bratty b a e's blog: "Writings and thoughts on D/s"

Have you been or are you in a Dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you? Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? How were they the same? How were they different? What is unique about your relationships in your mind?

I have been in Dominant/submissive relationships before and I am currently in a dynamic relationship that still has many of the nuances of a Dominant/submissive dynamic. I have been in more than one D/s relationship.  One thing they all had in common was that for my agreement to submit, my consent to being the inferior one, I was always made a priority. I was always cared for and looked after. Another thing all but this current relationship had in common was that I lived it 24/7 and I cohabitated with the dominant partner.  By that I was given special treatment and my feelings were always taken into consideration. While there were many similarities, there was an equally number of differences. My first D/s relationship was a hardcore, crash into the lifestyle. Neither one of U/us knew what we were doing but it was, at least for me, instinctual. It ended ugly because for all the aspects of D/s, neither one of us knew the importance of communication. As the years rolled on, it seemed that I always looked for strong men, men who exerted a dominant personality so that my need to submit, my need to acquiesce could be nurtured. Unfortunately, most of those relationships ended with me being the only one willing to give and work for the relationship and in the end they became less of a D/s nature and more like a bad vanilla relationship. What was once good for me became toxic. The relationship I have with the Dom I am with now, is unlike any D/s relationship I have been if before. It has the guise of D/s, or should I say M/s.

If I had to say what the one thing that stands out about each of my relationships, I would say this:

The first one was very much a Daddy/baby girl relationship. Sir was strict though, there were rules that if broken brought harsh and swift punishment. It was sometimes borderline abuse. My second relationship with a dominant personality didn’t come for several years and we were together 12 years total before it ended. He also had a Daddy complex and was by far and still is the best caregiver this sub has ever had. We still remain friends to this day. The 2 next dominant personalities were both full of anger and mistrust, so living with them was never easy and no matter how hard I tried to please them, it was never good enough. Those also had a lot of vanilla in them too. The relationship I currently have with Daddy is complicated and messy. I’ve never had a D/s relationship like this one, where there is poly involved and I am not the number 1. That, in itself, make this the most unique of relationships.

So much has changed in the year since i first answered this question. Yet, so much is still the same. The dynamic i am in now has grown, W/we become more solid in some respects, but less in others. It’s still messy and ugly and the man i call Daddy is always the Dom i had hoped for. The best Dominant Type A personality, i have ever been with, the one i was with for 12 years, has since this was first wrote, passed away from the least likely Dominant thing: suicide. It’s left a gaping hole in a lot of lives. The relationship between my 1^st Dom and i is almost non existant, but that’s as it should be. If i had to say what was unique about my dynamic with Daddy now compared to a year ago is that He’s become more hands on, stricter with me. What He’s not done is demonstrate to me that He’s truly a person that sets rules for others and doesn’t back down. His wife rules Him in a way that forces me to almost have one foot out the door. How can He Dominate me, when He has no control in own home? Maybe that’s why He likes to control me. Because it’s obvious from everyone who knows O/our situation, including myself that He’s weak willed when it comes to that wife. i know that i fulfill something in Him that He’s not getting from home. He’s fulfilling something in me too, but i also know that i could get that same fulfillment from Another. i just don’t know if i could feel the same. Although, the longer my weak Dom takes to find His balls, the more disenchanted and resentful, this girl feels. He’s going to lose me one day if things don’t change. 

My sister, Kayla, has been released.....for now, so i do not have a response from her.