i'm going back to lonely nights, without you by my side. the laughs we shared, the way we cared, all the fun we had together. part of me wants to beg you that you give me another chance, another part knows it's time to let you go. for now i'll cry, stuck in the middle of the unknown, wishing i knew what to do. i tell you i don't love you, but was it love that brought me to your side that night? is it love that makes me want to let go? you made your choice and i couldn't handle waiting anymore for you. so back to the lonely nights i go. i felt alone sometimes even when you were here. sleeping side by side, but backs turned away, though i always got a twitter when you pulled me into your arms. for the first time in a long time i felt safe in someones arms. i trusted you, though i had my weak moments of thinking can i trust him. i haven't trusted anyone in so very long. i guess i couldn't handle someone putting trust in me or showing me respect as i'm not used to having someone show me such respect. when i said i got mad at you, most of it was i am mad at me. for treating you so great, but sometimes feeling like i was shorted somehow. like something was missing, like i was doing things for you, but you didn't do alot for me. i hate that we fought all week, but i guess it was me trying to protect myself and my feelings knowing that though i should cherish my time with you, it was short lived, you had made your choice before i could tell you mine. so back to the lonely nights i go. back to going and getting drunk as all get out at the bar, trying to forget you. it hurts like hell right now, but i know it will get better. i started the process before it was even over. i started crying over what i was losing before it was even over. because i knew it was over. so back to the lonely nights i go.
