"FIGHTING THIS BATTLE"

Fearing this dark urge inside me shall one day go
and take over, I try not to thing of all the pain
that is surrounding me.Knowing that if I do not keep
myself in check, it may be a mistake.

Having thoughts I know should not be there inside
my mind, I try to keep busy and not slow down long
enough for them to catch up. Fearing I may go and
do the one thing I am trying not to.

People keep telling me just how grand and wonderful
love is, but so far i have had only pain and misery.
Having this heart of mine ripped from the encasement
that once before housed it there.

I know not all situations are the same, but I can
not seem to once again fully let down this guard I
have yet once again put up. Trying my best to keep
away the pain that gave me these thoughts.

Wondering at times if I am truly going insane or if
I am just scared to ever really love someone once
more. Wanting to never have this demon known only
as depression tighten it's firm grip.

Wishing there was some drug or procedure that would
at least take away this monster and set me free. Just
never truly understanding why it is me who always is
the one who seems to get hurt.

P.J.(LOST POET)
1/10/08
7:02PM