Vampire Tiberius Constantine's blog: "invisibledon"

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In the vampire game I'm only 68 clicks away from getting an award please help me if you would like, just one simple click and then I'll be closer to getting the award. Please and thank you. So if you want to be bitten by a vampire click Here If not thank you for reading. invisible don AKA Tiberius Constantine the vampire AKA King of the Bastards

I haven’t written a lot of anything lately. I need to return many emails, I haven’t been blogging and the few e-mails I have sent it seems that cyberspace has eaten and are lost in the void. So if I haven’t written to you lately I will, If I’ve sent you something and you didn’t get it I’m sorry, If you have been wondering about what is going on in my life and why I haven’t been around that is my fault and my choice. I’m not trying to avoid anyone or anything for that matter. I have been searching and trying to make sense of so many things in my life and juggling a lot of chaos. No I don’t think my life is so bad most of the time. There are things I wish I could change, things I wish were different, things I wish I knew the answer too and some things I’m just trying to come to terms with and except them for what they are in the world. I’m just trying to find my place in the universe. Perhaps that is a pretty tall order. Trying to find yourself in something so vast as the universe. As Douglas Adams wrote in one of his novels and I’ll paraphrase, the universe is so vast, so big in deed that if you took the size of the universe and the number of living things in the universe and compared the two numbers size verses the number living things the population of the universe would be zero. That is how large the universe is, pretty scary. We live in a place so big that our existence is nothing. And not just me, all living things. So if all living things amount to nothing in the universe what does one person amount too in something so big. I would suggest that if you take any anti-depression medication not to ponder on that thought for too long or those little happy pills may seem to be a lot less helpful after a bit. Ponder away though I have. What does it all mean and why. Where is my place in it all. Hell for that matter on a much smaller scale. What does it all mean just to me and those closest too me. I wonder about that and get so few answers. I see them sometimes in smiles and in a few words. However mostly I don’t see that in the faces most important too me. I think too about love and what it all means. But it’s more and if you are reading this, most likely it’s not about you. If by chance the one person who I worry about most is reading this … there is so much more that I want to be able to say to you but somehow all those doors are closing. Some of them are supposed to be closed now and I know that. However there should still be a door to walk threw now and then. Somewhere we can still talk. Somehow to reach out and say the things that are there but are unsaid. If you are reading, but I know you aren’t. I spend more time thinking about you than anyone or anything else in the world right now. You mean so much more to me than I think you ever will understand. And perhaps one day you will or at least that is my hope. I fear that you are lost on your journey and while there are parts of that I can’t help you with there are still many more miles that I can be there to say left instead of right. Or push instead of pull. Or just stop for a second and listen to the wind. Love doesn’t just happen, it isn’t a magic spell, or a wish we make. It is the hardest thing in the universe to build. It takes trust, respect, listening and conversation. It needs to be worked on every day. Some days it only needs a light dusting other days major repairs and renovations. However it is fragile too and while it breaks it never really dies and that is the worst part about love. True love anyway, that it never dies. Unconditional love even if unreturned never dies but it does cause pain. Because love needs to be coupled with other people and without it turns to shards which cut and gash. But never dies. Sorrow is the opposite of love not hate. Loss and emptiness not bitterness and jealousy. Those are others emotions unrelated to love I wish I knew more about it though what I do know is that it can’t be bought in a store, or paid for no matter how much you offer. You do have to work for it though It can’t be measured in carats, or dollar signs or in the number of things Funny how love can make you seem lighter than air one minute and heavier than lead the next Strong or weak. Beautiful or ugly Wanted or unwanted Needed or useless. Found or lost I keep looking for that open door and hope that you know no matter how far or long There is always love here for you.

I was pondering about some things here lately So recently I was watching the X-files movie. Yes I had seen it before, yes I was a fan when it was a show, yes I lamented it ending … not the point. My thoughts were about aliens and our presumptions about these so called extra terrestrial beings. We assume they are more advanced than we are We assume they are more intelligent than we are We assume they are humanoid. We make many assumptions about our would be extra terrestrial brethren However who sees these people and where do they go Yes you are thinking it Let it warm up a bit in your mind The only people who ever really see them or are abducted by them seem to have an IQ in the standard deviation or two below average. Now you are almost there. These so called advanced aliens hang out in trailer parks and essentially go cow tipping Now my question here is there are really a lot more nicer places to hang out on this mud ball than trailer parks And for that matter more interesting animals than the run of the mill bovine. These aliens are pretty much just a bunch of drunken frat boys looking for trashy white girls in the trailer park and going cow tipping and punishing drunken rednecks for shooting up their shinny space ships. anyway that is where my mind has been recently oh and I was right about that thing at work see one of the previous blogs if you are confused.

My blogging gap hasn’t been as long this time. Spending time with my son. My daughter is still living with my mother. They seem to be getting along for not which is good I hope that they will continue to get along. Found out some things that I’m not really happy about and also was not surprised to find out. My family immediate and extended if all brought together would make for a seasons worth of TV shows, well my cousin already did that and only really just touched the surface of things. I may start doing a high lights of my family thing. I think the classic was when the peacemaker got a restraining order on the beta unit. If you don’t know who they are sorry, you’ll have to pull out your handy dandy invisible don decoder ring. For those of you how haven’t yet received your invisible don decoder ring you’ll just have to ask who is who. Meanwhile back at the invisible fortress things are just dandy. I have one thing going on at work that has me a bit confused and I’m not getting into it right now. I’ll just say that I think I’m right but being right isn’t everything. Which leaves me with the question, Why? Many things are leaving me that question why lately and no one seems to have an answer or have an answer and aren’t willing to say what it is. I’m asking Why not a little at a time. No need in pissing off karma you know I have enough negative points there from somewhere. Started a new project last night. Hopefully and I’ll leave it at that. More later, as always play nice in the neighborhood Ciao

Well some of you may know this and some of you may not. My daughter has gone to live with my mother. I am not very happy about this and as a parent I miss her very much. This is a rather complicated thing and I’m not really sure what all to say about it all. Teens push their boundaries and test limits I know this so my daughter is closer to 16 now but is still 15. I have seen her make very good choices and also some pretty dumb ones. Who hasn’t done that as a teenager. She has made more good ones than bad ones and I’m very proud of her for who she is as a person. She really does try not to follow the flock, herd group and remain her own person. Which has in many cases left her standing on the outside because most of her peers aren’t strong enough to go against the group or their friends when they don’t agree with them. Doodle will and has not played along just because and said things which has in some cases placed her on the outside of a group because she won’t just blindly follow along. I am proud of her for that, However I have also seen this make her question if it is worth it or not when the people she thought were her friend abandon her because she stands up for her own principles and doesn’t cave in to peer pressure. I have also seen the opposite of this where she has given in to peer pressure and done things which I sure she wishes she had not done. I won’t get into those because those are her things to talk about or not to talk about. I’ve tried to be supportive of her in everything she has done right or wrong and to let her know that when she makes mistakes she is still my daughter and I love her regardless of what she did or didn’t do. It’s a fine line you have to walk as a parent with kids, especially teens. Then in my situation which is by no mean unique in the US that she has parents who don’t live together and one of them who will not cooperate in coparenting from separate households. Doodle choose not to live with her mother following things her mother said to her which I don’t know she has ever forgiven her. So for two and half years she live with me while her brother went back and forth spending a week with me and a week with her. I encouraged my daughter to attempt to make amends with her mother and she may have at some point. I know had the roles been reversed that her mother, CPG, would not have done the same thing. Does not do the same thing. Her mother still continues to undermine my relationship with my children and thinks of herself first in every situation before the children. I don’t put my kids first because I have to, I do it because I want to and I see being a father as the most important thing I do every day. Yes I make mistakes I’m not perfect and I never have said that I am nor do I think I’m better than anyone else. However many people accuse me of this including my ex. While it pains me everyday for my daughter to be living so far away I’m trying to accept that this is something she feels that she needs to do to find out who she will be later in life. I try to find the positive in the situation and there are several. She is in a new school but has several relatives there and people she has known for a number of years. Even as the new kid in school she knows people and has made friends with a few others. She does experience the new kid things especially as a girl. My daughter is attractive and this is a fathers nightmare, however it is also nightmarish for a teen age girl. Because other teen girls see her as a threat first to “stealing the attention of boys” rather than as a person. Guys do the same thing but not to the extent that girls do this. She is living with a family member who she has always had a close relationship with and has a job. Something I couldn’t encourage her to do here despite numerous efforts. So there are a lot of good things going on yet I miss her terribly every day. I tell her these things and also still try to encourage her to be her own person. Hard to put that want as a parent to have your children in your lives and letting them explore who they want to be. To end this on a happier note. I went to she her cheer at a football game this week. Yes she is a cheerleader. Yes I did say she isn’t a follower earlier and she still isn’t one. She is her own person out there on the field in her squad and she is a team player. You can do both. While the others girls are stiff and rehearsed in their movements I see my daughter enjoying herself and being herself in facial expressions and her demeanor. At the end of the game the football team got beat rather soundly too. Well the opposing team’s cheer leaders decided to yell taunts to my daughters squad. Well they responded yelling back in true cheerleader fashion. All the cheerleader are yelling were number one even though the score board clearly states that not so much today. My daughter isn’t yelling we’re number one she is yelling bring it and is throwing out gang signs and grabbing her crotch and being all urban thug to a bunch of Westby god cheerleaders. Now my daughter isn’t a thug and isn’t in a gang but I think she recognized that the cheerleaders really had nothing to do with the score at the end of the game and wasn’t going to be the dower little girl to taunts Not my proudest moment as a dad seeing my daughter be all urban thug but not my worst nightmare either because she is her own person and I would like to think I played some role in giving her the courage to do that by always treating her with respect and listening to her. Anyway that’s my thing for today, I’m home with my son because he isn’t feeling well. I guess all the pirate fighting he has done lately has taken a toll on his little ninja self. Ciao

Ninjas v. Pirates A conversation which just sprang out of the mind of a 10 year old boy. No not me silly my son. Now while I many at times think like a 10 year old, I see that as a good thing. “Dad, who would win in a fight a pirate or a ninja?” I say “ I really like pirates” “Are you kidding, there is no way a pirate would win, ninjas would win every time.” “Why is that” I ask “Well pirates are drunk all of the time and ninjas don’t drink. Pirates are always laying around and ninjas are always on task, ninjas have better armor and smoke bombs, cool swords and throwing stars. Pirates only have clothing and swords. Plus pirates aren’t very smart and you have to be smart to be a ninja. I say, “well pirates have cannon” Without hesitation he replies, “you have to see the ninjas coming to shoot them” “good point” So I guess that is why pirates stayed on the ocean because ninjas don’t have ships. So the moral of the story is that while it may be better to be a ninja but pirates work less and have more fun. Yay, for being a pirate but watch out for ninjas because they’ll kick your butt.

invis-ology Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by "ology." Q. What is your salad dressing of choice? A: changes all the time, I have about 7 or 8 different ones in the fridge now - well I think not eating meat makes that a needed thing so I don't get just plain sick of one of them Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? A. fast food places aren't so much on my dining guide lately, because I don't eat 99.99999 % of what they serve and I'm broke, as in phucking broke, so poor that I can't pay attention broke Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? A: ah being broke means dine and dash and most places don't like that method of payment usually earns 3 hots and a cot for a few months - that would mean jail - not such a hugh fan of jail and orange isn't really my color Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? A. When I had more money I was a very good tip giver usually around 20 percent if the service was good Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? A: rice Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice? A. plain cheese, I like my salad on the side of the pie thank you not on top and heated up. Q. What do you like to put on your toast? A. unsalted butter, or orange marmalade TECHNOLOGY Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer? A. cliff scene from 300 Q. How many televisions are in your house? A. one that works several others that have died BIOLOGY Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed? A. right, the nuns were not nice to the lett handed people, goes back to roman times the latin for left is sinister no really, and so left handed people are considered to be evil or rather were maybe they still are with the new nazi pope and all - I'm really hoping he brings back the inquisition next that would be fun Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? A. not intentionally but some parts have been taken off by accidents and other things Q. When was the last time you had a cavity? A. maybe like ten years ago Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted? A. wow, not much lifting lately, maybe the big tv when it died Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? A. yes, I ran into a tree, running on foot - long story you'll have to ask if you want to know BULL[CRAP]OLOGY Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? A. no, I would worry about it Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? A. Punk Ass Muther Fucker or Tiberius Constantine oh wait I already did that in the phone book so I guess I'm set on the name thing Q. What color do you think looks best on you? A. blue and black Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? A. by mistake? Oh I just happened to have (item which isn't food) in my mouth and swallowed. Didn't anyone teach you all not to put things in your mouth???? geez now have swallowed technically non-food items intentionally and by accident. they say the average person will eat 5 to 10 spiders in their life time at night while sleeping so if you sleep with your mouth open those extra calories you are getting might just be bugs committing suicide in your stomach Q. Have you ever saved someone's life? A. a few Q. Has someone ever saved yours? A. If they have i don't know about it DAREOLOGY Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? A. psh youre damn straight... thats a phone bill, bitches! (keeping 'stines answer) So that's right boys if you wanna kiss me have those crisp benjamin's in hand and pucker up cause I'm broke in case you haven't been following along Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? A. Do I get to pick which one? Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000? A. yes bulletins aren't considered blogs Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? A. Not sure if anyone would pay me to do that but hell yeah, I'm waiting for the check to clear before I take the first photo then I'm ready for my close up Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? A. I was in a fraternity that's all I'm going to say Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? A. Wow, that's a tough one, who where, do you have cash? DUMBOLOGY Q: What is in your left pocket? A: Nada and I have pockets Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? A. It was better than some and worse than others but by far not the worst ever I laughed Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? A: yes Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower? A: eh, stand sometimes I do other things but there is usually someone else in the shower then too, you'll have to ask them what I do then because I'm not telling Q: Could you live with roommates? A: I have my kids as roommates and I like that fine Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own? A. not a single pair of them not so much into the feet thing Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops? A: Define run in? Got pulled over in a car in april but I wasn't driving Q: What do you want to be when you grow up? A: Do I have to grow up? Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8 A: Danica LASTOLOGY Q: Person you talked to? A. My mother Q: Last person who called you? A: My mother Q: Person you hugged? A: My daughter FAVORITOLOGY Q: Number? A: 7 Q: Season? A: Fall or Spring CURRENTOLOGY Q: Missing someone? A: Yes Q: Mood? A: I have to go into work in a few Q: Listening to? A: the fan Q: Watching? A. the letters forming words as I type the answers to this survey as if by magic ... oh a nickle Q: Worrying about? A. money money money... mooooney! (keeping 'stine's answer) RANDOMOLOGY Q: First place you went this morning? A: to the bathroom Q: What can you not wait to do? A. get out of work today Q: What's the last movie you saw? A: as in at the theatre the new Bourne movie at home on dvd 13th warrior I'm reading Beowolf again,yes for fun and it is based on that in a round about way Q: Do you smile often? A: more so lately than I have Q: Are you a friendly person? A: I like to think that I am but lately a lot of people have told me that I'm not so I'm starting to wonder about this I think I'm friendly but I am private so I dont know I'm going with yes If I'm wrong you can post a comment and tell me I'm a prick if you like or worse I might even cry a little if that makes you happy

Well my run in’s with karma never seem to end, it’s not that these are life ending run in’s or anything I’m either a walking poster boy for Murphy’s law, or a real life Forrest Gump. Being that I’m not entirely mental and look nothing like Tom Hanks I’m going with the Murphy’s Law poster boy. Murphy’s Law being that which can go wrong will go wrong. Most of the cases I have to work on have some new and interesting twist to them that no one has ever happen to them or that happen so infrequently that that they can’t remember the last time that happened. It’s not just the job, if I get in line at the store - it’s the slowest line At a light I’m behind the person waiting for a different shade of green or trapped behind that guy who won’t pull up so you can get to the turning lane If I say something it’s the wrong thing Try to do the right thing and it turns around and bites me in the ass Try to do a favor and it turns out it didn’t need to be done. I’m not complaining mind you I’m just making observations Who knows all this new experience has got to pay off at some point right? Right? So karma is still keeping me around as her whipping boy. Yay Oh wait my mother is calling Ciao Invisible Don Song Mother by The Police PS I just thought the song would be a funny way to end the blog so If I have dated you I don't think you have become my mother

The other day I was in someone’s office at work because I had to be there. This person likes to talk and talk and talk. Well I find a way to leave the conversation and then on my why out on their radio I hear a song I really like playing. So I say you know I really like this song just as a matter of passing. You know as if to say I really like sunny days. Well now this really simple comment has lead to a lot of analysis about why do I like that song and what does it mean to me. Well that is sort of personal question. So I say I just like it. It’s not an upbeat song but it isn’t all that sad, a little bit though. The song does have a special meaning to me but I’m not sharing. I’m not even going to say what it is here in this blog. I’m really sort of glad it wasn’t one of my really guilty pleasure songs like Hanson’s M-bop or something by Marilyn Manson like Beautiful People or Pepper by the Butthole Surfers. Now there are three bands you won’t see in the same sentence often. I can only imagine what the comments would be had I said you know The Ballad of Resurrection Joe and Rosa Whore by Rob Zombie is one of my favorite songs. That isn’t entirely true but I do like that song. I guess my point is can’t you just say something in passing anymore without everyone taking it far too out of context. I mean I rarely give compliments to people anymore that I haven’t known for a very long time because it might be sexual harassment. To either gender. It has gotten to be a world where every thing we say has to have some deeper meaning or that we are trying to say something we aren’t saying. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t think it is … and as far as the Hanson thing goes you know you love that song too. MMM BOP Oh yeah have a good day and if you are on myspace I’m posting MMM Bop as my video pick of the day. Feel free to call me freak if you like but I know you’ll play it and sing along too. Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du Yeah MMMM BOP Now that I have succeeded in getting that song stuck in your head WHY DO YOU LIKE THAT SONG???????????? Just because right. See I’m not wrong Have a nice day Ciao