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three questions i have to begin with.....1.) how can it be that a guy can have children but when it comes to their care total strangers have the right to tell them they have no rights without custody?.....what kind of society do we live in where a woman has total control over your kids unless you can prove them unfit but all they have to do is tell a dhs or cps worker you are an alchoholic and with out ever meeting you they rule in their favor......2.) why does it take the loss of a child to get dhs involved enough to just check the welfare of your other kids.......my youngest son is dead ...he was found in the trunk of her car and a lightbulb went off for dhs finally that something might be wrong...good god how retarded is that i have a friend who works for the osbi in oklahoma and he told me that dhs and cps have had 40 reports of suspected abuse against my ex and not one single visit was ever paid to her home in the last 7 years......3.) anyone got a method of mending my heart as well as my mind ? ..... i never asked much from anyone in life except for love and all i have to show for it is heartache and self loathing.....because of unforseen circumstances i was unable to see my kids for a long time and for that i am beating myself up....my son had no idea how i felt about him and he died leaving me with that knowledge to kick myself over...i cant help but to think had i been there that maybe he would have been with me and still been alive today as i had visitation on holidays and i never would have NOT known where he was at all times.....while we are on the subject...i am not an alcoholic i do drink but only socially or when its a special occasion...i actually had not taken a drink in almost a year because i didnt really have anything to celebrate then i was forced to make a change in my life and moved to south carolina(which is awesome because i am a panthers fan) and i drank to celebrate my new life and starting over......should be noted that when i met my ex i was an alcoholic i was depressed over losing my mentor and childhood protector Bill he was my greatest friend and ally in life when i was growing up...at that time all i did was sleep work drink and passout.....i was killing myself slowly and it was made even harder because the only support i had was the people who kept handing me beer and bottles of whiskey....they liked me better when i was drunk because i forgot and would have fun but it was no way to live so i left the temptation behind as well as my children and i kicked the habit....took me 2 years and alot of torture but i made it back to sober and now i can drink if i want but i dont have to drink....so i guess i should say i deserved what i got from past experiences with me but i didnt deserve getting railroaded is all....if they had taken time to meet me they would have seen i was trying to fix my life...people are just to quick to judge based on what others say which makes them a coward and anyone who spreads it is no better than them.....nuff said thanks for reading
