Our lives are what we make of them. Sometimes we are forced to come up with very creative ways to ‘make our lives.’ Our willingness to do what is required to achieve a goal is the mirror for us to show how badly we really want what we tell ourselves we want.
Sadness will also come into your life. There is no quick pain reliever for it. Time does not heal all wounds; it only puts more experiences between what causes you to be sad and now. This is a time when there can be bad meditation. The focus placed on your sadness can only be continued by you as long as you let it. Whenever those you care about must go – remember that they have taught you all that you need to know from them except for one final lesson; how to grieve for them and move on.
I have spoken of fear, anger, sadness, and how drives in conflict can affect them. I have not spoken of happiness. I did not leave this till last for effect. I almost forgot to even talk on the subject. This tells me volumes about myself. I don’t know what to tell you with regard on how to find happiness. I find it hard to believe that I have led an unhappy life. I drank and hurt others and myself for many years; I got sober and began to face life. I was married once; then I married one more time. I have lived my life preparing for war; I have only the loyalty and trust in the faces of my soldiers to show for the 22 years I spent toward this goal. On actually being in a combat environment, I find it much less than my TV-colored expectations were leading me to believe; I am safe from harm. My life is not always as I would want it; but as far as what I want, I have discovered that once I have what I sought it is rarely as it seemed. I held my son the day he was born…
In the bad vs. good chart I always seem at least one up on the good side. This lack of apparent extremes in my life can only come from following my own “Way” and some may not see the benefit of it. They, as you, must find your own “Way”.
I will never tell you that hope is useless. I will never tell you that your dreams will not come true. You do need to know, however, that I come from a place where I have found that both are true. I have discovered two additional facts as well. This understanding is painful. It hurts to realize that you have been working toward a goal and it does not happen or is nothing like you had wished. Secondly, this pain can be turned off. Our most primitive attitudes are what drive us – and can cause us the most pain. It takes a little work but, you can overcome the attitude of ‘I want, I want’ that is causing the disillusionment and the pain recedes.
I will tell you to hope your hopes and dream your dreams. More may come true for you than has for me. I cannot, nor would I want to, give you my limits. Yours will be different and you will grow when you discover them.
Four conditions will drain a man’s power reserves: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. Always be aware of your own power level. Sometimes a man has to do whatever needs to be done to make those around him be quiet and go away. Sometimes you can stand up for what you think is right.
More often than not, you can be right or have peace. It is a rare, wise man or a tyrant who can force both at the same time. Each type of man is mutually exclusive; you can be one or the other.
It is said that “perception is reality” and this is true. What others see as true is often hard to change. What we see, we feel is “the way it really is”. Believe with caution for it is powerful and will affect your whole life. Wisdom comes when we realize that we, as well as others, aren’t always right.
“An object weighing one thousand pounds can be moved with but one ounce of force.” - Chinese proverb
