From back in the day
So recently many people have suggested that I start blogging again, well with a bit more frequency than I have been. Well nothing much is going on in my life.
Work, come home, sleep repeat. Do the dad thing every other week and that is about it for my life right now normal - well minus all the drama that happens in my life with the RIAA lawsuit, my mother hating me yadda yadda yadda
So to find anything worth writing about I either have to bitch and complain like you need to hear my problems or get all political or write about stuff that has already happened.
I picked C for today boys and girls, ladies and gents, people of all ages. Because I was reminded of a story of how the military some times messes up orders when I was talking with a person at work whose son is in the military and his orders got screwed up.
So this one is from back in my days in the military, yes I was once a member of our nations armed forces you may remember a period of time some years ago when felt really safe and nothing bad could happen. Well that was when I was in the military and that is why you felt really safe. Not the point of the story or the story at all.
While I was in there were a large assortment of people I was serving with and one of my friends Jay was call Budda pronounced Buddha. yes I know it isn’t spelled like Buddha but that is how it was said . Budda was thusly named because he
1) was a war comic book fan,
2) always wanted the machine gun
3) the word war comics put in for machine gun fire is Budda as in BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA and really big on the page
So every one called Jay Budda, oh and by the way like normal Jay’s name isn’t really Jay but we did call him Budda I change real names to protect people in my stories
Well Budda was a cool guy and was fun to be around and funny as all hell. The entire Flight (platoon for you non air force people) was really sad when Budda got sick. Really sick
He had to go to the hospital on the base and didn’t get any better for a long time. Was then sent to a larger hospital in Germany and treated him there for a while. Well the other hospital was far enough away that most of us couldn’t visit Budda very often. Then we get the news that Budda had died.
WTF? Yeah no kidding we have a ceremony and send his family our deepest sympathies.
Well about 6 months later give or take. I was patrolling on the base and I see BUDDA walking on the base. I’m like WTF? I stop the car. Get out and Budda says, Hey Goose whatcha doing I was called Goose in the military and not invisible don as in the last story I wrote about cursing in Russian. So I say, You’re dead. Because at this point I’m wondering Ok
1. I’m dead and Budda is here to help me - ironic that I’m Buddhist and Budda is coming to meet me.
2. I’m going insane and having audio and visual hallucinations
I don’t remember dying so I’m going with I’m insane for the moment.
Budda says What?
I say, You are dead Budda what are you doing here.
Budda says, I was in a US hospital.
I say what?
Budda says, yeah they shipped me there from the hospital here because I wasn’t getting any better there either and this other hospital in the US had the idea that they could treat me and had access to other doctors that aren’t over here.
Ok now I’m thinking I’m not dead and probably not insane. Because as the military is known it has some major SNAFU’s. The term comes from the military because they happen so often. SNAFU means if you don’t know
Situation
Normal
All
FUCKED
Up
This is a MAJOR SNAFU, Major still just means really big even in the military unless you are talking rank and it’s a middle rank but up there.
Budda you have to come with me. He says What again. I said I’ll explain on the way so I take him to the Flight Chief and explain they told us you died and we sent sympathy cards to your mother. Then I’m like when was the last time you talked to your mother?
Budda rubbed his chin, he did actually do that all the time and says I guess about a year ago. Oh man major FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Reason) Also has it’s roots in military mistakes
So this has gone from Snafu to Major Snafu to the end all beat all Snafu Fubar of the century.
I get Budda to the Flight Chief and have him wait outside because not everyone deals well with the dead coming back to life and all. So I walk in ask for permission to speak freely and then I say Sir I think we have a situation. Situation means really big problem in the military.
The Flight Chief says Well what is it
I say, do you remember Sgt. Budda?
Yes he died.
I say no he didn’t.
What the fuck are you talking about?
He is standing outside I just saw him on the base he is here, he was in the US.
FC. You are fucking shitting me.
In the military fuck is used in most nearly every sentence. I’ll edit for content sake
No Sir he is here and Sir his mother isn’t aware that his isn’t dead.
The FC is still not really quiet grasping the fact that Budda is alive. You know that look a dog does when they look at you sideways. All confused. Well the FC looks like this now. I told you most people don’t deal well with the dead coming back to life it doesn’t happen. Well that one time but other than that jesus guy not so much . So I figure the only way to snap the FC back out of the doggy stare is to bring Budda in to the room
TA DAH as if by magic, fucking magic at that. This is the military and all.
Well the flight chiefs next sentence consisted mainly of the f word in ways that I had never heard them before and more often than I had heard, ending with the phrase someone’s fuckin head will roll for this.
Heads roll often in the military, more so when there is a SNAFU or a FUBAR involved.
Well to make a longer story short. Budda was alive. His Mama found out he was alive and she was very happy. Budda got to go on leave because of the major snafu and see his mama and was actually offered an early discharge and compensation for pain and suffering.
Heads did roll though. Some one who handles military orders some how never sent the hospital transfer papers through the chain of command. Then when our duty station had to do it’s accounting of troops it was reported that Budda was gone. That person took gone to mean DEAD not transferred. So they killed him on paperwork
There was a congressional inquiry and all sorts of mean ugly nasty things going on and heads did roll. Budda and I got to have a beer or two or ten before he went back home. I wonder if he laughs about that, probably. Anyway that story made the mom here feel better about her son’s one week delay in coming home over a minor mistake in his orders.
