SFCHeadShot's blog: "Brain-Droppings"

This one has been rattling around in my mind for a while now, but the news today finally clinched it. The report out of Iraq stated that an organized group of bad guys hit the Ministry of Education and captured a pile of people and spirited them off to some unknown location. There have been many threats against the university professors in Iraq over the past months. In Afghanistan, the Taliban and other Anti-Govt groups have been blowing up schools [with and without kids in them]… I believe we are not in a ‘War on Terror’ - we are in a ‘War over the Stupid People’. Whoever gets the most stupid people on their side wins. The bad guys want to keep folks stupid in order to swell the ranks of suicide bombers and militants. We, generally, want to try to improve medical care and education to allow people to make up their own damn minds about how they want to live. We don’t try to tell anybody what God they should worship. We don’t even tell them to install a ‘carbon-copy-of-America’ type of government. We just try to provide an environment where they can figure out how they want their system to look, feel, taste, and smell, and we do this by providing as much security as we are capable of. I’m in a nation right now that has a 33% literacy rate… one out of every three people here CAN READ THEIR OWN LANGUAGE! Most of those are here in Kabul. The out-laying, bass-akwards villages are full to the brim with folks that are incapable of reading their own Koran. They don’t know what the book says [it is written in Arabic by the way, not Dari or Pashto] so they follow any silver-tongued Mullah who says he can read it. They get all fired up when someone tells them that some infidel somewhere may have touched a Koran after shaking hands with some other infidel who may have eaten a pork-chop once. They don’t do this on their own… they are coaxed into frenzy by some instigator. “Yes, right here - it says Jihad!” “Ok, guess we gotta Jihad now…” …and off they go. Is there any way we can fight this? I think there is, but… [there’s always a ‘but’ isn’t there] we need to provide assistance to create an education system better than American public schools to do it. This is going to be tough because, well, our public school system is not held up as some kind of shining example by any stretch… The only other alternative is something that the ‘civilized’ world just doesn’t seem prepared to stomach… slaughter every last one of em. It’s not that it is an ‘all of them’ or ‘all of us’ kind of thing… but at last count it was about a dozen to five in the UK, a few dozen to [?] in Spain, a couple hundred to ten in India, and over 5000 to 19 in America… How much of this are we, as a world, prepared to tolerate? How much before we help make them smart enough to decide their own future or decide it for them… As with all of these - comment on them for me. If I’m chewed up, blind, or misguided… how the hell would I know?

Search your soul for the responsibility required to own a pet. If there is ANY doubt of your capability, do not get one. A dog should be chosen with great care. You are its means of food. You are the source of its affection. You are its teacher. It must look to you as the leader and obey you. If it does not, kill it. Your cat can be picked while blind folded. No matter what you do, a cat will act superior and believe you are here to serve it. Play with and pet either one often. The calm that comes from the look of love in a dog’s eyes or in a cat’s purr cannot be achieved anywhere else. If you find a similarity between your dog and your children as well as your cat and your wife, you have touched understanding. My father left when I was five or so. I had no such guide as this to work from, either verbal or written. I received my step-father when I was 14 and had already chosen my path and begun my journey. My stumbling through the dark, discovering who I was and how life was to be for me, led me to this place I am now as I write this. My travels are not yet over, but right now I am exactly where I am supposed to be. As it is, my life will not allow me to have children without doing all I can to prevent what happened to me. Everyone can teach you something if you look hard enough – either how to do something or how not to do it. Whatever path you choose after this is yours, alone. There are many heroes that can mentor us or that we can emulate. Some people, however, have been put on this planet only to serve as a warning to others. If you're paying attention, you soon figure out that children are small, wonderful, noisy mirrors of all of your good and bad mannerisms. The corollary is that no matter how hard you try, you are the total of your parent’s mannerisms, good and bad, that you have chosen to keep. “Never raise your hand to your children… it leaves your groin unprotected!” - Anonymous

Emotions move us with force. Control them. This is not to say, shut them down completely. That may be the only control you have in the beginning, but as with Martial Arts, practice yields control. Feel them all for they are important, but keep them in a reserved state and never be loud with them. Never let them control you. Sex is used to sell us things. We are told sex is bad. We are not told what to do with the paradox. The pressure cooker begins to boil. Sex drive is a powerful force that can be turned, but one should never attempt to shut it off. Realize when you are allowing your drives to control you. The choice then is simple – focus the energy elsewhere or let it run rampant. The drives within you are not faucets! Trying to deny them or shut them off will cause the pressure cooker to explode into uncertain directions. This paradox, denial/drive, is the cause of the imbalance that manifests in misdirected and inappropriate action. Rape is a crime of violence that is disguised as a sex crime. Fear and Anger are two emotions that are forever linked. If you feel that you are more powerful than whatever is messing with your reality, you will become angry. If the perception is that you are weaker, you will feel fear. Learning the connection is as simple as reading the lines that I have just written. Application of what is learned comes when you can adjust your perceptions of what your reality actually is composed of, and allow it to be just that. Do what you can, do not attempt to do what you can not, and remain aware of the difference. Those who find themselves angry with God for the loss of a loved one or perceived misfortune in life have forgotten what their place is in the universe. Death comes… get over it. Our lives are what we make of them. Sometimes we are forced to come up with very creative ways to ‘make our lives.’ Our willingness to do what is required to achieve a goal is the mirror for us to show how badly we really want what we tell ourselves we want. Sadness will also come into your life. There is no quick pain reliever for it. Time does not heal all wounds; it only puts more experiences between what causes you to be sad and now. This is a time when there can be bad meditation. The focus placed on your sadness can only be continued by you as long as you let it. Whenever those you care about must go – remember that they have taught you all that you need to know from them except for one final lesson; how to grieve for them and move on. I have spoken of fear, anger, sadness, and how drives in conflict can affect them. I have not spoken of happiness. I did not leave this till last for effect. I almost forgot to even talk on the subject. This tells me volumes about myself. I don’t know what to tell you with regard on how to find happiness. I find it hard to believe that I have led an unhappy life. I drank and hurt others and myself for many years; I got sober and began to face life. I was married once; then I married one more time. I have lived my life preparing for war; I have only the loyalty and trust in the faces of my soldiers to show for the 22 years I spent toward this goal. On actually being in a combat environment, I find it much less than my TV-colored expectations were leading me to believe; I am safe from harm. My life is not always as I would want it; but as far as what I want, I have discovered that once I have what I sought it is rarely as it seemed. I held my son the day he was born… In the bad vs. good chart I always seem at least one up on the good side. This lack of apparent extremes in my life can only come from following my own “Way” and some may not see the benefit of it. They, as you, must find your own “Way”. I will never tell you that hope is useless. I will never tell you that your dreams will not come true. You do need to know, however, that I come from a place where I have found that both are true. I have discovered two additional facts as well. This understanding is painful. It hurts to realize that you have been working toward a goal and it does not happen or is nothing like you had wished. Secondly, this pain can be turned off. Our most primitive attitudes are what drive us – and can cause us the most pain. It takes a little work but, you can overcome the attitude of ‘I want, I want’ that is causing the disillusionment and the pain recedes. I will tell you to hope your hopes and dream your dreams. More may come true for you than has for me. I cannot, nor would I want to, give you my limits. Yours will be different and you will grow when you discover them. Four conditions will drain a man’s power reserves: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. Always be aware of your own power level. Sometimes a man has to do whatever needs to be done to make those around him be quiet and go away. Sometimes you can stand up for what you think is right. More often than not, you can be right or have peace. It is a rare, wise man or a tyrant who can force both at the same time. Each type of man is mutually exclusive; you can be one or the other. It is said that “perception is reality” and this is true. What others see as true is often hard to change. What we see, we feel is “the way it really is”. Believe with caution for it is powerful and will affect your whole life. Wisdom comes when we realize that we, as well as others, aren’t always right. “An object weighing one thousand pounds can be moved with but one ounce of force.” - Chinese proverb

I have discovered that I deal more easily with my regret over the things in my live that I have done, than I do with my regret over the things I have not done. Today is never the result of one choice made in one of our yesterdays. Today is the culmination of all the choices to act or not to act that we have made throughout every yesterday we have ever lived through. Regret is the narrow-mindedness that says “The Now is intolerable because of this single past circumstance.” How much do you really know about yourself if you have never been poor, been well off, been a follower, been a leader, been in a fight, been a peacemaker, been alone, been part of a larger whole, been a student, been a teacher, been wracked with fear, been consumed with hate, been drowned in sadness, been washed with joy, been baffled, or been the one who figured it out. Strive to understand who and where you are right now to help determine where you wish to go. “You are not the car you drive. You are not the clothes you wear. You are not the shit you own.” – Fight Club Also, you are not your gun or your sword. You are not your checkbook or Platinum Visa. You are not the ring on your finger. You are not the medals on your chest. The corollary of this is the discovery of self you can achieve if any of the above statements appear untrue to you.

There are four types of conversations: 1. Surface – These are the conversations on the weather, how she looks in that dress, etc. There is no meat to this. No one is persuaded. 2. Authoritarian – These are one-sided. The speaker is perceived superior and is always the speaker. The listener need only acknowledge that they are listening. This persuades, chastises, orders, or praises. 3. Technical – This is the information sharing exchange. This is an eye-to-eye sharing between perceived equals for the purpose of problem solving. 4. Penetrating – This is the deepest of communications. No subject draws ridicule. There is understanding of the very core of the speaker as well as of that which is spoken. Much of your character is revealed when you examine which of the four is the most comfortable for you and which is least comfortable. A man is no more than a shambling shell if he has no one with whom he can have a #4 conversation. Say what you really mean. When you drop hints they will not be picked up. When you ask questions to make a statement not expecting an answer, you won’t get answers when you really ask questions to ask a question. If something concerns you and a close friend asks you what is wrong, do not answer “nothing” unless you are prepared to be treated as though nothing is wrong. Do not tolerate the apparently vexed who say that nothing is wrong. Treat them as if nothing is wrong.

Conversation requires four parts. It begins with a central idea in the head of the speaker. That idea is translated into the speaker’s words and body language. Understanding then occurs in the listener and feedback is given back to the speaker by words or body language. Know which two of the four belong to you at any given moment and don’t attempt either of the other two out of turn. Having no central idea and still beginning to speak is a serious and common problem. Study our language to aid in your translation efforts and also because, like a sword, language can be used as a weapon. Have care that your ‘sword’ is not taken away and used to kill you. If you do not give feedback, the speaker will repeat himself, waste time and become irritated. Books are conversations with people who may no longer be alive. What you do from that point on with your life is your feedback. Add no additional weight to the printed word; take it just as you would if it were spoken to you personally. Take what you need and leave the rest. Do that even with this that you are reading now. These are just my words and should not carry more weight because they came from me or that I took the time to put them into writing.

Prioritize everything in your life into two categories: 1. Important – i.e. things that could cause someone you care about to bleed or die. 2. Everything else. Strive not to add extra concern to things you place under item #1 and do not take concern away from things you place under item #2. Just use this to make you more familiar with yourself. You will gain understanding into what lies behind your own actions, particularly those that baffle you, when you look at what you have in category #1 that should be in #2.

The phrase is tossed about that, “Every life has value…” The end of this line that has been forgotten is that “the value of a life is set by the owner.” This is the same for everyone. Just as a shopkeeper sets the prices for his goods, every person sets the value of his or her own life. If a thug attempts to rob a store he has set the value of his life below that of the amount of money he hopes to get in the robbery. Who am I to argue with him? If the storeowner dies in the robbery it is because he failed to set the value of his life higher through proper preparation. He has placed the value of his life below the value of the, at least, psychologically prepared robber’s. Anyone attempting violent action against me or near me toward an innocent has set the value of their lives at some multiple of 9¢. This multiple, coincidentally, equals the number of .45 caliber Federal Hydro-Shock rounds it takes me to kill them (2 per person at a minimum).

The Modern American Male has a couple of problems facing him. Puritans, escaping persecution, started what became our American society. They had intense, fanatical, religious beliefs that were passed on to the next generations. We are the only nation to claim an area called “The Bible Belt” and be proud of this fact. We are taught that sex is bad and dirty. We are taught that the body is something to be covered. Because of this baseline, television has limits on what it can entertain us with. The entire aspect of sex is glossed over or only hinted at in our television shows. We are instead given adventure as an entertainment. As a result, we are more comfortable watching two people trying to kill each other than two people having sex. This does not change whether we are in front of our parents or children. Our sex drive, however, is still there. We would really like to watch (or take part in) sex. Advertisers will tease us with innuendo, scantily clad people, and sexual overtones. The lesson becomes - Sex is bad, but we will use it to sell you stuff. The corollary is - Killing is bad, but we will entertain you with it. This is the paradox, and it is problematic. The vent that must occur is often at the cost of some ‘sacred’ social norms. We as a nation have the highest percentage of rape, a violent crime with sexual factors. We, as a nation, are a breading ground for serial killers and were the first to invent the job of ‘FBI Profiler’ the counter that fact. We invented the ‘drive-by shooting’ and are raising children who think this is a good way to problem-solve. Our children are having children these days because sex is bad and a drive all at the same time. They don’t talk to us about what they are feeling because we are both uncomfortable even talking about sex. We are all born instinctually capable of figuring out sex and its basic mechanics. Babies occur. Anorexia and bulimia come from a low self-worth someone develops because of their comparison of self and the plastic, TV people or the bad/good sex paradox. We get into deep debt to accumulate objects to make ourselves feel better because the advertisers said we’d be sexier once we owned them. We gamble on get-rich-quick schemes, in the casinos of Las Vegas, or on the weekly Lotto drawing to get the money to buy the lives we see others living on TV. We devour the plastic reality of the World Wrestling Federation where we can see others doing what we cannot because of the violence is wrong/entertainment paradox. We know the TV is nothing but fantasy. We can see through it from the age of ten. Ask any teenage boy/man you find on the urban streets. He knows the TV shows him that the police always catch the bad guy in 30 to 60 minutes. He knows that you can “Just say No” and that HIV can kill. He also notices that the local drug dealer usually walks out of the courtroom smiling and gets into his Mercedes. He sees the crack mother and her five children from different fathers getting the welfare check for doing nothing. He also sees his girlfriend. She is wearing a halter top and painted on jeans because it seems to be OK to tease according to advertising. Another predatory boy/man is attempting modern human mating ritual while talking to her. This threatens his territory and the sex drive gives rise to his perceived need to defend by attack. He may or may not know that both drives are fraught with danger. He can’t fight either for long and is told by society that neither is the proper way. Paradox. “You have to have a license to own a dog, or catch a fish, but any butthead can be a parent.” - Keanu Reeves in Parenthood. As a nation, we are failing to pass on to those we have created, the wisdom of our experiences and also given to us by those who only wished for us to have a better life than they did. We have become trapped ourselves by the paradox of the TV. My blood roils in my veins while watching a realistic gunfight/martial art/sword play on the boob-tube. The more carnage, the more realistic the gunshot wounds, the more accurate the tactics, the more aroused it makes me. I feel more comfortable viewing this with my two children than ‘Debbie does Dallas’ or flipping through the latest issue of Maxim. My family has been briefed on several occasions concerning the steps, tactics, and location of the household weapons required to clear our home if an intruder attempts entry. The standing order is: “the intruder(s) don’t make it out the door alive!” I think we may have covered what to do if the house catches fire, once, maybe. I speak of the paradox from inside the paradox. This is my qualification. These words are my attempt to salvage the wisdom I was given and add what I have learned. I must prevent the loss of continuity between my generation of men and the next. It must be stated that this is only MY perception and MY random brain droppings. There is no altruism. There may be bits that have a universal value. There may be some insights into the inner workings of humanity. There may not be… It is for you to decide what to take and what to leave behind. “Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see with your own eyes” is a good motto.