Well we got the confirmation that pumpkin was a blyte ovium. A empty sac. The last few weeks for me have been horrible but my love has been amazing and there for me. Eventually we will try. The dr's told me 3 weeks ago my body could miscarry at any time and I was expecting it alot sooner. Instead my body keep making hormones and giving me symptoms for about 3 weeks. This is very heart breaking for me as I was exciting on giving my children a new sibling. Time will heal my broken heart but for now the torture of going thru postpardom will be set for a few weeks. Im fortunate to have a amazing man by my side to help me thru it.
I apologize for my abscense as this is really haed for me
As I hand my graduation Stole to my friend Amanda tomorrow this is what I am going to say to her:
This is my Stole of Gratitude. Every graduate at times has a special person who has been for them thru financial or moral support. I have a lot of friends and family here who have supported in me in my academics ( hell a lot of you thought I was crazy or laughed it off)
However there has been one who has been there for me 100 percent.
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
Typically a sole is worn at commencement but the person isn’t able to make it there so therefore I am giving this sole to this person now.
Im giving this sole to Amanda. She has been there for me from the very start and still with me here at this finish. As I give this to you I say this…
You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.
You have given me so much support out of everyone that it has taught me the true meaning of friendship. You have gone out of your way to help me and with helping me helping yourself.
My wish for you is to move forward and be more than an advocate for your sons, but for other kids who parents cant advocate for them. You kindness and strength will help you thru the way and I will be there to help with every step.
Please take this stole as gratitude and thanks for helping me in my academics and hopefully it will peruse you to restart your own.
Real life isn’t always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgement of what is working in our lives can help us not only to survive but surmount our difficulties.
Although I had a rough morning and after the funeral it really sucked. I went out last evening and had a amazing time with my family.
Ran into some old friends and I forgot what it was like to have fun. Laugh and just enjoy myself. Made me relate and evaulate to my own needs which is fun. Not to worry about things. So Im just gonna be carefree and enjoy myself. I cant control others actions now will I try. Have a few days next week where Im gonna hang out with friends and just enjoy life. Which means less time here on Fu and more outside with the people who have supported me and to the ones who showed me unconiditional support in my weaksest point. Universal Florida is in Novemeber my kids are going to have a blast. In Dec. the trip my sis and I are going to. Greece here we come! Heads gonna roll, back to myself and Im in control.. Take a step back its jungle out there
As a psychological observation
Typically when something happens bad in any family you see someone at their weakest moment. Even tho I am a grief counselor/psychologist I have my faults and am not perfect. However why is it I am suppose to maintain my emotions and not get upset? I find that to be a very double standard. You also find out who are the ones who love and care for you in your moment of weakness. When you need someone are they there? I have been there for all of the remaining children of my grandmother. Mind you she had 17. She has 7 children remaining, their children grandchildren great etc. And not one of these woman have been there for me. My mother went into her shell and stopped talking to the world. My aunts and their children have become green with greed and tried to vulturize what they can. The moment came when the executor was annouced and it was me. They were all told to get out of her home and to put back everything they took. As whispers go thru the wake and funeral I have made my mind to make them wait 6 months to read the will. Since by then they will be able to think with a unelevated hormone levels.
I do have some amazing friends and my sister has been great. But I feel alone in this. Some say Im hard to please. No not really. Just that I need unconditional support through this. Not to be seen as a dr, but a woman who had to take care of everything yet again because her family cant be level in making conscience decisions. Im human and living in a world that is damned.
Its not a great feeling to feel alone.
Ok Guys and Ladies. This is just an in general thing. An observation, so I want some opinions on this little trial here. If you were to start to see someone here on Fubar; would you make it public? Or would you think it would ruin your game as in getting points.. bling etc? I have seen where some people have annouced they are with someone and it didnt affect them. But I have been told by others it did affect them. My in general thing is if the feelings were strong enough to where you loved that person I personally would include them in some way. If the other person didnt what would you personally think?
btw THIS has no personal affiliation with anyone or anything. Just a what would you think
Dr. Micca
New life New me, Im free to be myself. Im free to be me. I have been gone from fubar/cherrytap for over 2 1/2 years. I went thru a rough time and my ex wouldnt let me go. Finally I broke free of his evil talons and I can be me. I am happy. And living my life. I have had a transformation of changes in my life.
Not only the weight loss but my attitude in life has change. Im so happy and enjoying life. Leaving him set me free. And I couldn't be happier.