There are four types of conversations:
1. Surface – These are the conversations on the weather, how she looks in that dress, etc. There is no meat to this. No one is persuaded.
2. Authoritarian – These are one-sided. The speaker is perceived superior and is always the speaker. The listener need only acknowledge that they are listening. This persuades, chastises, orders, or praises.
3. Technical – This is the information sharing exchange. This is an eye-to-eye sharing between perceived equals for the purpose of problem solving.
4. Penetrating – This is the deepest of communications. No subject draws ridicule. There is understanding of the very core of the speaker as well as of that which is spoken.
Much of your character is revealed when you examine which of the four is the most comfortable for you and which is least comfortable. A man is no more than a shambling shell if he has no one with whom he can have a #4 conversation.
Say what you really mean. When you drop hints they will not be picked up. When you ask questions to make a statement not expecting an answer, you won’t get answers when you really ask questions to ask a question.
If something concerns you and a close friend asks you what is wrong, do not answer “nothing” unless you are prepared to be treated as though nothing is wrong. Do not tolerate the apparently vexed who say that nothing is wrong. Treat them as if nothing is wrong.
